


The Edge of Darkness

by FallingThunder



Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Captivity, Confusion, F/M, Historical Inaccuracy, Historical drama, Romance, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 20:31:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 49,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/891535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingThunder/pseuds/FallingThunder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eleanor Morton had been used to the privileged life of a Gentleman’s daughter. She had been able to say and do what she liked, as long as it was not within earshot of her spiteful stepmother. This was until she and her brothers sought refuge in Addersly Castle, whose owner, Mr Richard Armitage, was rumoured to be the most dangerous man in the country...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to anyone who reads it!
> 
> I’d like to state that, although Mr Armitage’s name, appearance and voice are being used, the man in the story bears little to no likeness of the man’s personality (I assume, having never met him!). He simply has the perfect scowl I needed to build the character, so I’m leaving the rest there to help the imagination! and who doesnt want to imagine him in period costume??!

It was early December and raining heavily. Three figures walked as quickly as they could across an empty field, slipping on the mud in their hurry. The tallest figure, Mr Robert Morton strode out ahead, leaving his younger sister and brother behind, stumbling and holding each other’s arms for support. Eleanor was five years Roberts junior and considered to be a reckless sort, but of fine breeding. It was rumoured about the town that she had inherited quite the sum of money from her father when he had passed away four years before. Although in reality this was an insignificant sum compared to how much her brother was worth, she was considered to be a good match for a number of the young gentleman of her acquaintance, and what with her being in her twentieth year, it was thought by most that it would not be long before she was married.

Samuel was the youngest by ten years and was the child of their fathers’ second marriage. Neither Robert nor Eleanor were fond of their step mother and even Samuel treated her with civility rather than affection. Eleanor had referred to her as ‘the witch’ within a few hours of meeting her. She was a strong willed and cheerless person, and while her manners were polished she looked down her nose upon everyone. Her looks reflected her personality for she had a thin face and long nose that gave her a permanently stern look, and her small eyes darted about looking for any misdemeanour that her step children may have caused. The house always seemed silent, but this was about to change.  
Since the death of Robert Morton senior, Mrs Morton had been pining to go back to her family home away from London. She had finally been granted her wish when a suitable property had been found, which was quite a task in itself as Mrs Morton had many demands that her new house must fill. But one had been found and this is what led the three siblings into the rain. She had insisted that the three children join her at Rushdon House once she had settled in. Unknown to her Robert and Eleanor had made plans to journey back to their London home as soon after the New Year as they could. The thought of leaving their brother behind with his mother made Eleanor feel unwell, but he was still in her custody and the thought of spending any more time with her step mother than she had to was unthinkable.

They had taken a public coach to the nearest town, but were unwilling to wait until another arrived to take them to their destination. They resolved to walk, carrying the light bags they had brought with them. This was, of course, before the rain set in. It was now dark; they were now soaked to the skin and lost. Eleanor was getting tired. She was not wearing suitable shoes for walking in the rain and her feet were cold and painful. Samuel was winging under his breath which always had the power to annoy his sister, but she was too tired reprimand him. Suddenly Robert turned round

‘Eleanor!’ he called ‘I can see a building ahead; I think we should stop there and ask for help. We might get directions or they may even lend us a carriage’   
Eleanor looked up; trying to find the place that Robert was speaking of.

‘Robert, that looks like a castle.’ She said, finally locating it with a glance before shielding her eyes from the rain once again ‘It’s most likely a ruin, what if nobody is there?’ 

‘No…no, I can see a light in one of the windows, somebody must be at home.’

‘Might they have food Robert? I’m so hungry.’ Moaned Samuel

‘We must not intrude too much Sam.’ Eleanor said, half dragging him along by his elbow ‘They might be quite unfriendly, we must make sure not to overstay our welcome.’

They were travelling faster now, bent on reaching the dry and warmth as quickly as possible and they reached the large door of the castle covered in mud. Robert knocked with his fist on the door and took a step back, standing next to Samuel. It was a short while before a well-dressed elderly lady stood before them, the door creaking loudly as she pulled it open.

‘Oh my poor dears do come in! What are you doing out on a night like this?’ she said herding them into the entrance all and looking them over. Robert ran his hand through his black hair, dripping water all over the floor

‘I am extremely sorry to intrude ma’am, but I am afraid we have got lost on our way to Rushdon House. We are the children of the new owner, Lady Morton. Would you be able to give us directions so we can find our way there this evening?’ Robert said gesturing at the three of them and then the door.

‘Oh no, you must not go out again this evening, Rushdon house is above seven miles away, you will all catch your deaths! Especially the young lady, it is no weather for you to be walking. I shall have some clothes found for you, you cannot stay in those and I suspect anything you have carried with you will be soaked through as well. You must let me dry them for you.’ She said in a breathless rush 

‘You will dry them? But if you are a servant who owns this place?’ Robert asked as they followed her through an echoing corridor and into a high ceilinged drawing room.

‘The Master? He is Earl of Leicester, Mr Richard Armitage. You may have heard of him, he has a reputation in this area, I’m sure it’s spread further than I have travelled. You are very fortunate he is out of town at the moment, I’m sorry to say he doesn’t take to visitors very well.’

‘Oh, so this is Addersly Castle?’ Robert said moving to stand near the large fire that was burning in the fireplace, Eleanor and Samuel following fast behind him.

‘Yes sir, I see you have heard of us.’ She said, not looking too surprised at this news and giving the fire a strong prod with a poker.

‘Indeed, I am afraid to say the rumours have been circulating in London for as long as I can remember.’ Robert said sadly.

‘I’d like to say that he didn’t deserve them, but he brings it on himself. Now…’ she said more briskly ‘You stay and keep warm by the fire in here, I shall have some clothes found for you and three rooms made ready for you to stay in tonight. I shall be back presently.’ 

‘Wait a moment.’ Eleanor said ‘you have not told us what we are to call you?’ The woman stopped by the door.

‘You may call me Mrs Burke.’ she said and with that she exited the room. Eleanor looked up at Robert

‘Is this the man that mamma’s family would tell wild stories about and accuse of the most terrible crimes?’ Robert grimaced

‘Yes my dear. But do not let this trouble you.’ He said, leaning a hand against the mantelpiece ‘Mrs Burke has said that he is not in town at present, we should be quite safe.’

‘Quite safe? You mean you believe those dreadful rumours too?’ she said. She was always wary of the things that her step mother’s family would come out with. They were a crude family and not beyond exaggeration. 

‘I’m afraid I have been persuaded that they are true. I am more widely travelled than you are, and have attended many more balls. What I have heard fits with everything they said. This man is dangerous.’ 

‘Well, if you are right then I dare say that we shall be gone from here early tomorrow morning. But I hope you are not, I cannot believe someone so bad exists outside the realms of fantasy.’ 

‘Why can’t we leave now?’ Samuel asked, eyeing the room with fear.

‘Because if Mrs Burke is correct then mamma’s house is over seven miles away, we will not reach it tonight; not in this weather. That is without taking into account getting lost in the dark.’ Eleanor said her shoulders sagging at the thought of it.

‘Then why can we not take a carriage?’ Samuel persisted 

‘I do not think that Mr Armitage would like to lend his horses to anyone, particularly strangers.’ She said, remembering what her step mothers’ sister had said about his collection of fine studs around the country. It was said that very few people in England would buy from him, knowing who he was and unwilling to pay a high price for them, so they were often sold abroad. 

‘The housekeeper has been very kind in allowing us to stay here; we would otherwise be out in the cold. Don’t complain Sam.’ Robert said sharply. He was always quite blunt with Samuel, who had been brought up by a rather over indulgent nurse. He felt a certain duty towards making sure that Samuel was going to turn into a better young man than his childish manner at the present held out for him. 

At that moment Mrs Burke knocked and entered the room, saying that their rooms were ready and she and the butler, Vernon, had done the best they could for clothes. They filed out of the drawing room behind her. Once Eleanor was alone in her room, she peeled off her wet dress and put on the new one. It was not a very good fit and was rather loose around her shoulders, but she expected that she would only have to wear them for a short while until her travelling dress had dried. The room was lit by a small fire that had plainly not been burning long as the room was still deathly cold. Eleanor looked round and caught a glance of her reflection in a cracked mirror hanging next to the door. She let out a sigh, if her step mother could see her now she would disown her. Her face was pale and drawn with lack of sleep and there were large dark circles appearing under her eyes. Her hair, which was such a dark brown it appeared black unless seen next to her brothers’, had started to dry and looked a crazed mess. She tried to run her fingers through it, but it got stuck in the mass of tangles where her ordered curls had been that morning. She sighed and left the room.

She found her brothers in the drawing room again, already eating the food that Vernon had brought up. Eleanor sat and ate with them, feeling her strength return slightly. Mrs Burke remained in the room even after they had finished and cleared the plates. The three of them decided to stay next to the fire a little longer to warm up. Eleanor’s long hair was still damp and while it was getting more and more unruly the more it dried she had given up on taming it. She just wanted to be rid of the memory of being in the rain. Robert had sat in an old chair nearest the fire while Eleanor was curled up on a chaise lounge with Samuel stretched out on the floor next to her. Eleanor had started to drift into a light sleep when a load crash made her wake with a start. She turned to see Mrs Burke looking wide eyed towards the door.

‘The Master is home.’


	2. Chapter 2

‘Vernon! Vernon! Why is the carpet out here wet?’ A deep rumbling voice shouted.

‘I’m sorry sir; there were some young people…’ Vernon started but hearing this, the other voice cut him off.

‘People? Here? Mrs Burke!’ he bellowed. Eleanor heard footsteps coming down the corridor; she sat up straight and heard Robert stand next to her, pulling Samuel to his feet. She watched Mrs Burke make her way gingerly to the door as it was thrown open. A tall man strode through it, approaching Mrs Burke so menacingly that she took a couple steps back. He stood in front of her, his clothes as drenched as theirs had been, his dark hair sticking to his face. He had raised a hand, pointing a long finger at her face.

‘Burke, when did Addersly become an Inn for peasant travellers?! Have I not made it clear all these years that strangers do not come through those doors? I thought you understood that I do not care for your acts of kindness!’

‘But sir, I could not let a lady and a child stay out in this weather…’ she retorted in her quiet manner. At this he glanced at the three of them. Eleanor caught a flash of his blue eyes as they met with hers and her stomach jumped, but his eyes had already returned to Mrs Burke.

‘These people should be used to living in the cold. They are of no significance and if they knock on my front door then you should turn them away on mere principle!’

‘Excuse me!’ Robert interjected ‘We are not an impoverished family; I am greatly offended that you should suggest this having never met us!’ the man slowly turned to face Robert. Eleanor noticed his eyes again this time, but the shadow behind them had changed. He was staring at Robert with an incensed, crazed expression and she shrank in the chair.

‘I am sorry, but given your attire I think I made a fair assumption. Your way of speaking is considerably above the clothing you wear.’ He said in an astonishingly even tone of voice, it surprised Eleanor into a burst of confidence that caused her to say

‘Our own clothes were soaked in the rain, your housekeeper kindly found these for us.’ But she trailed off quietly as her eyes met his and she looked down at her hands.

‘My housekeeper? Burke, where did you find these clothes? If you have been rifling through my parents possessions then I swear.’ He said, his voice rising in anger again. A hand flew out and struck a nearby table, as it hit the floor it broke and the teacups sitting on it shattered. ‘I swear I will not be responsible for my actions.’

‘They belong to Vernon and I sir.’ Mrs Burke said softly. Eleanor watched him, breathing heavily, lean on the back of a chair. She thought he looked exhausted.

‘Sir, I must insist that you do not talk to your housekeeper like this. It is not her fault, if you want us to leave then just let us collect our things and we shall go!’ Robert said. Eleanor stared at him. What a stupid thing to do, she thought, just as he looked like he was calming down. To her surprise the sound of soft, sinister laughter broke the silence. She turned to see him sneering at them

‘Oh, oh no, young sir, you will not be leaving here tonight…nor any night. Burke, make sure all the doors are locked. I’m sure I can trust you not to escape, if not then Burke will fill you in on all the idle chatter about me, maybe that will keep you from crossing me.’ He mockingly bowed and left the room without saying another word to them. Eleanor could hear him telling Vernon to keep the keys somewhere safe and not to let them out. 

She looked up at Robert. He was staring blankly at nothing.

‘Well’ she said ‘at least we’re not stuck with mamma.’ He snorted 

‘Elle, I hate to say this, but I think I’d rather endure a lifetime in her company than one night in the same house as that man.’

‘You may yet do both sir, I don’t think we’ll be here forever.’ Eleanor said. She felt like she had to be positive as she knew how Robert was going to brood over the way Mr Armitage had spoken to him, and Samuel was looking worried. ‘My hair is dry now brother, I am going to try and get some sleep. Sam, I think you should too.’ She said, grasping his hand tightly and leading him out, leaving Robert in silence.

 

Eleanor collapsed on her bed, which had plainly not been slept in in years, but Mrs Burke had kept in well aired. She could hear Samuel snivelling in the room next to hers and sighed, but decided not to go to him. He would be too fatigued to carry on for much longer.

She felt remarkably calm, but perhaps that was just because she was too tired to think properly. Yes, she was confused, she was mistaken and the jump in her stomach when the man’s eyes met hers was fear and not excitement. But she could have sworn…no, nothing of the sort. She had to pull herself together, she wasn’t thinking straight.

But then…she was so bored with her current way of living. Her stepmother frightened her, her friends were dreadfully dull and she had a line of men proposing marriage to her that she knew were only trying to get their hands on her inheritance. She was not beautiful; she had known this for as long as she could form her own opinions. She had neither fair hair nor complexion and her eyes were too darker brown for the fashion. She was not tall enough to be considered graceful although her figure was not deplorable, and when she was dressed in a fine ball gown she could make a sufficiently pretty picture, if it was not for the expression of shear tedium on her face. 

She wished for adventure or at least to have the chance to be thrilled and set into a passionate frenzy that she could thrive off. She was of a reckless nature that needed to be fed and the thought of those flashing blue eyes was enough to make her roll out of bed and start pacing beside the window. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts, and a pair of perilously glittering eyes, that she did not hear Robert pass her door to his own room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had to edit this chapter as apparently I lack the ability to proof read late at night!


	3. Chapter 3

Eleanor woke the next morning to the sound of Samuel screaming. She got up out of the chair she had finally drifted off in and quickly walked to the next room. Samuel was sitting in the bed hiding under his covers. What had made him hide was immediately apparent to her. The bed, which was a large four poster, had ornate yet terrible carvings at each corner. He can’t have seen them in the dark last night, she thought, staring at them as she pulled the covers off of him. Each corner had a man holding a spear sculpted from the dark wood. A snake wrapped around the two at the feet of the bed and their ghastly faces pointed to the inhabitant of the bed.

‘Sam, it’s ok, they’re not real.’ She told him, rubbing his arm. Robert pushed open the door and looked round at this point.

‘Good God.’ He said catching sight of the bed ‘what the hell is that?’

‘Oh, I don’t know, it’s horrible isn’t it?’ Eleanor said ‘Robbie, let’s get him into your room.’

‘I’m not swapping rooms with him; there is no way I’m sleeping in that!’ he said, helping her pull their brother out of the bed and eying it suspiciously.

‘Fine, I will swap rooms then. Honestly Robert I thought you had more sense than to be frightened of some old carvings on a bed!’

 

Samuel was put into the room Eleanor had slept in and she returned to her new room once he had settled. She was standing at the foot of the bed scrutinising each of the faces when Mrs Burke knocked at the door to tell her that her clothes were now dry and that the master has specified a room that they should spend the day in. She changed quickly and found both of her brothers standing outside with Mrs Burke who was waiting to show them to the new room.

‘I’m not sure why he picked this room but it’s one of the smaller rooms in the place, so you should keep warm. I’ve had Vernon bring some food for you and you just need to call me if you need anything, but not too loudly as the Master’s Library is opposite and he spends most evenings in there. I shall not be far away.’ She said breathlessly, guiding them into a small room with a low ceiling. ‘Call me at any time my dears.’ She said and left.

‘Well, I am not happy about any of this’ said Robert when they were alone. ‘In fact I am deeply troubled at our imprisonment here. Mamma is going to be in a right state and I don’t know what we’re going to do about clothes!’ Eleanor stopped listening as he showed no intention of ceasing his long list of complaints, although Samuel was looking up at him enthralled. She walked around the room, examining some of items she found. There were several books littered about it and she picked the ones that looked interesting up and piled them on a table.

‘Honestly, if I get a chance, I’m going to take him down and we’ll escape. No one will care if he’s dead; I’ve never heard a good word about him. We’ll be safe from him and his name will be dragged through the mud even more! I bet a crowd would turn up to see him put in the ground!’

‘Robert! How dare you say these things?! You are out of your reckoning, you have heard what people say about him, what makes you think you’ll beat him in a battle of force? I dare say he is sharper than you are, mamma said he’d been abroad in the war and he was a cold blooded killer. They say he barely sleeps, and that I can believe.’

‘Is he a…vampire?’ Samuel cut in, clapping his hands to his face.

‘No Sam, they don’t exist.’ Robert said irritably ‘You think he has a place in this world? What if I got a chance? Would you be singing the same tune?’

‘Yes I would! I have never seen this side of you sir, I am deeply disappointed. I refuse to stay in the same room as you while you remain in this mood!’ she picked up the book on the top of her pile and almost ran out into the corridor.

She was so preoccupied with her last conversation that she didn’t notice the sound of raised voices until she had reached the balcony above the staircase. She looked down to see Mr Armitage in a blazing row with Mrs Burke and a poorly dressed young man, who appeared to be a stable hand, in the entrance hall. She took a few steps back so that she was hidden in the shadows of an alcove containing a rusty suit of armour, and peered out to watch.

‘Have you no sense woman?! If the gates are open people will think they can come poking their noses in! You must know by now the state your reputation is in because you work for me, if people find out about this you mark my words it will only get worse!’ Mr Armitage said, pacing up and down on his long legs.

‘But sir, how do you know anyone is looking for them?’ she said stoutly

‘Nash told me they have people searching the fields. Thank the Lord that Nash knew nothing of this when they approached him, or we’d have half the town searching the place right now.’

‘My Lord, maybe it would be best just to…’

‘No Burke, I am no mood for your reasoning or for bargaining. I know what the eldest one was thinking last night, it was written all over his face, he needs to cool down.’  
‘And you? Don’t you think you should make an effort to be more civil?’ she said. He stopped his continual pacing and blinked at her.

‘How many times must I tell you that I don’t care for you voicing your opinions on me? This is the last I will hear of it. I’m sick of your presence so you will hear this and go. Nash will lock the gates; you will lock the doors and open them only for myself, Nash or Alderman. Do you understand?’ he said fiercely. She nodded. He waved his hand in dismissal and she left.

‘What about that lame horse Nash, where is he now?’ Mr Armitage asked Nash

‘I had him stabled sir. His leg is swollen, I was going to run it under cold water but it was cold last night and the taps are frozen.’

‘Is there nothing else you can do?! Surely a cold compress would do for now, or have you no ability to think for yourself?!’

‘I am sorry Sir; I shall go immediately and…’

‘No, I will go. I would like to see this for myself anyway. Prepare the compress and meet me in the stable.’

They walked together to the front door and Mr Armitage unlocked it with a key from his pocket. They passed out and Eleanor heard the key turn in the lock again. There was no escape that way or any other if that conversation was to be believed.

Her heart had sunk. The excitement in her stomach the previous night had long gone and she was dreading any meeting with the Lord that they may have. The way he had spoken to his servants frightened her. She could not imagine how Mrs Burke could bear being treated with such disregard. She quickly checked that she was once again alone and darted out from her hiding place and ran to her room, making a mental note not to tell Robert about what she had overheard.


	4. Chapter 4

The December days were getting colder and a bitter wind was slamming into the windows of Addersly Castle. The three siblings would sit in their room all day listening to Robert complaining, Eleanor only intervening when his babbling turned to insults and provocation regarding a man that may be within earshot. Samuel listened but made little or no comments himself. She was getting very bored. The interest in the books she had found was wearing thin and she had begun to lose count of the days already.

She was amazed to hear Mrs Burke say to Vernon that the three of them had been there for a week already. In this time she had only caught a glimpse of Mr Armitage once more. She was the last person leaving for bed two nights earlier and had left their room as he was about to enter the library. He had looked up to see her about to dash back and hide. But he had caught her eye and she had found herself quite unable to move. There was a glint in his eyes as he looked at her, and she could have sworn she had caught a small smile as he looked her up and down. Then he nodded his head to her and disappeared, leaving her feel breathless and confused again.

 

It was evening and unusually they had all settled quietly reading when they were interrupted by a knock on the door and the sound of it opening. Eleanor looked up but there was no one there, just the door standing ajar.

‘Mr Morton, may I have a word please.’ A deep voice spoke through the gap.

‘Of course sir.’ Robert replied, remaining seated where he was, assuming that the Lord of the household would come forth into the room to speak to him. He did not, and the voice said in more aggravated tones

‘I desire to speak to you in private sir, if you would but follow me into the room across the hallway I am sure it will be just as comfortable as the one you are sitting in now.’

At this Robert stood up quickly, his face showing a look of badly concealed anxiety as he left his siblings. The Lord had not waited for him, but had left the door of the library open to direct Robert to the right room. He closed the door behind him with a light thud. The fire in the Library was burning brightly and the light of it illuminated the face of Mr Armitage, throwing the lines on his face into sharp relief as he sat in a winged back armchair facing it.

‘Sit down sir, I’m sure you will find the fire most agreeable.’ He said, without turning his face to Robert. He did as he was asked and sat in the chair that had plainly been laid out for his use. It was a moment before Mr Armitage spoke again, and Robert sat in his chair not knowing whether it was his place to speak first.

‘Mr Morton, you must think me a thoroughly wicked man for keeping you and your family here. I know I am, and I ask no forgiveness from you for it.’ The Lord said quickly and taking his eyes off of the fire and now looking at Robert with a fixing stare. ‘I would, however, like to resolve this situation. I am prepared to let you go to your home, but I have two conditions which must be fulfilled or else I should truly become the feared beast at Addersly Castle. Are you willing to hear them?’

Robert nodded, blinking furiously as he attempted to keep eye contact with his host.

‘Very well, the first condition is that once you leave here, nobody must know that I kept you here against your wishes. A story shall be made, that you shall all learn before you leave this house. I do not need capture and imprisonment added to the list of grievances held against me.’ Robert thought for a moment, unable to think of any objections to this, although feeling slightly disappointed that he could not shock the town with news of the past weeks events. He nodded.

‘Very well sir and what is the second condition?’

‘The second condition.’ He let out a soft laugh and smirked, once again averting his gaze to the fire ‘The second condition, is that I have your sisters’ hand in marriage.’ 

Robert sat rigid in his chair, for a moment too stunned to speak. He recovered himself and said crossly

‘No sir, I am sorry, but she shall never agree to it! She is too fine a woman to let herself be tied to a man twice her age, and a despised recluse at that! She was meant for better things, although sometimes I think that she is determined never to marry. But even that is better that than the life you propose!’ 

‘You may be right.’ Mr Armitage replied coolly ‘I’m not well thought of, I’ve done some terrible things which have given me an equally terrible temper. I don’t think I need to say that if your sister refuses me I will be unlikely to find a wife. But that will be her decision; do you agree that at least?’ Robert spluttered incoherently which Armitage took as a positive and stood up ‘Then there is little more left to say until her answer is known.’ He continued as he walked over to the door, Robert standing quickly and rushing to follow him. He had caught him up by the time Mr Armitage had reached the door his sister was behind and they entered the room at the same time.

‘What is it, sir?’ Eleanor asked, seeing Mr Armitage and her brother in the doorway both looking flushed.

‘Eleanor, listen to me, you must not be afraid to say no, I will understand. This man, Mr Armitage, has said to me that we can leave this place under certain conditions. But, you must not be alarmed, he has said that you must marry him, or we, that is, Samuel and I, cannot leave.’

‘Excuse me?’ Eleanor said ‘say it slowly please.’

‘Allow me Morton, perhaps I can string a coherent sentence together better than you can at this time. Miss Morton, I have said to your brother that both he and your younger brother may leave Addersly if they do not repeat that I kept you here against your will to anyone… And if you do me the honour of marrying me.’

‘But, my dear, we will not be angry with you if…’ Robert started, making Mr Armitage’s sharp features darken.

‘Robert, I do not need you to tell me what I can or can’t do, I can make these decisions for myself.’ Eleanor interrupted briskly ‘My Lord, do I have your word that they can leave this very moment if I stay to marry you?’

‘Eleanor…’

‘Yes you do. So long as they do not…’ he started but she cut him off

‘Tell anyone that you kept us here against our will, I understand that, but they can leave unharmed?’

‘They can.’ He said, his eyes searching her face. She glanced from the Lord to Robert and then to Samuel.

‘I accept.’

‘El….’ 

‘No Robert that is enough. I know you have been my natural protector since our father died, but you know me too well to suppose that I will take notice to anything you say if I am not in agreement. Now you must work out your story, what you will say that is, to mamma and, and to everyone else.’ She said, her voice trailing off. She turned to Mr Armitage ‘I assume, my Lord, that you will be taking matters into your own hands with regards to our….wedding.’

‘I shall, my Lady, if you are willing to let me.’ He replied; the light in his eyes that she had noticed before was flickering and a half smile played on his lips. She almost found herself wanting to smile back.

‘Now wait just one moment!’ Robert finally exclaimed ‘This is most improper! When is this marriage supposed to take place? I cannot leave her here on her own unmarried with a man such as you. Only think of her reputation if she was left here without a chaperone. Then pray tell me where, no church in this county will marry you sir, to any lady, let me tell you!’ there was a very stuffy silence as Robert stared from his sister to Mr Armitage, demanding one of them to speak.

‘You are wrong Mr Morton. Addersly has its own chapel, the vicar there will have no objection to performing my marriage, and he has known me all my life. I shall visit him first thing tomorrow morning to ask this favour of him. If you are worried about time, then I shall implore him that it must be done with no time to spare.’ Armitage said simply ‘have you any other concerns?’

Robert glared at him, plainly thinking of all the other concerns he has on this highly unsuitable marriage, but said nothing more.

‘If you will excuse me, I am tired and wish to go to bed. Goodnight.’ Eleanor said, not making eye contact with any of them and left the room.

Samuel, who had been sitting quietly in a chair behind where Eleanor had been standing, finally plucked up the courage to speak.

‘Are we leaving?’


	5. Chapter 5

Eleanor curled up in a corner of her bed and rested her head in her hands. She felt sick. She was completely at a loss at what to do now; she had made the only decision that seemed right to her. It was better that only she would remain there rather than all three of them. But what was going to happen to her next? She felt affronted that he had used her as a bargaining tool and waves of anger would wash over her as she thought about it. What did he want with her? Well, she supposed, part of that answer was obvious, but she wasn’t pretty enough for a man like him. He must know what he looked like, even with the knowledge of his character she thought him dreadfully handsome. She could think of a few of the young ladies about town that would positively throw themselves at him if he only made the effort to behave respectably. 

She sighed. He simultaneously made her feel uneasy and charged with delight. That night was the first time she had been able to get a good look at him and her stomach turned. His nose was rather larger than she had remembered and his dark hair, which was now dry, fell around his cleanly shaven face effortlessly. He was tall and had towered over Robert, whom she had always considered to be quite lofty, but he held himself with elegance and confidence. She recalled his eyes, which hadn’t left her face, twitching as he smiled. Could he smile properly? What she had seen was only slight. She wondered what his laugh sounded like, what kind of sense of humour he had. Did he even have one? Oh this was hopeless, she knew next to nothing about him and what she did know she didn’t like. She rolled over and buried her head in the pillows.

 

It was late the next morning by the time Eleanor went to find her brothers in their drawing room. Robert told her that Mr Armitage had called in on them earlier to tell them that he had spoken to the vicar and arranged everything to take place two days later. He had then turned away and a horribly claustrophobic silence filled the room. 

No more words were passed between them that day and the next Eleanor decided to only go to their shared room at mealtimes as she couldn’t stand how her brothers would avoid looking at her at all costs. It was not until the evening before they were to be married that she saw Mr Armitage again.

There was a knock on her bedroom door after she had returned from dinner and she opened it to find him standing outside holding a big box in his arms.

‘Good evening Miss Morton. I am sorry that I have not had a chance to see you over the past couple of days. I have been busy. I hope your brother has told you what I explained to him, or you’ll be in for a shock.’ He scrutinised her for a moment when she didn’t answer and prompted ‘He told you that we are to be married tomorrow?’

‘Oh, yes sir, he did.’ She said, desperately trying to look him in the eye, but backing out every time she tried to. 

‘Everything is ready; I just wanted to give you this.’ He said, handing her the box ‘for you to wear tomorrow. I must confess I had Burke collect one of your own dresses for me to take to the tailors. I do hope you didn’t miss it?’ 

‘No I didn’t.’ she whispered, finally looking into his eyes. ‘You…you didn’t have to…’

‘I did. I wanted to.’ He said placidly, frowning at her ‘are you alright? You look pale.’

‘I’m fine; I just didn’t expect…this.’ She paused, her mouth still open, gaping at him stupidly. He raised an eyebrow.

‘I understand. Burke will call you tomorrow morning. The vicar is expecting us about three o’clock. I hope that’s fine?’ he asked, his voice a low, soft rumble. She blinked at him.

‘Yes, it is sir.’ Her eyes leaving his and staring down at the box, tapping her fingers on it ‘thank you for this.’

‘Don’t mention it. Sleep well Miss Morton.’ He said, bowing slightly and striding away.

 

She didn’t sleep well. In fact, she didn’t sleep at all until the sun had already started to rise the next morning. Mrs Burke didn’t call her until early afternoon and by this time she was awake and was running her fingers through her hair. It looked tamer than it had when she had first arrived, mostly due to her having had a bath and being clean, but it still was not how she was used to wearing it. She hadn’t looked in the box he had given her last night. It was sitting on the end of her bed, looking like it was being guarded by the two carvings.

Mrs Burke flustered around the room, insisting that she ate something, but she refused everything the older woman offered to fetch for her.

‘You only have an hour left my dear; you need to be getting ready now.’ Mrs Burke told her, picking up the box ‘is this what the master brought back for you?’ Eleanor nodded ‘Would you like me to help…’

‘No, thank you Mrs Burke, I’ll be fine.’ She said, smiling weakly. Mrs Burke didn’t look convinced but left.

Eleanor set the box back down on the bed and opened the lid. On top was her old dress which she put aside quickly and gently pulled out the other. It was white, of course, silk, quite plain but must have been very expensive. She held it, stroking the material. She had never worn something as nice as this in her life. She had always thought her step mother had a poor taste in clothing, coupled with a dislike of spending money meant that Eleanor had a very unimpressive wardrobe. It was a while before she came to her senses and realised that she didn’t have long before Mrs Burke would be back. She scrambled into the dress, which fit her perfectly, and sat on the edge of her bed and patiently waited.

 

That afternoon went very quickly. Addersly Chapel was very small, but still looked empty with so few of them in attendance. Eleanor only spoke when she had to, only smiled when she caught someone’s eye. Robert had regained his composure somewhat and would speak calmly to anyone that asked him a question, even to Mr Armitage, who seemed to be in a good mood. Samuel was as silent as ever, Eleanor wondered if he would ever speak again after his stay in the castle. The service was short, which was just as well for Eleanor as her legs had gone numb, but it was getting dark by the time they arrived back at the castle and sat down to eat. 

Eleanor sat at the dinner table refusing all food offered to her. She sat next to her husband, quietly twisting the gold ring round her finger. He was making pleasant conversation with Robert, who had become extremely relaxed with the aid of a very fine bottle of wine. She would glance up at them from time to time, to see Robert getting more and more flushed as the alcohol started to take effect. Every time she looked at Mr Armitage he would meet her eyes, and it became apparent that he was closely watching her. After the plates had been cleared some hours later he grasped her hand under the table to stop her from fidgeting with her ring. He squeezed her fingers gently so that she looked up at him questioningly.

‘Are you feeling unwell? Are you sure you didn’t want any food? I can have something brought up for you.’ He asked quietly while Robert was distracted trying to make Samuel try the wine.

‘I don’t want anything thank you sir.’ She said quietly ‘I’m just tired.’

‘Did you not sleep well last night?’

‘Not really, no.’ she said reluctantly, she didn’t want to say she wanted to go to bed, but there was no other reason to be tired. 

‘Were you worried about today?’

‘I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.’ she said under her breath. He gripped her hand tighter.

‘Please don’t be. If you would like to go and get some rest now Burke will show you the way? I will see your brother sobers up.’ Eleanor wanted to refuse, to delay the inevitable just a little longer, but it was no use. He was frowning at her and when she didn’t answer he stood up, releasing her hand. 

‘Mr Morton, please can I have your attention?’ he asked Robert ‘Your sister is retiring for the evening, will you say goodbye? I understand you intend to leave early tomorrow morning, I imagine you will not see her before you leave.’

Eleanor had thought that this might be their last meeting, but in his current state Robert probably would not remember their farewell. Samuel rushed from his seat and hugged her tightly, sobbing incomprehensibly. She patted his head and told him to take care. Robert staggered up and joined the hug before Samuel had let go.

‘Good luck Elle.’ He murmured ‘I’ll write to you soon.’ Stepping back, he grabbed Samuel by the scruff of the neck and pulled him away.

‘Bye.’ She said nervously glancing up at Mr Armitage as she passed him who said

‘I have left something on the bed for you; I think it’ll be more comfortable than what you are wearing now.’ She nodded, clenching her teeth, and followed Mrs Burke away.


	6. Chapter 6

Mrs Burke led Eleanor to a part of the castle she had never been before; it daunted her that there was a lot of the place for her to see yet. She wondered if she’d ever know her way around all of it. It was a while before Mrs Burke spoke, and when she did it was in hushed tones.

‘My dear, I am sorry for this trouble I have caused you. I never thought the master would arrive back so early, and then I didn’t expect …’

‘Please think no more of it Mrs Burke; you have been very kind to us. You were not to know. But you must tell me, what part of the castle we are in now?’

‘We are heading to the master’s chamber in the south wing. It’s the only room in use up here, although I don’t mind telling you that he rarely sleeps there. I often find him asleep in the library in the mornings. He is troubled, my dear, I don’t think I have known him sleep the night through since he came back from the war.’

‘You mean the war in France? I had heard he was in that, why did he come back?’ Eleanor garbled, at last finding something interesting this evening.

‘He came back after his father died about eight years ago, or it might have been nine now. I don’t like to speak ill of the dead, but he was a nasty piece of work, far worse that his son.’ Mrs Burke said, stopping next to a door and pushing it open ‘I’m afraid this is it. I shall leave you; Master said you were to rest.’

‘But Mrs Burke, you cannot leave a story open like that! I can tell there is more to it, you _must_ tell me more!’ Eleanor demanded, her mind now engrossed in new exciting adventures rather than dwelling on what she had been dreading for the rest of the day.

‘No, not now, Master will be back soon and I’m afraid he will be in a frightful mood if he finds that I have kept you up. In any case, it’s not my tale to tell.’

‘But…’ Eleanor started, but Mrs Burke raised a finger to stop her.

‘Another time, my dear.’ She said and dashed off before Eleanor could say anything more.

She twisted her head and looked through the open door, the adrenalin was seeping from her and she was feeling the nerves already. The room was big and high ceilinged, with a large fire burning brightly in the grate. Several wardrobes and dressers were lined up round the room. _How many clothes did the man have?_ She felt guilty that she hadn’t even noticed what he was wearing this evening.

Her eyes found the bed, where there was another box laid out. She went to it and opened it. She bit her lip as she pulled out another white dress. This one was plainly a nightdress, but the fabric was as nice as the one she was wearing. And _oh it was nice_ , she thought, as she lifted it up to look at it in the light. She glanced around the room for a mirror and, on finding one behind the door, she rushed to change.

She looked at her reflection, and her eyes widened. The dress was lovely, it fitted like a glove but, it was a little… _flattering._ The neckline plunged very low and it hugged her body far more than anything she had ever worn before. She knew exactly why he had bought it and the thought of his imminent arrival made her feel light headed. She stumbled over to the window and yanked it open, breathing in the cold December air desperately. She wanted to burst into tears, she was overwhelmed, she didn’t know if she was scared and disliked her husband, or if she actually wanted the rest of the night to happen.

As she gradually calmed down she realised that it was fear that was making her feel like this. She stared out of the window blankly, mulling over the day’s events and didn’t turn around when she heard footsteps approaching the door. It opened.

‘I see the dress fits.’ He said after closing the door and locking the bolt.

‘Yes sir, you have very good taste.’ She replied steadily, as she turned from the window to look at him.

‘You look afraid my Lady.’ He said, the tone of his voice changing. She gulped, gripping her hands together nervously and saying in a quiet voice

‘I am sir.’ His brows furrowed and he walked slowly to meet her, stretching out his hands to take hers.

‘Are you afraid of me? What I will do to you now I have you trapped in this godforsaken castle?’ avoiding his eye contact at all costs, she said

‘Yes sir.’ this time so quietly he could barely hear her. Letting out a low sigh he moved his hands up her arms and to her shoulders, holding them firmly but not unkindly.

‘Then let me promise you something. Whatever you have heard about me, whatever those people say or whatever you have seen in me that displeases you, these things are not untrue. I have not behaved in a way fit to my position or my circumstance and they have not been more unkind to me than I deserve. But you, my Lady, are now my wife and you have my word that I shall be no less than a gentleman wherever your happiness is concerned.’ Startled by him at this short speech she finally looked up into his eyes, seeing an expression that she had not seen on his face before. His features were softer, kinder as he stared down at her with an expression of mixed confusion and worry.

‘And what do you want in return sir?’ she said, slightly more boldly than she had spoken yet. He raised a hand and placed it on the side of her face, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. The corners of his mouth twitched slightly as he said

‘In return, I would like to see you smile. I would like to see you enjoy your life here and to hear the sound of your laughter, and be in the hope that one day you could love me as much as my own affection has grown for you.’ She pulled away, shocked at his words and wondering what had caused him to speak to her so compassionately.

‘But you barely know me, you have kept us here little more than a week!’

‘And all that time I have been near, listening to the conversations between you and your brothers, trying to work out how I could rid my house of you without causing a scandal and making me even more hated than I already am. All that time I listened, hearing your elder brother making threats towards me, all the things he would do when he escaped. But then you would talk him down calmly and gently, but never letting a single point get past you. You are strong and kind, bold but caring and I have never thought I would meet a woman like you.’ His voice had changed again now; there was an air of desperation it, willing her to understand. His hands now lowering to rest carefully on her hips

‘Oh what has happened in your life to make you hide this side of yourself away?’ she said, allowing her hands to rest on his arms.

‘That is not a conversation for tonight my Lady.’ He replied more formally ‘Now you must tell me, are you still afraid?’

‘I am sir, but less than I was.’ She said thoughtfully

‘I am glad to hear it, but I shall not force myself upon you if you are not comfortable. Allow me to escort you to the room you have been sleeping in since you arrived. I shall have something more suitable put to in the morning.’

He let go of her and made his way to the door, unbolting it and holding it open for her. She stood in silence for a moment, a sense of relief washing over her. She looked up at him to find him watching her; the flicker in his eyes was back although the smile was not. He was handsome, she noted, and not for the first time. Dressed in black, he might have looked like a villain from one of her books. But his face was relaxed and the memory of his previous words were still echoing in her ears.

‘My lady?’ He questioned, breaking her out of her thoughts. She started slightly and upon seeing him holding the door for her, she walked through it.

‘Thank you My Lord.’ She said quietly, threading her arm through his as he offered it to her.

‘You must call me Richard, my Lady. I want you to think of me as a person, not a captor.’

‘Then call me Eleanor.’ She said reluctantly, not knowing if it was the right thing to say, but they were married now, they should really be on first name terms.

‘Your brother told me that he was not sure if you would ever marry. Is this true?’ he said as they walked slowly along the wide corridors.

‘Not really, I guess it would look like that, but all the gentlemen of my acquaintance are so terribly dull I really cannot bear talking with them for longer than a few minutes. And then for them to suppose that I would…’ she trailed off ‘perhaps that is not a conversation for tonight either.’

‘Am I honoured to have you as my wife?’ He asked, catching on to what she was about to say and smirking down at her.

‘I don’t think so. But…but you must be prepared…no I’ll not say tonight, it’ll keep.’ She said as they reached her door.

‘I’m sure it will.’ He looked up at the door ‘Oh, Burke did not give you the room with that awful bed in it did she?’ she snorted with laughter at the disgusted look on his face.

‘No, she gave it to Samuel. He woke up, saw them and nearly had a heart attack, so I swapped rooms with him.’ He raised his eyebrows

‘You don’t mind it?’

‘It’s just a bed.’ she shrugged

‘A god-awful one, why my father brought it back…never mind. It’s late and you probably want to get some sleep. Good night my Lady Eleanor, may I tell you that you looked beautiful today?’ He said, raising her hand to kiss it and then left her without waiting for an answer, heading in the direction of the library rather than his own chamber.

She stood where he left her long after he was out of sight.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone who has been reading it this far! I have changed my writing style a bit to something a little more natural for me now, I don’t know how noticeable the change is, but it was a conscious decision! 
> 
> Also, I apologise for any silly mistakes in this chapter. I’ve had a long day and my proof reading is bound to have missed something!

Eleanor woke to the sound of horses trotting and guessed that her brothers were now on their way home. Rubbing her eyes she sat up. The gold ring sat where she had left it on her bedside table. She reached to grab it and set it on her finger. Glancing down at it she wondered how on earth he had known what size to get. There was more to him than meets the eye.

 She recalled their conversation from the night before as she started to twist the ring round her finger again. Yes, _there is far more to him than people say_ , she thought. Throwing the covers back, she pulled herself out of bed and made her way to the window, hoping to see the carriage still making its way off into the distance, but it had gone. She sighed and was about to turn away and start looking for clothes when she heard hooves again. Looking down she saw Mr Armitage riding away on a large grey horse. Her heart sank, _where was he going_? And more importantly, _when was he going to be back_?

‘Mrs Burke!’ she shouted, rushing to the door and opening it ‘Mrs Burke, are you there?’ she paused and listened. She heard the sound of footsteps getting louder and louder until Mrs Burke came into view.

‘Oh there you are! I couldn’t work out where your voice was coming from, I had not realised you had come back here. Did he really behave himself so badly for you to come back to this room? And you must be cold!’ Mrs Burke gushed, gesturing to her nightdress. Eleanor tugged at it, trying to make it look a little more respectable but she didn’t make much difference.

‘I’m not cold and nothing was wrong last night. We just had a talk and decided it would be better if I didn’t sleep with him for the time being.’ She said, not wanting to go into details.

‘Oh? I didn’t expect that of _him_.’ Mrs Burke said taken aback.

‘Neither did I’ Eleanor admitted ‘Do you know where he’s gone? And when he’s going to be back?’

‘I was not told where he was going, and I don’t think he told Vernon. Mind, I don’t expect he’ll be too long, not with Christmas only six days away now.’

 

 Mrs Burke left Eleanor alone in her room. Chattering away about finding her a blanket to help keep her warm, no matter how many times Eleanor told her that she didn’t need one. She felt flat. Not only had she failed to find out where Mr Armitage had gone but she had also had the painful reminder that Christmas was approaching. She hadn’t had time to think about it since arriving at the castle; more important things had pushed it to the back of her mind, but she remembered now. She had not been looking forward to spending the day in the company of her step-mother’s family, but at least she would have had Robert. She felt so alone already.

 She looked round the room more carefully and decided that she would drag the writing desk, which had been gathering dust in a corner, and lined it up next to the window. She followed by moving a chair and sat behind it, peering out of the window. The view was good and she should see anyone approaching from a long distance away.

And there she remained, covered by the blanket Mrs Burke had found for her, for four days. She picked at her food but barely ate any, drank water out of boredom more than anything else and slept where she sat. She saw no one neither arrive nor depart and only had contact with Mrs Burke, who had made it her personal mission to mother her as much as humanly possible. But Eleanor continued to sink into even lower spirits.

 

 

She was sitting in her usual spot at the writing desk, gazing nonchalantly out at the grey sky. The plate of food next to her was untouched and cold, the glass of water less than half empty. Her eyelids had begun to droop when there was a sharp knock at the door.

‘Yes?’ she said, pushing he unkempt hair out of her face and twisting round where she sat, expecting to see Mrs Burke bustling in, but instead saw a rather different figure.

‘My Lady, Burke has told me that you are suffering from low spirits. I came to make sure you were not as ill as she makes out.’ Eleanor jolted, her heart racing at the sound of his voice.

‘Oh…I am fine sir, really, I assure you…’ she stuttered, wondering how she had not seen him ride home over the last few days.

‘Call me Richard…You look pale. When did you last go outside?’ he asked, approaching her slowly; studying her face.

‘Not since I arrived, sir.’ He pursed his already thin lips and sighed

‘Richard’ He said sternly

‘Not since I arrived, _Richard’_ she repeated

‘Then I have something for you that I hope will make you feel a little better. Will you accompany me outside?’ she raised her eyebrows

‘For me?’ she questioned ‘Why?’

‘It is actually what I bought for you for Christmas, but I think you ought to have it a little early if you are so bored. Will you come with me?’ she nodded and got up hesitantly, her blanket dropping onto the back of her chair.

‘Here.’ He said, pulling of his long black coat and wrapping it round her ‘You’ll need this’

‘Thank you.’ She said, pulling her arms into the sleeves so she could thread her left arm through his as they walked.

 He took her through a door she hadn’t seen before, which led out of the main castle and into a cobbled yard. She saw the big arches that his coaches must be housed behind and wondered why they were headed this way. He took her through a wide door into a lofty stone building and a familiar smell of hay and polished leather hit her nostrils. A smile instantly broke out across her face and her husband, who had been watching her carefully, let out a shout of laughter

‘You’re brother told me you were quite the horsewoman; I did not think they would have such an instant effect on you!’

‘When did he tell you that?’

‘After he’d sobered up a little and was giving me an earful about making sure I took care of you. But that’s not the only reason we’re here. Alderman, you can bring her out now please.’ He called, and a grey haired man appeared from the loosebox at the end, leading a tall chestnut mare. She was pulling strongly and danced on the spot with her long white legs.

‘I had to put a bridle on her I’m afraid sir, she’s fresh today and I struggled to hold her otherwise.’ The grey haired man said, turning the horse in a circle.

‘I can see, but she only arrived last night, she will need time to settle.’ Richard said looking down at Eleanor ‘Do you like her?’

‘She’s beautiful.’ She replied; her eyes fixed on the horse, taking in everything from her flaxen mane and tail to the flash of white on her face.

‘She’s yours.’

‘What?’ she started, wrenching her eyes away to meet his ‘you’re giving me a horse?!’

‘Well…yes. She’s your Christmas present.’

‘But I haven’t got you anything.’ She blurted ‘I’ll feel bad for accepting it.’

‘Why? You don’t need to get me anything; I’ll be more than happy watching you enjoy yourself.’ He said as he led her forwards. She broke away from him and went to the horse’s head, letting her sniff her hands before reaching up to scratch her neck. She smiled nervously at him

‘I love her, thank you. What’s her name?’

‘Lily, she’s a thoroughbred, only six years old. One of my stud yards bred her, we’ve been struggling to know what to do with her as she’s too good to sell and too good to let the stable hands ride. If only she was a stallion I would have kept her for myself. But she’ll do for you.’

‘You only ride stallions do you?’ she asked, running her hands down the horse’s legs, which were now still, though tense.

‘I ride a lot and I’m not exactly small. Stallions are stronger, they command more power.’ He said haltingly while he surveyed her actions. ‘What are you doing?’

‘Oh, sorry, I’m just used to checking legs when I look at a horse. Some of the horses my father used to have would have terrible legs, but hers are clean. Can we go for a ride?’ she asked suddenly

‘Now?’ He frowned at her and turned to the older man who was still holding Lily’s head ‘What do you think Alderman?’

‘We don’t have a saddle for the Lady yet sir…’ Alderman began

‘I don’t need a saddle, I can ride bareback.’ Eleanor said, now so desperate to get out and feel the cold air blowing through her hair that her low spirits had completely evaporated. Richard laughed, a deep, resonant rumble. Eleanor was surprised at how this simple sound made her stomach turn.

‘Nash!’ He shouted ‘Put a bridle on Major and bring him into the courtyard.’ He took the reins from Alderman and led Lily into the courtyard. ‘You’re going to ride in that are you?’ he said, gesturing to her nightdress, covered by his long coat.

‘Can you suggest anything better?’ she smirked. He chuckled again.

‘If I knew this was the effect a horse could have on you I would have taken you for a gallop behind me on my stallion the second after we’d been married.’

‘Now _that_ would have been more like it.’ She said, pulling the reins over Lily’s head and gesturing for him to give her a leg up. He took her left leg and swung her up. She hooked her right leg over the horses’ withers and straightened her dress out.

‘Comfortable?’ He asked

‘I’ll be just fine thank you.’ She said, sitting up and gathering the reins in her small hands. Lily jumped forwards as the sound of hooves clattered behind her. Eleanor turned her to find the magnificent grey stallion being walked towards Richard by the stable hand she had seen on her first day at the castle.

‘You don’t want a saddle sir?’ Nash asked as he handed over the horse to his master

‘No, I don’t want to be shown up by my wife do I?’ Richard replied, raising an eyebrow at her and making her giggle. He led the grey to a stone step and hoisted himself onto its back. The horse leapt into a trot as soon as he was on its back and he turned it to the gate ‘Steady Major, are we ready?’ he shouted back to her.  She nodded and nudged her mare on to catch up with him; the sound of the horses’ shoes on the cobbles filling her ears.

 They kept to a dirt track to begin with; Richard would make his horse trot forward so Eleanor would struggle to keep Lily at a steady pace and would start trotting sideways. Eleanor could feel her back tighten beneath her and had to steady her with her voice. Finally Richard turned off the path and they hit grass. Seeing her opportunity Eleanor urged the chestnut into a swift canter and swept past him, laughing at the curses issuing from his mouth.

 It was cold, but the ground was not hard and she felt the confidence to push for faster paces. But it didn’t take long for Richard to catch up. His stallion was a far superior horse, older and well-muscled, but it didn’t put her off. They galloped side by side through the parkland, ducking under branches of the trees dotted throughout. She allowed herself to lean forward and tangle her fingers in Lily’s mane. The wind smacked into her face so that she could hardly breathe and she could feel her fingers going numb with cold, but still she carried on. This, she came to realise, was a very bad idea. The cold and the adrenalin had disguised how weak she was and, as they reached the edge of the home wood and began to slow down, her head started swimming. She tried to sit up straight again, gasping for air, but failed and fell into blackness.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am probably making a mistake posting this when I’m tired AGAIN, so I apologise for any mistakes!

Eleanor awoke but did not open her eyes. She realised she was lying down, probably on a bed by the feel of it. She put her left hand out and felt the covers, but her right hand was being held gently in a long fingered, warm grip. Her eyes snapped open. She was in a room she had not seen before, lying in the middle of a double bed, Richard holding her hand.

‘Good afternoon.’ He said, seeing her eyes take in her surroundings.

‘Afternoon?’ She asked croakily, pulling her hand away from him and trying to sit up on her elbows. Richard rushed to his feet and arranged her pillows behind her so she could lean back comfortably. She raised her hand to rub her forehead, trying to iron out the pain that had sprung up at her movement.

‘What day is it?’ she asked, as loudly as she could, but it still sounded little more than a whisper.

‘It’s Christmas eve. You’ve been out cold since yesterday evening.’ He said softly

‘Oh…did I fall off my horse? I was so tired, I…I hadn’t realised when…when we were riding.’ She said, stumbling over her words.

‘No, I got that. Burke told me you have barely eaten anything since you married me. Tell me, am I really _that_ unkind for you to want to starve yourself to death?’ He said sitting down, his voice as quiet as hers had been.

‘I have hardly seen you since we were married. It would be unjust for me to make an opinion of you when I know so little about you.’

‘Really? I thought you had heard all about me? Your brother had me under the impression that you were well versed in all my wrong doings.’ He said, leaning his elbows on the edge of her bed.

‘I think I’m right in saying that all the stories I have heard about you does not cover half of the person you really are. I may not know you, but I don’t dislike you, if that means _anything_ to you.’ She said. She felt hot and shaky and tried to pull the covers off of herself to cool down. This action made Richard jump up again.

‘What’s wrong? What can I do?’ he said quickly

‘Can I have some water?’ she replied, her eyes finding the jug on her bedside table. He quickly poured her a glass of it, looking slightly more relaxed now she had settled again. The blankets were only covering her feet; her new nightdress bunching slightly under her legs.

 He sat down beside her and handed her the glass of water, but to her dismay, her hands were shaking so hard that he had to take it back from her.

‘Here, let me.’ He said and raised the glass to her mouth, carefully brushing her hair away from her face as she drank. She closed her eyes and lifted a hand to place her fingers on the hand he was holding the glass with. She did not open her eyes when the glass was empty, but she heard him place it back next to the jug.

‘Do you want any more?’ he asked

‘No thank you, I feel better now.’ She sighed, leaning her head back. She felt his hand return to clasp hers and her eyes opened quickly as she realised that he had not moved from his place next to her on the bed. He resumed brushing her hair from her face. He had leaned closer to her and she could see every detail in his face, from the small mark on his brow, to the stubble that had appeared over the last day.

‘A-a-are the horses alright?’ she said, looking into his clear blue eyes. He laughed

‘You mean, _I_ had to carry you home with _no_ saddle, leading an extra _horse_ , _all_ the way from the home wood and all you care about is whether your horse was injured?’

‘I asked about both horses.’ She said bluntly and he laughed again

‘They are both fine. If you were not in such a state I would take you out for a Christmas ride tomorrow.’

‘I’m fine, we can go.’ She said hopefully but he shook his head

‘No.’

‘But…’

‘No, Eleanor, I’m putting my foot down. You are not well enough and I am not going to knowingly risk you.’ He said, his voice deepened but his face remained calm and searching. She nodded

‘Alright, but once I’m better from this?’

‘The second you are recovered we can go out again. I promise.’ He said, resting his palm on her cheek and gradually leaning so that his face was so close to hers that she could feel his breath on her face when he spoke. ‘And you know, it does mean something…it means a lot that you don’t dislike me. I can’t say that many people think the same.’

 But before she could reply, he had closed the distance between them and brushed her lips with his. She hesitated for a moment, then tilted her face upwards to his, allowing him to kiss her properly. He moved so that both his hands could cup her face. She could feel his stubble scrape the skin on her chin and lifted a hand to touch is face, feeling the short hairs prickle her fingertips.

She liked it, how this rough and dangerous man could be so placid and tame. Very unlike the last time she had been kissed, she remembered. That man had known better, but he had been harsh and uncaring to her resistance, not granting her any escape. She shuddered and pulled away at this memory, but found a different set of eyes staring back at her than the ones she had recalled in that particular memory. Richard looked bewildered at her reaction, but she could not summon any words to explain herself and immediately regretted thinking of someone else when she had been quite happy in the arms of her husband.

‘I am sorry, I was not thinking…You are not ready for me to…I apologise.’ Richard said, standing quickly. Eleanor, still incapable of speech, opened her mouth, afraid that his reaction was going to escalate into something frightening. ‘I will go and find Burke, she will be glad to hear you have woken.’ He said curtly and disappeared out of the door. Eleanor fell back against her pillows and groaned loudly.


	9. Chapter 9

Mrs Burke was indeed pleased to find Eleanor awake and sitting up in bed. She had brought some bread and milk with her and Eleanor ate while the older lady made herself busy around the room, keeping up a constant flow of words. Eleanor wasn’t really listening, intent on trying to force down her food when her stomach was churning horribly, until she heard Richard mentioned.

‘I could hardly believe it when the Master came home with you. I thought you were dead, you were so cold. He told me to get a fire ready in this room and he brought you in here. I made him go and get you a new nightdress, the one you were wearing is ruined now, I’m afraid to say.’ Eleanor jumped and the milk nearly spilled from its glass.

‘What? He got me a new nightdress? Then, then did he see me….’ She trailed off

‘No dear, I made him leave the room. He looked angry at having to leave you again, he was bad enough when I told him to fetch the clothes, and I could hear him pacing outside the door.  He didn’t leave you again, once I had let him back in. He then sat by you in that chair and he hasn’t slept a wink, not even when the doctor said you were in no immediate danger…’

 _‘The doctor?!’_ Eleanor exclaimed

‘Yes, the Master sent Mr Nash out for him the moment he rode back with you, which is a small miracle in itself, for I have never known him call for a doctor in all the time that he has lived here. He must have been very worried.’ she paused, pouring another glass of water and placing it within reach from where Eleanor was sitting on the bed. ‘I am surprised that he isn’t here now, perhaps he has gone to rest now that he knows are feeling well.’

‘Yes, perhaps.’ Eleanor said, thinking that there was a more likely reason why he wasn’t present.

‘I should not think you will be able to have much of our Christmas dinner tomorrow, but I shall see you get something better than bread and milk.’ She finished, taking the empty plate and glass, telling Eleanor that she could call her if she needed her and left.

 She was left alone with her thoughts. She found what Mrs Burke had told her very interesting, but she never found out what had happened directly after she had fainted. How, when Richard had guessed what was about to happen and leapt from his horse to catch her before she hit the ground. How he had rubbed her hands in his and held her close to him, trying to get her warm, pleading to her to wake. He was panicking by the time he remembered the horses, and managed to mount the grey with her still in his arms and the reins of the chestnut held tightly in his fist. From there he had urged them to go as fast as they could, keeping Eleanor’s head resting safely against his shoulder.

 If Eleanor had known this she might have understood why he had taken such offense to her pulling back when he had kissed her. He had gone through anguish in bringing her home, only to be sat worrying if she would ever regain consciousness. His relief at seeing her eyes open and hearing her voice say that, despite his previous behaviour, she did not hate him, had only made him want her more. But he had been rebuffed and was now falling into a dark mood, agonising if he had ruined everything.

 Eleanor lay back down again, turning her head to face the door, willing Richard to open it. But he didn’t and after a while she fell into a dreamless sleep.

 

 

 

 

It was night when Eleanor opened her eyes again, but the moon was full and bright and she could see the details in her room clearly. She felt wide awake now and restless. She swung her legs over the edge of her bed and fumbled at her bedside to light the candle in a lamp. She picked it up and shuffled quietly around the room, searching for a source of reading material. There was none, and as her eyes fell on the door she decided that trying to find the library would be a good idea.

 The corridors were much darker than her room had been and her small lamp did not light them sufficiently. She had forgotten that she had no idea where her new room was in relation to the library and that wearing no shoes on the stone floors was making her feet cold. She doubled back on herself several times, nearly walked into a suit of armour twice and in general felt like a fool for leaving her room in the first place. Finally she saw an open door with a beam of amber light shining onto the floor in front of her. She hurried forwards and peering into the room saw that she had found the library, but it was not empty. Richard was sitting in his wing backed chair by the fire, staring broodily into its depths. She knocked on the door, not knowing if he would want her there.

‘What?’ he said darkly, not taking his eyes off the fire.

‘May I come in please sir? I’m bored and would like to find a book to read.’ She said; the sound of her voice making his head snap round. _He must have assumed I was Vernon,_ she thought.

‘Oh, yes, of course.’ He said rigidly. Her heart sank; he was definitely still upset with her, all the warmness of their earlier conversation had gone. He didn’t seem as if he even wanted to look at her. She was careful not to make any noise as she slowly peered at the dusty volumes on the shelves, now and again picking one up to look at it before placing it back on the shelf.

‘What are you looking for?’ Richard’s voice said from right behind her. She squeaked and dropped the lamp but he skilfully caught it before it hit the floor ‘Careful, we don’t want to fire now do we?’ he said, putting the lamp on a nearby table.

‘No…’ she whispered.

‘Are you looking for anything in particular? I can help you find it if you are.’

‘Err, something with big letters or I might get a headache.’ He snorted

‘Right, let me think.’ He said and wandered round eyeing up some titles. He pulled down a very battered old book from a high shelf and handed it to her ‘this should do, I’m afraid it’s a children’s tale, but it will keep your mind occupied.’

‘Dick Wittington?’ she said, opening it carefully ‘Thank you, do you mind if I read it here? My fire is burning low and it’s warmer in here.’ He nodded and returned to his chair. She followed and sat in the chair that had been moved for Robert’s use, but had not been put back. She tucked her feet beside her on the chair, trying to cover them with her nightdress.

‘Did you walk here without shoes?’ Richard asked; he had been watching her since she had come into the firelight.

‘I couldn’t find any shoes in the dark.’ She said

‘Your feet must be freezing, let me put your chair nearer the fire, you must not be cold.’ He said and she jumped up from the chair again. He lifted it closer and signalled that she could sit again. It was better, and she told him so, trying to smile encouragingly at him, but he did not answer it.

 She opened the book and began to read, slowly and haltingly. Unbeknown to her Richard was still watching her. Her chair was closer to the fire than his and he sat back to watch her without worry that she would catch him. Every time she turned a new page her hands would go to her hair and she would run her fingers through it, working out the tangles. He smiled when, every now and again, she would touch her nose as though she was checking it was still there. After an hour he noticed that she was blinking more than usual and within another her head lolled and she fell asleep where she sat.


	10. Chapter 10

The sun had risen when Eleanor woke up. She was lying in her bed wrapped in her blankets. She blinked, unable to remember if her trip to the library was a dream or not. Turning in her bed she noticed that two items had appeared on her bedside table overnight. One was the battered shaped of the book Richard had found for her; the other was a small wrapped box.

 She sat and reached for it, picking it up to look at it. Writing was scrawled on the brown wrapping paper

_‘Eleanor, Merry Christmas, Richard.’_

 Her heart began to race as she carefully ripped the paper and opened the box. A blue gem hanging from a long silver chain was nestled in the velvet lining. She took it out of its casing and held it up to the light. Shaped like a teardrop, its smooth surface gleamed like water as she gazed at it. She put the chain over her head; the stone came to rest far below the neckline of her nightdress. Against the white the dress, the blue stone looked at even more intense colour and reminded her of a pair of startlingly glittering eyes. She frowned to herself, _how did she get back to her room?_ She must have fallen asleep while she was reading, which meant that Richard must have carried her back to her bed. She smiled at the thought, but was torn out of it by the sounds of feet in the corridor outside. She panicked and stuffed the packaging and the book under her blankets, dropping the gem down her dress so that is settled safely between her breasts. She turned to the door just as it opened.

‘Oh you’re awake already! Merry Christmas my dear, I have brought you some butter and jam with your bread today.’ Mrs Burke exclaimed, laying a tray on the spot that the book and necklace had been not long before. ‘I dare say you will be bed bound for several days yet, so I will make sure that you get as well fed as the master.’

‘Thank you Mrs Burke.’ She said, deciding not to tell her about her late night expedition to the library the night before and very glad that she had hidden the book. She didn’t want to have to answer any awkward questions. 

She ate uneasily again and didn’t manage to finish half of what was brought for her. Mrs Burke left her eventually, after trying to get her to eat some more and saying that she still looked pale. The same happened at lunch and at dinner. Eleanor tried to eat as much as possible, but having spent a week eating very little, she couldn’t manage as much as Mrs Burke would have liked.

 She had finished her book by dinner and was stuck sitting in bed with nothing to do. She had a plan, but could not start it until she was sure Mrs Burke would not come back for the rest of the night. She drifted off as the sun was setting and did not wake up until midnight. It had clouded over and there was not light coming from the moon as she almost fell out of bed trying to find her lamp. But she came to realise that it wasn’t there. He couldn’t have brought it back with him. She sighed, grabbing her finished book and stumbling to the door. Her eyes were now getting used to the dark, although she still found it difficult to find her way, as she found out when she walked head first into a wall. She rubbed her nose, feeling glad that no one had been there to witness her blunder. She carried on, and eventually found the amber light that told her she had reached the library.

 She poked her head through the door, seeing Richard sitting in his chair. She knocked. His head jerked round immediately this time.

‘May I come in?’ she asked. He nodded mutely. ‘Thank you for taking me back to my room last night, I’m guessing it was you?’ he took his eyes off of her and looked into the fire

‘Yes, it was me. You are hardly a weight to carry.’ He said

‘And the book?’   

‘I thought you’d be bored to tears up there, it was the least I could do.’ he said dully.

‘I finished it.’ She said, putting it down on a table. He snorted

‘Yes, I thought you might. I suppose you want another?’

‘If you don’t mind sir, but I’m not so fussy over the size of the writing tonight, I think I can read as normal.’ He made a deep humming noise as he rose and browsed the books for her. The sound was mesmerising and she momentarily forgot where she was, her eyes glazing over.

‘My lady?’ he questioned. He was standing in front of her, holding a new book. ‘I am persuaded you would like this.’ He said handing her the book. She didn’t look at it, but stared unblinkingly into his eyes. She thought how well his eyes matched the colour of her necklace, the rich blue she could get lost in. She gulped

‘I’m sure it’ll be great.’ He raised an eyebrow at her and moved away to sit back in his chair. She remained standing for a while, trying to gather her thoughts. She kept glancing at the back of his head, working up the courage to speak.

‘Richard?’ she said at last. He turned his head slowly, surprised that she had used his name voluntarily.

‘Yes?’

‘Thank you for this too.’ She said, pulling the necklace from its hiding place beneath her dress. ‘It’s beautiful.’

‘Well, I couldn’t let you have a Christmas without a single present.’ He said, looking away from her again.

‘The horse was more than enough, especially as I have nothing for you.’

‘I told you I want nothing but to see you happy.’ He muttered irritably. She was taken aback at his tone, but took a deep breath and stepped forward towards him.

‘I am not used to this yet, this _marriage thing_ , I mean. But I could have been forced into spending my life with someone much worse than you. I can’t promise you that I’m _happy_ , not yet, but I’m not _unhappy_. Do you understand?’ she said, now standing by the arm of his chair. He glanced at her and nodded ‘Thank you.’ She said, bending down and kissing him on the cheek, placing a little hand on his shoulder to balance herself. As she pulled away he placed his hand over hers and squeezed it, catching her eye, his lips twitching.

‘Enjoy the book.’

‘I will.’ She smiled, going to the chair she had sat in the night before and opening the book. He watched her again until she nodded off and lifted her into his arms and took back to her room.


	11. Chapter 11

The next few days passed in a similar fashion. Eleanor would spend the days in her room reading or sleeping until night had fallen when she ventured out to the library. She had now memorised the way and did not get lost anymore, her bare feet treading the path confidently without sound. She did not knock on the door anymore, but went to her chair and would sit by the fire with her book. Richard would be there, in the same place, every evening; a new book ready for her on the table.

He didn’t speak, but Eleanor liked him being there, she didn’t feel so lonely. She had not guessed that Richard enjoyed her presence in the room as much as she did. He found her vastly more interesting than any book and struggled to take her eyes off of her once she had sat down. She was eating more now and she was regaining her stamina so that it was a while before she drifted off, but she still did, and he would carry her back to her bed, Mrs Burke still none the wiser.

A week after New Year Eleanor had wandered into the library and only just settled down to read when Richard spoke

‘Burke tells me that you are eating normally now and seem almost as good as new.’ Eleanor closed her newly opened book and twisted in her chair to face him.

‘I am well sir and very bored of bed rest.’

‘I had guessed that, I doubt you would have been here every night if you were happy where you were.’ He paused for a moment; she didn’t know what to say, she felt that even if she was amused by her own room she would have come done to the library just to be near him. But she did not want to tell him that, not just yet.

‘I thought I would keep my promise and take you for a ride tomorrow morning. If you are…’

‘Yes! Oh yes please.’ She said excitedly, clapping her hands together. He laughed

‘You’re a funny little thing, you know that? Any other well-bred woman would _not_ be happy at the prospect of riding for enjoyment in the middle of winter.’

‘Riding was the only way I could truly get away from my step mother. I would spend whole days out on my own riding one of my father’s hunters. I would rip my clothes, talk to the villagers and often come back covered in mud or grass. Mamma would scold me for my behaviour, but I loved it too much to stop.’ He raised his eyebrow

‘You abominable creature.’

‘Does knowing that displease you?’

‘No, I like it.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes, I like a bit of recklessness. You have been quiet since your brothers left, but you were outspoken enough to them. You need to have a bit of spirit to put up with a man like me.’ He sighed and slumped back in his chair.

‘I didn’t think men like _you_ generally married.’

‘We don’t…and I would not have if I had never met you. I thought you might be able to cope with me.’ She blinked at him, what was that supposed to mean?

‘ _I_ can cope with _you_? Can you even cope with _yourself?’_ she snapped

‘No, Eleanor, I cannot. I cannot live with the things I have seen…’

‘Do you think you are the only one that can _suffer?_ That everyone else should put up with you just because you have been to war?!’

‘Going to war is not the reason I am like I am, I cannot explain it to you, but I have not been able to sleep through the night since I came back to England. Not all that go to war live like I did and return.’ He was getting visibly enraged now, his expression had darkened and he was leaning forwards in his chair. She thought this threatening look was one of the reasons behind the talk about him, but she liked it, even though it made her want to run and hide. She decided it was better not to look at him so that she could carry on without his expression striking her down with fear.

‘It does not make everyone else’s hardship less valid. We all have to live with the things that have happened to us.’

‘You think you have suffered then?’

‘You have your secrets, I have mine.’ She said quietly.

‘Wretch.’ He sniffed ‘You have a way of drawing me in. I almost think you like my temper.’

‘I assure you I don’t.’ she said, the almost lie tripping easily off her tongue.

‘Well then, I shall watch myself tomorrow.’ His voice smooth and smug, Eleanor could hear him sit back in his chair. She could feel his eyes on the back of her head now and she didn’t like it. Not while he was in this mood. She stood up

‘I think I shall have an early night if we are riding in the morning.’ She said ‘Good night sir.’

She was disturbed to see that he was now standing and had begun to say

‘I will see you there safe…’

‘No, I will be fine.’ She said curtly, dashing to the door, but he was hot on her heels. She got into the corridor and started to walk, hearing his footsteps behind her.

‘You know you are going the wrong way.’ He said when she stopped at an unfamiliar corner.

‘Oh.’ She said. She had never walked back from the library to her room before, he had always carried her.

‘Please don’t take our little argument personally; I would prefer it if you didn’t wander the castle lost, like some bad spirited ghost.’

‘I am _not_ bad spirited.’

‘Then you do a bloody good impression of it.’ He smirked, she sighed and realised that he was deliberately doing this to get a reaction. She gave in and walked beside him. They were silent right up until they arrived at her door.

‘I apologise for my behaviour, but it was refreshing to see you so animated.’ He said, reaching for her hand. She gave it to him and he kissed it.

‘Good night sir.’ She said, not knowing how to reply.

‘Good night my Lady.’ She retreated into her room and collapsed on her bed. She was confused, frightened and, most worryingly, excited by the events of the evening. How could he do this to her? She both wanted him with her and wanted him as far away as possible. She couldn’t work it out.

At least she was going to ride tomorrow. That was going to help her, she knew it, even if she had to put up with the squirming in her gut at being close to Richard. She buried her face in her pillows, what an awful mess she was in.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've done a bit of editing on this chapter since I posted it, proof reading problems again! haha

The ride the next day did not go well. Richard insisted that they go no faster than a trot which had made Eleanor sulk with disappointment. He had lost his patience on the way home and rode several feet ahead of her saying that if she was not going to make an effort that neither was he. While Eleanor agreed with the sentiment she made no attempt to clear the air. She had not had much sleep, which she blamed whole heartedly on Richard for putting her mind in knots. Other than the company and the lack of speed, she enjoyed being outside. The castle was cold, but somehow stuffy, and she needed to release some energy.

 By the time they got back she was worn out and was ready to admit that he was right to keep them at a slower pace. She untacked Lily, who now had a brand new saddle, and thanked Richard for the ride. He replied coolly that they could do the same the next day if she liked, to which she accepted. And so her life carried on, she would go riding in the morning and sit in the library in the evenings.

They hardly spoke to each other, but the silences were getting less awkward. Time was passing very quickly in this routine, Richard joked that he would soon have to buy more books before Eleanor had read the entire library. But in reality she was getting through books much more slowly now. She had become aware of him watching her and found it very difficult to concentrate on her book when she thought of him. He had noticed her discomfort, but found that as addictive to watch as when she was none the wiser.

 

Months passed quickly and soon it was April. The weather was brightening up and on this day Eleanor had made her way down to the stables on her own. She collected her saddle and put it on Lily’s stable door when she realised that Richard’s grey horse had vanished.

‘Mr Nash? Where is Major, is he alright?’ she asked, surprised to find that the young stable hand was only two stables away saddling up a tall iron grey gelding.

‘Oh yes, Mr Armitage took him out early this morning. I believe there have been some problems at one of his studs in the south, he will be down there some time I recon, so he asked me to take you for your rides.’ Eleanor was disturbed by how much this information upset her. She didn’t know whether it was the fact he had gone or that he had not told her he was going that bothered her most. She tried not to show her disappointment, as Mr Nash was pleasant enough, even if she hoped that this new arrangement was going to be over soon. Mr Nash had nearly finished getting his horse ready so she hurried to continue to get ready to ride.

 

 It was three weeks before she saw Richard again. She had taken to wandering about in the castle of an afternoon, trying to understand where all the corridors led. It was a wet and windy day and she was walking back to her room after exploring the south wing when she heard footsteps ahead of her. Not wanting to be found by Mrs Burke or Vernon, she ducked into an alcove where a rather gruesome gargoyle was housed and hid behind the statue.

She nearly let out a gasp of surprise when she saw neither of the two servants and the footsteps belonged to Richard. He was grumbling under his breath and had obviously just arrived back from the south as he was soaking wet from the ride. He had already removed his coat and was mid pulling his wet shirt off. The material was sticking to his body and she could see his muscles move as he finally managed to free himself. Eleanor felt like her insides were melting and peered round the alcove to watch him further. _Oh, she was not expecting that._ His back was to her now, but it was just as worth looking at. His arms were shapely, that was the only way she could think to describe the curve of tensioned muscle as he grasped his wet clothing. He disappeared round a corner all too quickly and it took a while for her to notice that she had not been breathing properly.

 

The next day Richard was waiting for her in the stables. She had not gone to the library the night before, but stayed in her room to avoid him and her inappropriate thoughts. They set off together, side by side for the first time in months. He talked to her about the stud, and why he had needed to leave in such a hurry.

‘We’ve lost three foals now. The storms they’re having in that area seem to be upsetting the mares so much they’re giving birth too early. One of the mares is dead now too. I’m going to have to leave again tomorrow; I’d like to be there for the next six weeks in case there are any more complications.’

 _‘Six weeks?’_ Eleanor has said, and he frowned at the look of displeased shock that had spread across her face. They had stopped now, at the place they normally turned for home.

‘Yes…I hope that is ok? I didn’t think you would miss me.’

‘But I do.’ she breathed. She was not sure she had heard him as he turned Major about and they both started on their way home.

 

Richard was as good as his word and left the next morning. Eleanor felt depressed already and as the days went on she went off of her food again and almost didn’t want to go out for her daily ride. By the sixth week she had stopped riding and had remained bed bound. She lay in complete silence, listening to the sounds of the castle. Mrs Burke came to bring her food three times a day and complain at her master for neglecting such a delicate thing. Under any other circumstances Eleanor would have argued that she was not delicate, but she could not be bothered.

 Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she heard the sound of hooves on the cobbles outside one evening. She threw herself from the bed and looked through the window. Summer was almost here and the evenings were light enough for her to see an all too familiar horse and rider. She smiled to herself, a plan forming in her mind.

She did not sleep well that night as she felt like her stomach was full of butterflies. She accidently ended up sleeping in late the next day and did not wake up until three o’clock in the afternoon. Mrs Burke had been in and left her some bread and butter, which she shovelled down as she was getting dressed. Her wardrobe having been filled with the new clothes Richard had had made for her, she had an agonising choice of what to wear, but decided against a riding dress in case he did not agree with her plan. She scuttled out of her room and promptly ran into Mrs Burke, who told her that the master had not come out of his bedroom yet this morning. She thanked Mrs Burke for leaving her the food but managed to escape before she could begin a tirade of comments about how he should not behave in such a way. He was obviously in a bad mood. She made her way to the south wing and Richard’s room, feeling more and more nervous with every step she took.

Eleanor paused outside his room for a moment, took a deep breath and bit her lip as she raised her hand to knock on the door.

‘Vernon, I told you I didn’t want to be disturbed today.’ A gruff voice answered. Eleanor’s heart sank at the tone of his voice, she had not yet ventured to talk to him while he was in one of his black moods and she was beginning to regret the decision to start now. She balled her fists, trying to give herself some confidence.

‘It is me my Lord, I am sorry to bother you sir but I wondered if you would accompany me for a ride out on the horses.’ There was a pause in which she began to wonder if he had heard her.

‘Take Nash with you.’ He said eventually. She had expected this answer but she had not anticipated that hearing him say it would make her as cross as it did.

‘No my Lord, I wish to go with _you!’_ there was movement from behind the door now and she heard footsteps approaching quickly. The door was unlocked and he stood in the doorway towering over her, his eyes blazing with anger. She glared back up at him, trying as hard as she could not to blink. She could see his eyes searching her face and his features softened. Raising both hands to his face he rubbed his eyes.

‘Speaking to me in that tone is becoming a bit of a habit my Lady.’ He said, sounding slightly amused. She blinked

‘I apologise sir.’ 

‘No, please don’t, I like it. I shall head down to the stables presently, are you ready?’ He said now smiling, looking at her clothing.

‘No sir, I did not know if you would join me and I would only want to go if you did too.’

‘Ah, I suppose I have not given you any cause to hold out any hope on me. Get ready, I’ll meet you there.’ He said, Eleanor broke into a smile and he laughed. ‘Now _that.’_ He said, cupping her face in his hands ‘I have missed.’

 

Richard was already out in the yard holding the reins of both horses when Eleanor arrived. He bowed to her and gave her a leg up into the saddle. A minute later they were trotting out of the yard and into the open fields. Richard told her more about the stud, they had lost no more horses and all the foals born were in good health so far. He joked with her, telling her about the people he had had dealings with over the last few weeks. She soon noticed that this was the first time they had openly flirted. He seemed like a different man; his laugh was infectious and she giggled all the way to the edge of the home wood.

‘On the other side of the wood there’s a village. The land is mine but the people that live there are so poor I don’t charge rent. They struggle to live as it is. The often come into the wood to hunt rabbits and game birds, so please don’t come in here on without me.’ He said as they rode past the threshold and into the trees.

‘They don’t pay you anything?’ she asked, finding another thing about him that surprised her.

‘No, do you think I should get them to?’

‘I do not! As you say, if they struggle to live you cannot bleed them dry!’ he snorted

‘I thought you’d say that. I have no intention of making them any poorer; you must trust that I’m not.’ She smiled to herself

‘I trust you.’

‘I’m glad to…hear…it…listen, what’s that noise?’ he said stopping his horse. They both strained their ears.

‘It sounds like crying.’ Eleanor said, catching the noise now herself. They were deep in the middle of the wood now and they dismounted to follow the noises.

‘Richard!’ Eleanor said, grabbing his hand quickly as she caught sight of the source. A small blonde girl was kneeling next to a lifeless body of a woman, she was sobbing onto the grass by her head. Eleanor let go of Richard’s hand and Lily’s reins and hurried towards them. She stopped just short, seeing a tiny, blood covered baby curled in the dead woman’s arms _‘Richard!’_ she shouted over her shoulder as she knelt down to put a hand on the girls back. ‘Is this your mother?’ She asked softly. The girl nodded, her face red from tears.

‘How long has she been like this?’ Richard asked from behind her, he had left the horses tethered to a tree behind them. The girl shook her head, dissolving into a fresh wave of tears. It was at that moment when she heard a tiny gurgle come from the two bodies. Eleanor put her hand out to the baby and jumped in surprise when it moved.

‘Richard, it’s alive.’ She said, lifting it from its mother’s side and into her arms. ‘Have you got a knife, the cord needs cutting?’ She said. He pulled out a penknife and soon the baby girl was resting solely in Eleanor’s care. She pushed the arms of her dress over her shoulders to let the baby have more contact with her warm skin. Richard was bending by the mother, and pulled the shawl from under her.

‘Here.’ He said, helping her wrap the tiny person in it ‘she’ll be safer in that. We need to get her to the village, she’ll need feeding.’ Eleanor nodded and bent to take the little girls hand

‘Can you take us to your home? We need to make sure you’re safe.’ The little girl remained silent but stood up and started to lead Eleanor through the trees, turning at every opportunity to look back at where her mother lay. Richard followed a little way behind with the horses, making sure that his wife did not leave his sight.

 Once they reached the outskirts of the village Eleanor had got much attached to the little baby, her gurgling noises were making her smile. By the time they had reached their house and she had seen the extreme state of poverty, she wanted to take her home. A man opened the door to the little girl’s knock and stared blankly at Eleanor.

‘What’s this?’ he said and Eleanor shrank where she stood.

‘Are you this girl’s father?’ she asked timidly.

‘Aye.’

‘Then I am afraid to say that we found your wife dead in the woods sir, we have brought your children home, but were unable to transport her body safely.’ Richard’s voice spoke up. The man’s face twitched, recognising the man that was effectively his landlord.

‘His wife? My _sister?’_ A female voice piped up from inside the house. A blonde woman pushed passed the man in the doorway and the little girl shouted at seeing her; crying profusely.

‘We think she died giving birth…’ Eleanor said to the woman, gesturing to the little bundle in her arms. Her eyes widened and she went to take the baby from her. Eleanor reluctantly handed her over, hearing Richard describe where they had been found to the father. She stepped back to stand beside him, taking Lily’s reins in one hand, Richards hand in the other. He looked down at her, seeing her eyes shining with tears.

‘Don’t worry, they’ll cope.’ He said. She nodded but didn’t believe it. ‘We should get home; it’s starting to rain again.’

 Richard swung her onto Lily’s back and mounted Major. They rode away, unnoticed by the small crowd of people now gathering around the front door, Eleanor desperately trying not to look back.

 

It was raining hard by the time they had crossed the wood. Eleanor got off of Lily, leaning into a nearby tree and started to cry, unable to keep her tears in any longer.

‘Elle?’ Richard said tentatively behind her. She could her him get off of his horse and stand behind her. ‘Elle, you couldn’t have kept her. She wasn’t yours.’

‘I know, I know, it’s not just that…’ she said through her sobs. He was so close to her, her insides clenched at the thought of him standing there, so close, _so close._

‘Can I help?’ he asked, his voice filled with concern. She couldn’t take it any longer.

‘Yes… you can.’ She said, turning round, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling his head down into a rough kiss. He pulled back for a second saying

‘Elle, I…’ however he didn’t finish what he was going to say and pushed her back up against the tree, their lips meeting with passionate force. It felt simultaneously like a second and ten years had passed when they broke apart, breathing heavily.

‘Elle, stay with me tonight. I cannot stand the thought of letting you out of my sight a second longer.’ He murmured into her ear. She nodded in reply, unable to for a moment.

‘Don’t leave me, please.’

‘I won’t, I’ll be here.’

They stood under the tree until the sun had finally disappeared and they rode slowly back in the dark.

 Nash and Alderman were not in the stables when they returned, so they put them away themselves. It was warm, even though it had been raining, and both horses were drying well when they left them. They hurried to the castle doors arm in arm, Eleanor wondering if they would run into Mrs Burke as they went, but the castle seemed empty as they travelled through the corridors.

 

He opened a door and led her though it. He had brought her up to his own room and was now kicking off his boots and removing his jacket and shirt. After removing her own shoes she stood watching him, wringing her hands in the material of her skirt. Her breath was ragged by the time he had thrown his shirt onto the back of a chair. He smiled at her and made his way across the room and took her hands. He placed them on his chest, covering them with his own.

‘You are allowed to, you know. You mustn’t be frightened of me.’ He said, leaving her hands to nervously feel the muscles on his chest and slipped one arm round her waist, the other hand on the back of her head to pull her into a close kiss. His skin was warm and inviting; she could feel the hair on his chest as she more confidently explored his body, her hands now moving to run down his arms. She moaned slightly as she felt his muscles tighten under her palms, she could not believe that a man so much older than her could be in such good physical condition. But she could feel marks on him, the outcome of war, she thought. She was just beginning relax when she felt both of his hands at the back of her blood stained dress. She stiffened and pulled her face back from him.

‘It’s alright.’ He whispered, stroking her back ‘it’s fine, I don’t need to continue if you’re not happy. I can stop.’ She shook her head. ‘Do I still worry you?’

‘No, you don’t, you haven’t for a long time. I just…’ she trailed off

‘You just? Elle, I’m not stupid, I can see something…’

‘I’m not afraid of _you_ , I’m afraid of what you’re going to _do!’_ she cut in angrily ‘I’m not used to _this_.’ She said more calmly ‘I don’t know what you’re expecting of me.’ He raised his eyebrows

‘I don’t expect anything of you. If you’d rather leave it for tonight, I will not hold it against you, but I must insist that you do not return to your room and spend the night in my bed….with me.’

‘No, Richard, you must stop offering me ways to get out. I’m here! _I wanted this!_ I will feel the same no matter how many times we get to this point. What if I’m not what you expected? I don’t want to disappoint you.’ She admitted finally, looking up into his concerned eyes.

‘Elle let me assure you, that that is not going to happen.’ He stepped forward, putting his hands on her hips ‘this is not a make or break situation, I’ll love you whatever you decide.’ This sentence was what gave Eleanor the confidence to lay her hands on his shoulders and encouraged him to carry on where he left off. His hands returned to the back of her dress, trying to undo the wet strings that fastened it. He grunted

‘Elle, I can’t undo it. I’m afraid I’m going to do something you might not like.’ He said, and before she could answer he grabbed either side of the dress and ripped it down the back, petticoats and all. She gasped as it fell to the floor and she found herself standing before him, completely naked. She moved her arms to cover herself, but he grabbed them, making soft hushing noises as he rested them at her side.

‘Leave them here.’ He said, surveying her body, running his hands over her skin. She felt self-conscious, she could feel his eyes fixing on little points; the birthmark on her ribcage, the red marks on her shoulders where her wet dress had rubbed her, the scars dotted on every limb and her hips. He ran his fingers along the particularly long and prominent scar on her left hip.

‘I have one of these.’ He said and unfastened his breaches to reveal a similar mark on himself ‘Although I dare say you received yours a little differently to me.’

‘I…I dare say.’ She stammered

‘You can touch it.’ He said, taking her right hand but she flicked him away and reached out to touch it herself. She stroked it with her thumb.

‘It was deep.’ She mumbled her eyes sweeping his arms, where she had felt the marks before and touched them all in turn ‘there’s more…are you lucky to be alive?’ He chuckled

‘From one or two I suppose I am.’ He leant down to kiss her again, but this time moved swiftly to run his lips along her jawline, down her neck to nibble tenderly at her collar bone. She moaned when she felt his teeth and thought she could sense him smile at her easy reaction. He had moved closer, enveloping her in his arms, she could feel her skin against his. She was starting to feel more bold, he had not shown any sign of dislike at when he had seen and the groans now coming from his mouth definitely didn’t sound displeased. She ran her tongue along jaw, the prickle of his stubble a sharp contrast to the softness of his lips. She giggled and nipped his earlobe when his hands descended further to rub her round bottom. He growled and suddenly he lifted her up, giving her no other choice than to wrap her legs round his hips.

‘I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of standing up today.’ He said smoothly, smirking at her wide eyed expression. The storm raging outside went unnoticed as he lay her down on the bed beneath him. She could feel his heartbeat racing as fast as her own and placed her palm on his chest. His lips left hers again to nuzzle into her neck, his tongue gliding down the pulsating artery in her throat. She was breathing deeply, whimpering on every exhale. She could feel his deep, rich laugh rippling through her body whenever he got a heightened response from her. She leaned her head back into the soft pillows and let him take her to a place she had never been before, her mind consumed in an extreme state of ecstasy.


	13. Chapter 13

‘How did you get this one?’ Eleanor asked, stroking the long scar on Richard’s hip. It was morning and the storm from the night before had blown over to reveal a beautiful summers day. They were laying together, the blankets pushed back to only cover their legs. Eleanor was examining every mark on his body with quiet intrigue while Richard watched her hands progress. He started at her question and raised his eyes to hers.

‘Bayonet, twelve years ago.’ He replied and seeing her look of interest he carried on ‘We had as good as won the battle, the majority of the French infantry had retreated. We were just rounding up those that had chosen to fight and trying to find any survivors of ours. I was bending to check the pulse of my sergeant when one of our own bayonets held by an enemy soldier came out of nowhere and sliced straight into my hip.’ Eleanor opened her mouth in shock and he laughed ‘Poor bastard didn’t know what had hit him when I pulled my sword on him.’

‘You killed him?’

‘Yes…I’ve killed a lot of people, but it doesn’t mean I ever enjoyed it, I was just good at my job. I came back from war whole, but scarred. I’ve lain in a field bodies, hearing people take their last breaths, choking on their own blood. I’ve seen my friends shot down in front of me, been tortured by the enemy for information I would not give, then left for dead.’

‘You _are_ lucky to be alive…’ She whispered ‘I have never heard this before, I’m sure if people knew….’

‘They only hear what they want to hear. I am a cold blooded killer to them and always will be.’ He said frowning ‘Elle, you must forgive me for the things I have done. It is a necessary part of war, I do not want it but the memories are still there and they affect me more than I care to admit. All I want care for now is you.’ Eleanor smiled and nodded. She was content with his explanations and new that it would take more time to unravel all the layers to him. ‘How did you get yours?’ He asked, now reaching out to drum his fingers over her hip.

‘I…I was pushed down a marble staircase…’ He blinked at her

‘Pushed?’ he said darkly, his eyes narrowing ‘Who pushed you? Was it your step mother?’

‘No…it was Alistair Pemberton.’

‘Pemberton ? You mean _Captain_ Pemberton?’

‘Yes, I believe he is a Captain. He’s been in France for the past year and a half.’ Eleanor said softly, looking down at her hands.

‘Why did he hurt you?’ Richard growled, moving closer to her and possessively wrapping one arm around her waist, stroking her hair back with the other hand. Eleanor paused for a moment, trying to think of how to put it to him.

‘Alistair has been asking for my hand on a regular basis since I was sixteen. About three months before he was due to leave for France he offered again and, again, I refused. We were alone on the landing of our London house and he went into the most terrifying rage I have ever seen. He pinned me in a corner and, I suppose he was _trying_ to kiss me, but he just repeatedly bit my lips.’ She said now pulling her lips into her mouth and biting them herself. Seeing that she was getting agitated he hushed to her and ran his thumb across her lips to encourage her to let them go.

‘And that was when he…?’ she shook her head.

‘No, I kicked him in the shins and made a break for it, but he caught my arm and flung me down the staircase. I felt like I was falling forever, a lot of the scars on my arms are from trying to stop myself, but I landed on the last step with all my weight on this hip. There was blood everywhere.  He followed me and told me that if I ever refused him again he would make me sorry, and threatened me with horrible things if I ever told anyone what had just happened.’ Her eyes had been slowly filling with tears as she spoke, and at her last words they spilled down her cheeks. He wiped them away saying

‘Horrible things?’

‘ _Horrible_. I don’t want to repeat them to you.’ She gulped ‘My step mother approves of him very greatly, she would invite him round regularly and he continued to visit right up until he went away. He hinted at our engagement to the extent that mamma thought that he would take me with him to the war. If I ever alluded to it not being true he would wait until we were alone and pull my hair, and slap me or bite me.’ He was frowning at her, stroking her cheek, struggling to keep his anger from boiling over.

‘But he obviously left without you?’

‘Robert would not let me go unless we were married, and told him so the night before he left. He had no time. Richard, the night we were married I was going to warn you of something, I was going to warn you of _him._ If he finds out I have married you then he will be round here in an instant.’

‘Don’t panic yourself my love, I think you can trust me to take care of him.’

‘I don’t want him to hurt you. You have enough scars.’ He snorted

‘Do you really have so little faith in me?’ he said.

‘It’s not that. I just know Alistair too well and when he comes back he’ll be worse than ever.’

‘Maybe it’s more that you do not know me well enough?’ he said, rolling her onto her back and covering her body with his. She winced as he leant on her, his action reminding her that last night had not been entirely pain free. He immediately leapt away.

‘What’s wrong? What have I done?’ he said quickly, his eyes darting over her. She sat up, noticing that her hips felt stiff too.

‘Nothing, I’m alright, I just feel a bit sore.’

‘I’m sorry.’ He said huskily, sitting so that their eyes were level.

‘What for?’ she said putting a hand on his face

‘For hurting you, I never meant to…’

‘I know’ she said, kissing him ‘I know.’ He pulled her closer, keeping her warm in his arms. They both visibly flinched when a knock at the door reminded them that there were other people in the world that them, and that one of them was Mrs Burke.

‘My Lord! Your young lady is not in her bed! I have searched the entire castle and had Vernon check the stables but she is nowhere to be found! I fear she has been driven away by your sullen behaviour! She is a poor delicate young woman and you have as good as ignored her!’ she cried through the door. Eleanor leant back and Richard helped pull the blanket to cover her, the exasperated look on his face making her want to laugh. But she controlled it saying loudly

‘I am here Mrs Burke.’ The door opened unceremoniously and Mrs Burke crossed the threshold, taken aback by the sight that met her eyes.

‘Burke, take that look off of your face.’ Richard barked as a disapproving frown twisted her features. ‘We are married, just because you burst in when we are not yet woken up!’

‘I am sorry sir, it will not happen again. I am glad to find the young lady is safe.’ She sniffed

‘Thank you Mrs Burke.’ Eleanor said as Mrs Burke left.

‘And Burke!’ Richard shouted ‘If my young lady goes missing again I would appreciate being the _first_ person you notify!’

‘As you wish sir.’ Her voice said. The door was shut and they were left alone.

‘I don’t know how I’ve put up with her all these years.’ He said, leaning back and yanking the covers off of her ‘I knew I should have locked the bloody door.’

‘She means well.’

‘She believes that even in marriage a person should be celibate.’ He said seriously

‘Even if they want children? Was she like that in her own marriage?’

‘Would you like me to tell you a secret, my darling?’ she nodded with interest ‘Mrs Burke has never been married.’ Eleanor screwed up her face.

‘But…’

‘She calls herself “Mrs” to seem more proper as a housekeeper. I’ve told her not to be so stupid, but she has insisted; it’s why I call her Burke. I won’t give in; there is nothing wrong with staying unmarried.’

‘This is coming from a married man.’ She said, poking him in the side

‘That signifies nothing; I can still keep my opinion, my delicate little creature.’ He mocked, placing a hand under her chin and tilting her face upwards.

‘Oh please, I am not delicate!’

‘Oh but you are. You are strong and capable, but you’re not beyond getting hurt. I don’t want you to be pushed down any more staircases’

‘That’s good, I don’t want that either.’ She said, he laughed softly and planted his lips on hers, down her jaw and began work on finding the sweet spots on her neck.  His hands were running down her body, gently pulling her closer to him when her gut rumbled.

‘Richard?’ she breathed ‘I’m really hungry.’ He paused and lifted his head

‘For food?’

‘Well….yes?’

‘I’ll call Burke.’ He said, his lips resuming their place on her neck.

‘No, I think she’s annoyed. We should get up.’

‘Get up? Are you mad?’ his voice was muffled in her skin and she chuckled at him.

‘We need to get out of bed at some point, I don’t think I can ride today and I can’t think of a better reason than answering the calls of my stomach.’ He groaned, rolled away from her and off the bed. He went to his dressers and pulled out some clothes, yanking them over his head and onto his limbs.

‘I hadn’t noticed you had such a nice backside.’ She said, watching him thoughtfully. He threw back his head and roared with laughter.

‘You wretch.’

‘It was a compliment.’ She said innocently as he turned to her, still lying where he had left her.

‘I see.’ He looked at the pile of clothing on the floor. ‘I don’t think this is fit for wearing anymore.’ He said nudging it with his foot. He went back to his dresser and pulled out a clean shirt. ‘I will fetch you something of your own. But in case Burke decides to visit, you’ll get less disapproving looks if you are wearing this.’ He threw the shirt at her playfully.

‘You think of everything.’ She said, pulling it over her head.

‘Not everything.’ He said, leaning down and kissing her on the cheek ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’

She fell back onto the pillows. _What a night._


	14. Chapter 14

‘I hope this is ok, I had to rush as Burke was following me.’ Richard said, handing Eleanor a folded dress made of a thin material ‘Honestly, she hasn’t given me an earful like that since my father died. You’d have thought I’d tied you to the bed and tortured you the way she’s been carrying on.’ Eleanor smiled and pulled Richards shirt over her head so she could change.

‘It wasn’t torture.’ She said reaching behind her back to tie the strings that fastened the dress.

‘Here, allow me.’ He said, seeing her struggling and moving behind her to fasten it himself.

‘I can normally manage on my own without any problems, but I can’t seem to this morning.’ She said, feeling his fingers touch her back as he gently threaded the cords together, keeping them fairly loose so as not to hurt her.

‘So, it wasn’t torture? Is that the best you can say?’ he said, as tied a bow at the bottom of her spine. She turned to face him.

‘What do you want me to say?’

‘What you feel?’ he frowned

‘I…I don’t know how to put that into words.’ She said nervously, wringing her dress in her fingers again ‘I don’t have to go back to my own room tonight do I?’

‘You don’t ever have to go back there if you don’t want to.’ He said kindly.

‘I don’t want to. I want to be where you are…does that answer your question?’

‘It’ll do for now.’ He said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out her necklace that she had left on her bedside table.

‘Oh, I forgot to put that back on after my bath yesterday…no, the day before, the days all blur into one.’ She said as he lifted the chain over her head and round her neck, placing the blue stone where it normally came to rest, but on the outside of the dress.

‘Clothes really are wasted on you, you know.’ He sighed, his hands running down to rest on her waist.

‘Flattery will get you nowhere.’ She said, batting his hands away and turning to walk to the door. He followed her and caught her gently before she could open it, wrapping his arms around her middle and pulling her towards him.

‘Do I need flattery? Or will you comply to my wishes as easily as you did last night?’ he whispered in her ear.

‘Only if you comply to mine.’ She replied breathlessly. He let out a low rumble

‘Is this about food again?’

‘At this very moment it is.’ She said, reaching out for the door handle but paused when her hand reached it. ‘Richard, can you do something for me?’

‘Anything.’ He replied, kissing her neck.

‘Can you try not to be too angry with Mrs Burke today? I think she’s just very shocked, I haven’t openly showed how I’ve felt about you to her. I think she fears the worst of you.’ He sighed and let go of her; rubbing his eyes with his hands.

‘It troubles me that one of the people that should know me the best thinks that I would do that to you. Tell me truthfully, I didn’t force you into my bed did I?’ she raised an eyebrow.

‘You do remember what happened last night? You kept offering to stop! I wouldn’t have come here if I didn’t want to.’ She said, taking his hand and squeezing it.

‘You did on our wedding night.’ He wasn’t smiling now; he looked worriedly down at her stunned expression.

‘I…I didn’t know how I felt then.’ She said, the grip on his hand now slackening. ‘I didn’t know if I was allowed…’

‘You went there because you were frightened?’

‘Yes…and no. I _was_ frightened, I was terrified. I _had_ heard a lot about you. I know I said I didn’t care about that, but that night it was all going round in my head. It was too much, I was confused. I thought it was best just to let it happen.’

‘You were going to let me make love to you that night? You were not going to resist? Why? Why would you let me do that?’ he demanded, taking her by the shoulders and gazing straight into her eyes. She gawped at him; her mouth wide open.

‘I said I was confused, you had shown yourself in different lights. You…you were so different from what my family had told me, when you would talk to me anyway. There were times that day when my stomach was turned to knots just because I caught your eye. I didn’t know what to do.’

‘And letting me take advantage of you was your decision?’

‘I didn’t think you were going to give me a choice.’ She stepped back and wriggled from his grip. ‘This conversation is completely irrelevant; your behaviour that night changed a lot of things.’ There was silence. Richard’s face was stormy, his brows were furrowed and was avoiding her eye contact ‘Richard, I wanted to be here last night. I will come back tonight and the night after if you will have me.’

‘Of course I will have you, that was never in question.’ He said stiffly, still looking at the floor. Slightly annoyed by his coolness she placed her hands on either side of his face forcing him to look at her. His frown faded and she felt the tightened muscles in his jaw relax.

‘Let’s not worry about something that never happened. It’s turned out just fine in the end.’ She said as he placed his hands over hers.

‘What have I done in my life to deserve you?’

‘I don’t know; the only thing I care about right now is getting something to eat.’

‘Are you sure? We could just go back to bed?’ he said, wrapping an arm round her waist and closing the gap between them, his face descending to her neck. She sighed and tried to push him away half-heartedly

‘Even if I wasn’t starving hungry, I…I don’t think I can…’ she said nervously. He lifted his face.

‘Oh, my darling, I think I have a little more I can show you than what we covered last night. I’m sure I can find something you’ll enjoy.’ He said, his voice low and enticing. She felt weak at the knees and took a deep breath

‘Tonight, food now.’ She mumbled. He let out a deep groan.

‘Fine. Have it you way.’ He said, allowing her to open the door and taking her arm in his. ‘What would you like to eat?’ he asked as they reached the kitchen. There was nobody there, which surprised Eleanor as she was sure she had heard Mrs Burke mention the cook more than once.

‘I’d really like some jam.’

‘Jam? You could have whatever you want and you ask for Jam?’ he said raising his eyebrow.

‘Have you got a problem with that?’ she joked, looking round at the shelves in the pantry. Only the lower shelves had anything stored on them so it didn’t take her long to find several jars half filled with different flavours of jam. ‘How old are some of these?’ she asked, opening a few to find mould growing in them.

‘God knows, Miss Davis hoards a lot of things.’

‘Miss Davis? Is she the cook? Why isn’t she here?’ Richard nodded and laughed to himself.

‘Poor Miss Davis is so old now that she doesn’t work all day. You have noticed the shelves I take it? She cannot reach anything higher than these. She has worked for my family all her life and I’m damned if I can make her stop working now.’ He paused and muttered ‘and I doubt I could find anyone to replace her anyway.’

‘Will nobody work for you?’ she said, taking a jar of strawberry jam that did not have mould growing in it off of the shelf and moved on to try and find the bread and butter.

‘Some would, but I don’t know if I can trust them. The staff I here now had family that have worked in the castle for generations. They grew up in the grounds, and in Vernon’s case the actual castle. I know I can trust them.’ He said as she managed to find a slab of butter next to what turned out to be the bread bin.

‘Hmm yes, there must be plenty of people that would want to get a job here to rob you or…’

‘Or what?’

‘Kill you.’ She said, making her way out of the pantry, her arms now full with her treasure.

‘You’re really helping with my trust issues.’ He said, sitting down opposite her on an old rustic table while she tore at the loaf of bread and dipped the pieces into the jar.

‘If you really have trust issues you wouldn’t have kept me or my brothers here. What if one of us had killed you?’ she said through a mouthful of food, putting her hand over her mouth so she didn’t spray him with breadcrumbs.

‘I was too angry to think of that.’

‘I noticed.’ She paused ‘What if I found someone? I’m not talking about immediately, but there might be someone dependable that would work for me rather than you.’

‘I don’t want anyone working for you. You’re mine; I’m keeping it that way.’

‘I’m hardly going to be selling myself to pay for them. What will we do without a cook?’

‘You’ll probably just eat bread and jam until the world ends.’ She rolled her eyes at his stubbornness, but decided against arguing the point. There would be time for that another day and she didn’t want another disagreement.

‘I had jam on Christmas morning. Mrs Burke brought me some.’ She said, licking the last of it from her fingers. She looked up at him to find that he was staring at her; leaning his chin on his hands. ‘Am I doing something wrong?’ she asked when he continued to stare.

‘Not at all.’ He replied slowly. Her mouth went dry as she remembered what he had hinted at what he was planning for the evening.

‘I probably need a bath.’ She said, standing up, trying to induce him to stop gazing at her as though she was… ‘Are you not going to have something to eat?’ he took his eyes off of her and smirked.

‘It’s nearly lunchtime; I will have something to eat then, while you take a bath.’

‘That sounds like a good idea.’

‘I will call Burke.’

‘No, no, I’ll find her. Shall I meet you in the library?’ she asked, he nodded in response and left him. She hoped that she would be able to have the time alone to process everything he had said and lose the nerves she had begun to feel after she had finished her breakfast.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read this so far! Updates are a bit slow at the moment, but there is more to come!

Eleanor sank into the hot water in the bath tub with a moan. The warmth instantly acted to sooth any soreness in her body and she leant her head back to soak in the delightful feeling. The door banged open suddenly and Mrs Burke stormed in. She had been quiet when Eleanor had found her to ask if she could have a bath and had answered her in a stiff voice. However, the moment had plainly passed and Mrs Burke was back to her old, bustling self.

‘My dear, more than ever I wish that I had not allowed you to stay in this terrible place. In all my life I never thought this would happen. I hope the water is warm enough for you, I should have thought you would want a bath; I dare say you’re hurting now. He’s heavy handed at the best of times.’ She gushed. Eleanor wrinkled her face at her and raised a hand out of the water to rub the bridge of her nose.

‘You don’t know him like that Mrs Burke. I do hurt, but not out of his unkindness.’ She said, sinking lower under the water.

‘You are too young to know of these things, men have their own agendas, their own needs to fulfil. Do not let him use you.’ Eleanor sat in the bath in silence for a moment, completely stunned.

‘Mrs Burke, I am sorry if I have not kept you up to date with every thought that has gone through my head since I have been here. I have not been forced into anything; I have always had a choice. I did not have to marry; I could still be here with my brothers if I had said no. But I am married. I have my own feelings and my own needs, which I will continue to satisfy with or without your warnings.’ She said strongly, looking the older woman straight in the eye. She looked affronted, shocked that her so called delicate mistress had spoken to her in such a way.

‘I am sorry if I offended you, but the master is a soldier at heart. He was built to kill, not love.’

‘Can you leave me please Mrs Burke? I would rather not be part of this conversation.’ Eleanor said, looking resolutely out of the window across the room. She heard Mrs Burke sniff and exit the room without another word. She suddenly felt the anger that Richard must have felt when they were talking earlier. Nobody knew him the way that she did; nobody that cared for him now in any case. She squirmed. She wanted to get out of the bath and go back to bed like he had suggested. She didn’t care what he wanted to do with her; she just wanted his hands on her again. His gentle, cautious touches. But every minute she spent in the water was easing the aches and she knew she’d be better off staying put. She yawned and stretched, sloshing the water round the bath so that new waves of warmth reached her body.

‘Thank you.’ A low rumbling voice said from the doorway. Her head snapped round. Mrs Burke had not shut the door and Richard was now leaning against its frame. He was smiling slightly, his arms folded.

‘For what?’ she asked quietly. He unfolded his arms and shuffled from foot to foot.

‘Everything.’ He said and wandered across the room towards her. A feeling of self-consciousness crept into her stomach again, but she restrained the impulse to move her arms. He had seen it all anyway, she reminded herself. He knelt by the tub and dipped his fingers into the water.

‘You overheard?’ she asked. He nodded, swishing his fingers in the water.

‘She’s right in many ways. I’m a fighter, not a lover.’

‘There’s nothing that says you can’t be both.’ She said, reaching up to entwine her fingers with his. He smiled again, watching her fingers move with his.

‘I am out of practice with love. Not that I have ever loved anyone like I do you.’

‘I’m glad to hear it.’ She said, smirking. He snorted and leaned in to kiss her, the hand that he had dipped in the bath tilting her chin upwards.

‘Darling.’ He said, parting from her and leaning back on his heels. He was looking at her body in the water. ‘I hope you don’t mind me saying, but have you not been eating while I’ve been away?’ she blinked and shook her head minutely. ‘You will eat all your meals with me now; you need more flesh on those bones.’

‘You make me sound like the turkey you’re fattening for Christmas.’ She joked, but he only smiled lightly.

‘I don’t want you to fade away.’ He murmured, stroking her hair back.

‘I’ve always been thin.’

‘That’s a sad fact.’ He said, his face void of emotion.

‘You were saying earlier that clothes were wasted on me, have you changed your mind?’ she asked warily.

‘I will never change my mind about that. You will always be beautiful, but I want you to be healthy. I wouldn’t be surprised if anybody who saw you as you are would be getting word back to London that I have been mistreating you.’

‘There is always gossip in London.’

‘And there is more than enough about me as it is. Elle, do this for me?’ he said, standing up. He reached down and stroked her cheek. She nodded ‘Good girl. You can find me in the library when you’re finished.’ He said, and with one last smile he exited. She sighed and kicked her legs in the water, trying to ignore sinking feeling in her stomach that had appeared when he left.

 

The next morning Eleanor was to be found alone under the blankets on Richard’s bed. She was drifting in and out of a doze; the previous night playing over and over again in her head.

 She had gone to the library after her bath to find Richard had moved an old chaise lounge where her chair normally sat. He was already sitting in it, browsing a book, when she came in. She’d lain down on it with her head on his lap, letting his stroke her damp hair; his long fingers teasing out any knots one handed as he held the book open with the other. He read out passages from it to her; his voice calming her into a trance like state until Vernon came out to announce that dinner was ready. She had made an effort to eat as well as she could as Richard was watching her closely, but still didn’t manage her full portion. It was the first time she’d eaten in the dining room since the day they had been married. At least she’d made more of an effort with her food on the second attempt.

He’d taken her back to the library when they’d finished and there they stayed talking until the sun had set.

‘I think I have made a good effort at waiting until this evening, do you not think? But my patience is starting to wear thin. May I take you to bed?’ he asked, his voice was as enticing as it had been in the morning. She’d nodded and said

‘Hmm I think so.’

He stood up and leant down to pick her up. She’d thrown her arms round his neck and settled her head on his shoulder for the short walk. He lay her softly on the bed as her heartbeat had started to race. But he had taken his time with her; every move he made was slow, teasing. His lips had worked their way down her body, touching every inch of her skin. She lay on her back, giving herself to his mercy, but jumped when his head had made her way between her legs. He grabbed her hips to hold her still and caught her eye. She was trembling and trying to pull away from his grip.

‘Stay still Elle.’ He’d said, kissing the inside of her thigh ‘I promise you’ll like it.’

She lay her head back down and pressed her hands over his as his face leant down to meet her. Her eyes had rolled back and she moaned, admitting he was right and letting herself enjoy every action he made. But soon she found that she couldn’t take it anymore, his hands had loosened on her hips and she moved away, gulping for air. He’d looked confused until she managed to gasp

‘I need more…please?’ she said, moving onto her knees to kiss him.

 He grabbed her round the waist and pulled her onto his lap. She couldn’t help herself, she’d found herself being taken back to how she’d felt the night before, but with more pleasure and less pain. She clung to him as he helped her move, slowly, so slowly. She’d made no effort to be quiet; she didn’t care, although she thought there was a fair chance that Mrs Burke was listening at the, locked, keyhole. The population of London could have been listening and it wouldn’t have made any difference. She had never felt this good and she was not going to put up with hearing anyone say that the man that made her this happy was as bad as popular opinion.

 

She now smiled and rolled over onto her side, facing the door, waiting for him to come back. With food. She was hungry again so he’d volunteered to fetch some bread and jam. Probably so that he could keep her in bed, she reflected.

But she didn’t mind today.


	16. Chapter 16

It was a hot summer. Very hot. But the castle remained cool, much to Eleanor’s relief. She couldn’t bear the heat and apparently neither could Richard, who, despite the cooler temperature of the castle, would wander round without jacket or shirt. It was certainly not the done thing and if her stepmother had heard about this behaviour she would have been shocked beyond belief. Knowing this simple fact almost made Eleanor like his doing it more; her stepmother’s disapproval would always goad her into rebellion. And however good he would look in his clothes, he always looked better without them.

 As the time passed there was a visible change in her. She was putting on weight, gaining flesh. For the first time in her life she had curves; she could barely recognise herself in the mirror. And she was happier. Happier than she thought was possible for her. She had a life where she was not expected to do anything, she could spend as much time with her horse as she chose and she had a man who worshipped her. The only thing that dampened her spirits was dwelling on what was happening to the baby they had found in the woods. She had brought up the subject with Richard once over dinner, but he had told her to forget about it; the family wouldn’t appreciate them calling round. It had made her upset, but she admitted that he was probably right and didn’t bring it up again.

 Around midsummer Richard had had to go into town to speak with his banker and Eleanor was left at home. She had woken about late morning and wandered down to the kitchen at noon to get herself something to eat. She had met Miss Davis some time before and found her very likeable. She had started trying to help her when she could, feeling sorry for the frail old woman. In general Mrs Burke had not disturbed them when they were in the bedroom, even if she knew that one of them was in another room. Her behaviour had been cool towards Eleanor since their conversation when she was in the bath and this day was no exception. Mrs Burke entered the kitchen as Eleanor was clearing her lunch plate and handed her a letter.

‘This was delivered for you this morning.’ She said curtly. Eleanor took the letter and frowned at it.

‘Me?’ she asked, but Mrs Burke had already turned and left. She was alone in the kitchen. Alone with an unexpected letter. She ripped open the seal and pulled out a folded piece of paper out of the envelope and started to read.

 

_Dear Eleanor,_

_I regret not having written to you sooner, I have been staying with mamma who was struck down by the news of your marriage and have been unable to write. I hope you understand, she refused to let me send any word to you. I have been in London now for a short while and have been making preparations for the summer ball. I would very much like you to be here, mamma is staying away for the event, so I hope you might feel able to come. Your husband is welcome; I do not expect you to come on your own._

_I very much hope that you are well, many people in London have asked after you, and I hope to see you in the next couple of weeks._

_Regards_

_Robert._

 

This was followed by the formal invitation on a separate card. She read it over and over again, reminding herself of her brother’s handwriting and wondering how long it must have taken him to write. He was never very good at putting words together; he used to sit for hours as his writing desk even for the shortest of letters. She felt a pang in her stomach at how much she missed him and began to try and work out how was best to approach Richard about it. She went up to the library; picked up the book she’d been reading and sat down to wait, knowing that he would look for her there. She felt mildly nervous. Richard had been reluctant for her to accompany him off of his land and anywhere that she’d be recognised. She was unsure why, but the only person she really knew in this area was her stepmother, so she never complained about it to him. This was a much bigger step and she wasn’t sure if he was going to be willing to take it.

 She was still sat with her book open on her knees, thinking about all of this when the door of the library opened and Richard peered in.

‘Ah, you’re here.’ He said cheerfully, shutting the door behind him as he walked in. She smiled unconvincingly and stood up, the letter clasped tightly in her hand.

‘How was your meeting?’ she asked. He shrugged and stooped to kiss her.

‘Nothing special. Have you been bored?’ he said, raising an eyebrow at her.

‘No, not really.’ She said and lifted the hand with the letter ‘I……was sent this.’ She said quietly. He took it from her, opening it and reading it quickly, a frown appearing on his face. He looked up from the paper

‘You want to go?’ he questioned, still frowning. She gulped

‘I haven’t seen my brother in ages.’

‘He could have come here to see you.’ He said, his voice had changed; it was low, but there was anger in it, not like the way she was used to him speaking to her.

‘I hardly think he feels welcome. And besides, I don’t think mamma would have allowed it.’ She said, watching his face closely.

‘He’s a grown man; he can make his own decisions.’ He spat

‘He is tied to her as Samuel’s male guardian. He knows that she could have a serious effect on his life if angered her and that never used to take much effort. I dread to think what she was like when she heard I’d married you! I’m just lucky I didn’t have to be around to see it.’ She said. His lifted his hand to his face and rubbed his eyes.

‘It won’t end well.’

‘Honestly Richard! I’ve been thinking about this. I haven’t been seen since I married you; if it continues then people are going to get suspicious. You know what your reputation is, it’s not going to be long before people start thinking you’ve killed me, or…’ but she was cut off. He moved towards her and pushed her back into the bookcase behind her.

‘Why the hell does it matter to them?’ he snarled, grabbing her wrists and slamming them into the books. She let out a small squeak; her eyes wide with shock. He looked at her for a moment, noticing her fearful expression, and loosened his grip on her wrists. His hands moved upwards and rested over hers, still held against the books, but gently now. ‘And why does their opinion matter to you?’ he said softly, leaning his down to rest his forehead against hers.

‘I want people to know I’m happy.’ She whispered, unable to look him in the eye. He sighed and stepped back, releasing her.

‘I’m not going to make you happy like this am I?’ he said gloomily. When she didn’t say anything he took a shaky intake of breath ‘Let me think about it Elle.’ And with that he walked out.

 Eleanor wanted to burst into tears, but swallowed them back. She had known there was a possibility he would react like that, but she felt terrible that her desire for something had made him do it. His actions had reminded her how much stronger he was than her; how easily he could break her. His short temper frequent mood changes were something that had attracted her to him, as he never got truly angry with her. He would bait her and had been cool to her when he thought his affections were unwanted, but until today she had never experienced his anger aimed at her. She stayed in the library alone for the rest of the day, alternating between lying curled up on the window seat, to pacing the room.

 When Vernon finally came to tell her that dinner was ready she was feeling very low and still on the brink of tears. When she reached the dining room she found Richard already sitting down at the head of the table, but he had not started eating. He had a glass of wine held delicately in one hand, but set it down when he saw her approach the table. She sat down and picked up her knife and fork, determined to eat despite how sick she was feeling.

 They ate in silence. She didn’t look up from her food for the entire meal, but she could feel his eyes on her all the time. Food felt dry in her mouth; she couldn’t taste it, just forced it down as quickly as she could. She got up from the table before she had finished her last mouthful and left the room with her eyes firmly averted from him. She heard him slam his knife down on the table and hurried away even more quickly, tears finally spilling down her cheeks.

 She went up staircases and through corridors without much thought over where she was going, but when she eventually stopped she realised that her feet had taken her to their bedroom. Or rather, Richard’s bedroom, as it felt like to her at that moment. She stood outside the door, not wanting to go in now she was here, but unsure of where else to go. She stared ahead of her, hoping that a sign would materialise to tell her what to do. But nothing happened. Nothing except the gradual awareness of footsteps treading the corridor she had come from. She caught movement from the corner of her eye. Reluctantly, she turned to see Richard walking very slowly towards her. Her heart was thumping wildly, she couldn’t read his expression at all; her hands went to the skirt of dress and she wrung it nervously as he got closer. She thought about running, but with legs as long as his she knew she’d have no chance of outrunning him, and he’d be even angrier once he caught her.

‘Stay where you are, don’t move.’ He said, as though he was talking to a frightened animal, trying to persuade her not to move by the gentle tone of his voice.

‘I wasn’t going to.’ She said shakily. He rushed the last few steps and caught her by the arm, like he thought she’d try to run at the last minute. She looked up at him, fresh tears now pouring from her eyes slightly blurring the sight of his guilty expression. She let out a strangled sob and leant into his chest, letting his arms wrap around her.

‘I don’t know what you’re expecting Elle, but I am not going to be welcome there.’ He said, holding her close to him ‘I didn’t think you would have wanted to go, you haven’t told me about anything you’ve missed.’

‘It’s my past. And Robert’s my brother.’

‘You hardly looked like you got along when he was here.’

‘He’s my only real family. I might not like him all the time, but I _always_ love him.’ She said, pulling back and looking up into his eyes.

‘You never talk about him.’ He said kindly, brushing her tear stained face with his index finger. She felt her anger and her fear begin to ebb away and looked down at her hands; embarrassed to look at his face any longer.

‘I didn’t think constantly talking about my brother was something you would have wanted me to do.’

‘Maybe not.’ He said, taking her hands in his and raising them to his lips; her eyes lifting after them. ‘But maybe then I’d have understood why you wanted to go.’

‘You seemed to know what I wanted after you read the letter.’

‘My dear, you would not have given me the letter if you did not want to go, you wouldn’t have given it another thought.’ She nodded. He was right; she could admit that at least.

‘I would still like to go.’ She said.

‘It won’t be how you think it will. You will see how badly marrying me has affected you, I’ll have dragged your reputation down with me, I’ll have ruined you in society.’

‘I don't care for that, but I can’t stay trapped in here forever. I’ll be with you, I’ll be safe.’ He groaned quietly, a sign that he was starting to give in, so she pushed him a little further ‘Please Richard, please, I’ll do anything.’ She begged sing his jaw clench and unclench. He shook his head before saying

‘If this goes badly, which it will, _you_ are going to make it up to me and I am _not_ going to go easy on you.’ He said, his voice deep, but not angry. It was seductive, tempting and made Eleanor flush.

‘I will take the good with the bad sir.’ She gulped and he snorted.

‘But tell me which the good is and which the bad, my Lady?’ he said, lowering his face to hers.

‘I will…I will let you know when I find out.’


	17. Chapter 17

It was three weeks between Eleanor receiving the letter and the date of the ball. It took them to the middle of August. She had written back to Robert quickly to say they would be attending and would arrive the evening before, so a room would need to be made ready. For the most part her relationship with Richard had returned to normal; something she was thankful for, but he was still offish with her when any preparations for the ball were brought up. He’d called for a dress maker to come to the castle and have a new dress made for her, to which she initially objected to, but he had said sternly that if he was to be going to the damn ball he wasn’t having his wife dressed in anything less than the latest in London fashion. He was not going to make himself an easy target. She relented and ended up being more than pleased with her new garment.

 The morning they were set to leave Eleanor went to their room to collect the clothes she was planning to take. Out of all the many wardrobes and drawers around she had enough to store her growing collection of clothes, but Richard still had the majority of the space for his. He had told her that her new gown was hanging in one of his wardrobes on the right hand side of the door, but when she went to find it she realised that he hadn’t said whether it was the right hand side when you were going into the room, or going out. She had stood for a while, thinking over what to do, wondering if she should go and ask again. But she talked herself out of it and went straight to one of the wardrobes and pulled open the door.

 She stopped suddenly in amazement once the contents were revealed to her. Inside was a regimental uniform. Richard’s regimental uniform. Her mouth was slightly open as she stared at it. It looked pristine; its red colour was not faded, the buttons still gleamed in the light coming from the window. She reached forward to touch it; running the material gently through her fingers. But something behind it caught her eye and she stepped closer to peer in and take a better look. Another uniform hung behind the first one, but the second was not in such good condition. She took a sharp intake of breath as she looked at it. It was heavily stained of blood, mostly coming from where there was a round hole on the left shoulder.

‘What are you doing?’ she jumped and turned to the door and the source of the voice, her blood turning cold at the thought of being caught. Richard had a confused frown on his face, but otherwise looked very calm; she relaxed a little and said quietly

‘You told me my dress was in the wardrobe on the right hand side.’ Taking her hands away and putting them rigidly at her side. He let out a small laugh

‘I meant the other right.’ He said, moving to join her facing the open wardrobe. ‘Does it surprise you that I’ve kept them?’ he asked.

‘I don’t really know. It wasn’t a part of you that I’ve ever seen before, I suppose it’s not irrational that you’ve still got them. I just…you’ve only talked about your time in the war once. It’s not something I think about when I look at you. I wasn’t expecting to find them.’ She said, secretly hoping that she would get to hear more of his experiences abroad, particularly about the circumstances surrounding the damage of the second uniform.

‘I suppose not. I never needed to keep them, you know, not really. Once I had left the army there was no hope in my going back.’

‘Did you dislike it that much?’

‘A man can grow tired of a war he never wished to fight.’ He said, lifting a hand to absentmindedly play with a lock of her long hair.

‘I thought you said you were good at your job? And what do you mean by you never wished to fight it? Why did you go?’ she persisted.

‘I _was_ good at my job, but that was down to doing it for too long. Killing people isn’t…I don’t care for it anymore. I didn’t want to join up, my father persuaded me that it would be good for me and bought me a lieutenant’s position.’

‘Lieutenant? But I thought with the amount of money your family is said to have, he would have bought you in as a Captain at least.’ She scowled, trying to piece together what she was being told.

‘He said he was having no son of his become the officer with too much power and too little sense. As it turns out I completely agree with him now, but it was a bugger at the time. I suspect his motives were less innocent; however, he always had a cruel humour towards me.’ His face had become sullen, as though he were thinking of a particularly unpleasant memory. She lifted her hands to cup his face, stroking his cheeks lightly.

‘Why do you say that?’ she said, her heart hurting at the pain she could read on his face.

‘He knew me; he knew how I would fare. I ended up in some dirty fights and that wasn’t even in battle. A future Earl as a Lieutenant; it didn’t help me. Men’s fighting for power isn’t an agreeable atmosphere. It’s dangerous.’

‘Mrs Burke mentioned your father to me once.’ She said thoughtfully, recalling the memory with difficulty.

‘I thought you had learnt not to trust some of the things Burke comes out with.’ Richard said scornfully.

‘I don’t.’ she said quickly. He tilted his head; looking down at her curiously.

‘What did she say?’ He asked. She paused for a moment, thinking hard about the brief conversation she had had with Mrs Burke all those months before.

‘That…that he was worse than you.’ She said apprehensively

‘Well that _is_ true. But am I really so bad, Eleanor?’ he said, putting a finger under her chin to lift it. She looked into his eyes, now glowing with warmth and forgot any of the times she had seen them take on a very different expression.

‘I don’t think so.’ She said, smiling weakly and turned her face back to the wardrobe ‘What’s that?’ she asked, as something shiny that was catching the light took her notice from the floor of the wardrobe. Richard smirked and bowed to pick up a heavy broad bladed sword; the hilt was made of bone and gold with fine detailing of oak leaves engraved into it that continued down the blade as he pulled it from its sheath. She looked at it with interest until he lifted it and pointed it at her, the point resting just under her jaw. His hand was calm and still; no hint of movement was in the blade, all she could feel was the blood pumping through her so strongly that she was aware that her chest was visibly fluttering as she stood. She had never had a sword drawn on her before, it was a strange feeling. She didn’t fear for Richard’s intentions; there was no steely glint in his eyes. He looked calm, if not a little amused and completely in control of himself. But there was still a deadly weapon aimed at her, all it would take was the slightest slip of the blade and it could kill her. So she stood, still as possible, watching Richard’s face.

‘This has been passed down my family for generations. My father told me it was given to one of my forefathers by the king, as a reward for saving his life. People have lost their lives to this blade, men who didn’t deserve to die, we all follow each other blindly into death and destruction, to kill or be killed. You know what I am Elle; tell me, do you trust me?’ he said, moving the sword so the point ran up and down her throat, ticking her delicate skin.

‘Always.’ She said minutely, barley moving her lips. He breathed a soft laugh and drew away the sword, sheathing it and throwing back where it came from. He nodded to the bed.

‘On your back.’ He rumbled. She blinked at him but didn’t move, she was still stuck hopelessly to the same spot.

‘Rich-‘

‘Now.’ He ordered ‘or we will be late setting off.’

 

 

‘What rank were you when you left the army?’ Eleanor asked. It was some time later and they were riding out of the grounds of the castle. Richard had decided not to take the road and for them to ride instead of taking a carriage. Their luggage was to be taken care of by Mr Nash and a groom that Richard had summoned from his closest stud farm. They were taking a slow pace and intending to stop over night at an inn as not to tire the horses. Or themselves, as Eleanor, who had woken for the last few days not feeling herself, willingly admitted. Richard, sitting astride his great grey stallion, started out of a comfortable silence at her question.

‘I was a Major.’ He said thoughtfully, still looking forward, straight between his horses’ ears.

‘Major? You were promoted? Or…’ she continued

‘Yes I was promoted. I became known to Sir Arthur and managed to make a name for myself. It hasn’t helped my life here though, being known as a cold blooded killer does not redeem my family name.’

‘But you…then you outrank Alistair?’ she said quietly, but he heard and his head snapped round.

‘Well, not precisely, I would have done. I renounced my rank when I returned to England.’ He said after a slight pause. ‘Pemberton weighs on your mind doesn’t he?’ she blinked at him stupidly, which was answer enough for him ‘I thought you said you trusted me?’

‘I do.’ she mumbled, truthfully but slightly ashamed that she had given him cause to ask.

‘Then trust me, he will not harm you while I am here.’

‘He won’t give a toss to your dangerous reputation Richard; I think he would rather die than relinquish any hold he had over me.’ She said, feeling mildly distressed as she often did when Alistair crept into her thoughts.

‘Then he shall die and you will be rid of him.’ Richard said bluntly, turning his head to the path again. There was a stuffy silence, Eleanor was unsure if she had made him cross and it took her a moment to decide on what to say next.

‘Can you dance?’ she asked, changing the subject, but not to one that she thought would particularly please him.

‘I can, but I don’t.’ he said stiffly, as though he wanted this conversation to end quickly, but then continued in a hurried voice ‘I hope that I need not say that I would prefer it if you did not stand up with anyone at this ball. I may not wish to dance and put myself in plain sight to be scrutinised, but I don’t think I could bear seeing you stand up with another man either.’

 She frowned at him. It was not in her intention to dance at all. She didn’t like being paraded in front of a crowd with any man that asked, as though they were at a horse auction searching for a worthy mount. She cringed at the thought and was glad that she was already spoken for. It took a few seconds for her to decide if she disliked his assumption of power over her, or whether she liked his protective jealousy. She decided on the latter.

‘I am glad you care.’ She said. His eyes fixed on her again, brows raised in astonishment.

‘You mean we are not going to argue over this?’ he asked. It was now her turn to put up her brows

‘No, I’m not much keen on dancing.’ She said lightly.

‘Then why did you ask?’ he said.

‘It was a question; just because it didn’t lead to anywhere in particular it doesn’t make it any less valid. I was merely interested.’ she defended.

‘And was my answer enough to put these interests at ease?’ he questioned, an amused expression spreading across his face.

‘Perfectly.’ She smiled and, seeing they had reached an open field, nudged Lily forward into a steady canter leaving Richard to catch up.


	18. Chapter 18

It was dusk when they reached the Morton’s London house and Eleanor felt glad to finally dismount from Lily’s back. They had ridden round to the back of the house to avoid being seen in the busy street outside the front. Richard had ridden closer to her on reaching London than he had before and she felt a protectiveness surge in him as he noticed eyes lingering on them.

 As Eleanor’s feet touched the ground she heard the door of the house open and twisted quickly round to see her brother striding towards them, his arms wide in greeting. Forgetting herself completely she ran into them, laughing happily as she wrapped her arms round his chest.

‘It’s so good to see you Ellie. You look so well, so different. I could hardly recognise you, but I know your seat. You finally seem to have a horse that suits your riding.’ Robert said into her hair.

‘It feels like a lifetime since I saw you Bobby.’ She said. They both used the names they had for each other as children and would only tolerate being called them by the other. She made a quick mental note to tell Richard this as soon as she could; she liked the way he said _Elle_ and didn’t want that to change. On this thought she pulled out of the circle of his arms to find her husband, who had relinquished the hold on Majors bridle and had approached them slowly.

 Robert looked up to survey the scene and exclaimed

‘Is that your horse My Lord?’ gesturing to Major and taking in his fine points. Richard looked surprised

‘Yes, he’s mine.’

‘A very nice animal sir. You bred him I suppose?’ Robert asked, knowing about the studs.

‘No, I brought him back from Spain as a yearling colt when I left the war ten years ago.’ Richard said, watching Major being led away ‘I’ve never actually bred from him, even though he’s my finest stallion.’ He stepped forward and shook Robert’s hand tightly. ‘How are you Morton?’

Startled by his friendliness Robert smiled

‘I am very good thank you. But you must tell me what you’ve done to Eleanor, she has never looked so well in her life.’ Robert said, warming to his brother-in-law much more quickly than when they had previously met.

‘I assure you I haven’t done anything.’ Richard said smoothly

‘I’ll not argue with you My Lord, but she’s changed. Our step mother would be most interested in what you’ve done to her, no amount of thrashings or verbal abuse made a bit of difference to Eleanor. What was it she used to call you Ellie?’ Robert said cheerfully, not noticing the subtle change in Richard’s face. Her face reddened slightly

‘Devil child. She used to think I was possessed.’ She said, her happiness at being in London was quickly evaporating. She could sense that there were going to be explanations this evening.

‘That was it. Gosh, I’m glad she’s not here.’ Robert said, a sudden look of discomfort marred his face and he said ‘Eleanor, may I have a quick word with you?’ Eleanor nodded and let Robert lead her away and giving Richard a brief reassuring look.

‘Ellie, I don’t want to pry, but when you sent your reply to me and mentioned that you would be riding here, rather than take a carriage, I took it upon myself to make sure that two rooms were made ready for you. I hope that was the right thing to do?’ Robert said very quickly. Eleanor had to take a moment to digest it.

‘Why does our riding here make you assume that?’ she asked thoughtfully.

‘I had thought, if…if you and he were….were sharing a…bed, then you would be in a more…delicate situation by now.’ Robert stammered, blushing at his own words. ‘I did not think that you would ride if you were with child.’ He rushed. Eleanor was stunned; she didn’t really know how to feel about assumptions made on the more private aspects of her marriage. But there was always talk, at least Robert had a reason to be thinking about it.

‘I…we will only need one room. We only consummated our marriage a short while ago…and I’m not…’ she said nervously, but Robert seemed to understand.

‘Don’t worry. I am not here to pass judgement. Are you happy?’ he said, taking her hand and squeezing it.

‘I am Bobby, I’m really happy. He’s not the man we were told about, nor like he was when you met him before. Please, please try and like him.’ She said anxiously, turning to find Richard, who was talking with Mr Nash. It seemed the carriage with their luggage had arrived before them.

‘I will try. I have had your old room made ready for you; I thought you would like to find some of the possessions you’d like to take back with you. It’s all how you left it.’ Robert said as Eleanor began to walk back to Richard.

‘Yes, thank you. That is a very good idea.’ She said as she took Richards hand. He looked down at her; the disagreeable expression on his face had as good as gone and he smiled affectionately down at her.

‘You look tired my dear.’ He said, lifting a hand to delicately stroke her cheek and bending to lay a gentle kiss on her forehead.

‘I am perfectly fine, just a bit hungry.’ She said, feeling Robert’s eyes watching them and an uncomfortable sensation started to flow through her body.

‘Our evening meal is not for another hour yet, you should rest until then.’ Robert said briskly ‘I take it you haven’t forgotten where your room is?’ Eleanor shook her head ‘Then you go ahead, I’ll have your luggage taken up.’ He turned away to speak to a servant and Eleanor promptly headed for the door into the large building with her hand still firmly grasping Richards’.

 She led him through the kitchen, which was hot and full of bustling people too concerned in their own business to notice them, and out into dark hallway. They didn’t speak until they reached the marble staircase and she felt Richard’s hand tighten around hers. She looked up at him to see him eyeing the steps warily. She knew precisely what he was thinking and the memory of hitting the cool stone became painfully real to her.

‘It’s alright Richard; I stayed here for a long enough time after it happened. I don’t want to let it bother me.’ She said reassuringly, but his eyes hadn’t left the hard stone in front of him.

‘You could have been killed. If you’d landed on your head…’

‘I didn’t.’ she interrupted.

‘But you could have! God help me, if I ever meet that _man_ I will not be responsible for my actions.’ He said bitterly and allowed her to continue their journey through the house.

 Eleanor’s bed chamber was as far removed from the main part of the house as possible. It was a dark space, darkly furnished with a small fire that did not sufficiently heat the room. The windows were narrow and overlooked the street from three floors above the ground.

‘ _This_ is where you sleep?’ Richard said disgustedly.

‘Yes. Mamma did not like me near her, so she made me take this room.’ She said, looking round her old room as if she was seeing it for the first time. ‘It’s horrible isn’t it?’ he made a noise of accent as he shut the door.

‘No wonder you were such a wilted little thing.’ He said as he wrapped his arms round her waist from behind and drew her to him. ‘What did your brother mean by “thrashings”’

 She gulped, even though she had expected the question she wasn’t prepared and needed a moment to gather a reasonably coherent answer.

‘When…whenever I did something she disliked, depending on what mood she was in, I was either screamed at or…’ she paused again, causing Richard to prompt

‘Or?’

‘She had a thick leather belt she used…’ she said quietly, stopping when she felt the muscles in his chest and arms tense. ‘It used to bruise me so I couldn’t ride.’

‘She wasn’t only hurting you, but denying you your source of pleasure.’ He said, holding onto her even tighter. ‘No wonder you were not completely repelled at the thought of marrying me, was I a better option than her?’

‘Honestly, I didn’t think about that at the time. But you are definitely a better option than her, by miles and miles.’ She said, turning round and resting her head on his chest.

‘I think you should get some sleep, even if it’s only for half an hour. I shouldn’t have made you ride for so long, particularly when you didn’t eat any breakfast this morning.’ He said, pulling away and inspecting the bed. ‘At least it’s been well aired.’

‘It’s more comfortable than it looks.’ She said, pulling off her shoes and heading straight to the bed.

‘Wait, where do you think you’re going wearing that?’ he said, gesturing at her riding dress.

‘All our other clothes haven’t been brought up yet.’ She said innocently as he returned to stand behind her and began undoing the bodice, then the corset; removing every piece of clothing until she wore nothing but the necklace he’d given her for Christmas.

‘I thought you said I needed to sleep?’ she said suspiciously. She’d got quite used to him seeing her like this now, and didn’t shrink away from his gaze.

‘I wasn’t even considering _that_. In fact I thought it proper if we didn’t make love at all while we were here. But you will sleep better when not wearing any uncomfortable clothing.’ He said, placing an arm round her waist and directing her to where he had folded the covers back for her to get in. She had to admit he was right, when she was lying on her side, enveloped in pillows with nothing to irritate her skin or tired muscles, she fell asleep without another moments thought.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who are continuing to read!
> 
> I think this is a really boring chapter, but it fills in a gap (again!)

Eleanor’s respite was shorter than expected however. She woke after about twenty minutes to the grumbling of her empty stomach and the sound of hushed voices coming from the door. She reluctantly opened her eyes to see Richard in his shirt sleeves, speaking to someone just outside of the room. She guessed it was probably Mr Nash as their luggage was placed just behind where Richard was standing. He looked worn down, more so than when she’d fallen asleep. In fact, she remembered thinking how good he was looking after the journey when they’d arrived. What had brought about this change in such a short time?

 He nodded to Mr Nash and closed the door, leaning his head on it when it had shut. He took a deep breath and looked up, pushing himself away from the door. She sat up in the bed, pulling the covers up with her, her heart fluttering. He blinked, noticing she was awake, and purposefully walked towards her. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her forwards to kiss her deeply. His hands pulled the covers down and ran over her naked skin. Sighing she reached up and tangled her fingers in his hair.

‘I’m sorry darling, did I wake you?’ he murmured against her lips.

‘No.’ she said, kissing him reassuringly ‘I think my stomach did.’

‘Ah, I’m glad it wasn’t me. Dinner probably be ready if we start to get dressed now. You need to tell me what you want to wear.’ He said, standing up and making his way to the luggage, trying to find what he was looking for.

‘I forgot how much I hate dressing for dinner.’ She groaned, slumping back onto the pillows. ‘My step mother would be horrified to find we don’t when we’re at home.’

‘Why does that not surprise me? How is this one?’ he said, holding up a navy blue dress that she remembered being comfortable but looking smart.

‘Perfect.’ She said, dragging her legs to hang over the edge of the bed and Richard helped her up and started to pass her layers to put on; helping her when needed. He had been insistent on not allowing a maid to help her dress, saying that they managed perfectly well without one at home. She had not argued; she liked the feeling of his fingers gently tying chords or smoothing out creases in the material. It was most improper but what they did alone was nobody’s business.

‘Sit back down while I get ready.’ He whispered, pulling her hair so it lay on her back and kissing her exposed neck. She obeyed and sat down. Her legs felt sore from the riding and she did feel tired. An undisturbed night’s sleep would do her the world of good, but there was no hope of that while she was hungry. She watched Richard dress himself; trying to find where he had put various items. She noticed there was still an unpleasant look lingering on his features.

‘What happened while I was asleep?’ she asked when his back was turned. She saw his frame stiffen and a hand flew to brush the lose stands of hair back from his face. ‘I know something’s wrong…’

He nodded, turning to face her and, on seeing her dejected expression, joined her perched on the edge of the bed.

‘Apparently the whole of London knows I’m - _we’re_ here.’ he said, taking her hand and holding it in his.

‘Oh.’ She responded stupidly.

‘Which means that we’ll be sought out; there’ll be no hope in our getting through this quietly. We might as well have ridden through the middle of London with the town crier announcing us.’ He said bitterly.

‘I suppose we should have expected it.’ She said. ‘We’re not immune to gossip and anything that might have been over heard of you coming back into town is going to spread.’

He raised his eyebrows and nodded, but the unpleasant look on his face didn’t depart.

‘Do you want to go home?’ she asked quietly, not really wanting to hear the answer. She knew that he _did_ want to go home; he never wanted to come in the first place. He gripped her hand tighter and attempted a small smile, nothing like the broad grin he had taken to wearing when they were together at home, but he was making an effort and she had to remember that.

‘No, I don’t. _You_ want to be here, I can see that. I’ve kept you hidden away for too long, you were right. I just didn’t want to lose you to the lure of the outside world.’ He said in a rush, his cheeks reddening.

‘Why would you think that?’

‘Because up until a couple of months ago I thought you were repelled by the thought of kissing me. I thought if I allowed you to leave you wouldn’t come back. I’ve made so many mistakes since we married, I couldn’t let losing you become one of them.’ He said, the kindness returning to his eyes as he began to run his fingers through her hair.

‘I’ve never been _repelled_ by the thought of kissing you. I think…you’re referring to when…on Christmas Eve, when I woke up after the fall…I was confused. The last person that kissed me was Alistair. It threw me.’ she said, grabbing the hand that was moving through her hair and hanging onto his fingers tightly. A look of comprehension spread over his face and he smiled properly now.

‘Ah, I see. Understandable. I wish we’d discussed this before; I would have taken you with me to the studs. We could have spent so much more time together.’ He said thoughtfully. Her face brightened.

‘I could have seen all the foals!’ she said excitedly, then realised that she’d missed that opportunity this year.

‘Never mind me Elle, you’re happy so long as you get to see the bloody horses!’ he teased and stood up to finish dressing.

‘But they’re so lovely Richard, with their tiny hooves and noses.’ She said enthusiastically.

‘I wouldn’t have let you bring one home.’ He said, smirking when she scowled at him.

‘You’re so mean.’ She said, getting up when she saw him button his jacket.

‘I’m sorry sweetheart, can you forgive me?’ he said as he opened the door for them to exit.

‘I will forgive you for not letting me bring back a foal, if you forgive me for whatever happens tomorrow night.’ She negotiated. He took her arm and threaded it through his.

‘Ah, now, I thought we had already bargained your forfeit for that.’ He said quietly, as though the walls were listening ‘You will have to think of something else.’

‘I can’t think of anything right now.’ She admitted after a short pause as they made their way to the main part of the house.

‘I shall try not to disgrace myself too badly over the next few days to change that.’

 

Eleanor led Richard to the room that she had always called the sun room as a child. It was the place Robert would tend to go when she had lived there before and she decided that looking for him there first was best. She felt pleased with herself when she opened the door to the room to find Robert sitting at his writing desk, surrounded by the same landscape paintings of the sun setting or rising as had been there when she’d left it. On seeing them Robert stood up to meet them.

‘Ellie, I meant to say to you earlier, Sam has stayed with mamma.’ He said abruptly without a word of greeting. Eleanor’s face didn’t change. She hadn’t expected her young half-brother to be there, after the fiasco that occurred the last time mamma had trusted Robert with Samuel she was not going to be letting him go anywhere under Robert’s supervision.

‘I didn’t think he’d be here. Has he said anything about…’ she started, but Robert shook his head.

‘No, he hasn’t said a lot since we left you. I think mamma likes it, but he won’t cut a figure in society. He cries whenever you are mentioned. Coming to London would have done him the world of good, not to mention being able to see you; it might have perked him up a bit.’ Robert said, wrinkling his nose. Eleanor’s shoulders sagged as she thought of Sam stuck in the company of such a horrible woman. Eleanor was ten when he was born and had taken a lively interest in his care. Her stepmother hated the sound of his screaming and would keep away from him as much as possible, meaning that Eleanor was unlikely to be disturbed when she was with him. But the time she spent with him had given her an unconditional love of baby things. It was why her interest was taken with Richard’s talk of foals and why she would still silently contemplate the fate of the baby they found in the home wood.

‘You can’t blame him Bobby.’ She said quietly. She felt Richard’s muscles tense beside her and rushed forward with a more detailed explanation. ‘It’s mamma’s fault. You know how she would treat him, she crushed his confidence!’ Robert nodded in agreement.

‘Oh, I know _that_. Realistically he didn’t stand a chance. I’d hoped to bring him down here when I returned; I thought a break from her would help him. But there was no luck.’ He said before turning to Richard ‘I’m sorry for the family chatter my Lord, it was a regular topic of conversation for us.’

‘I can easily understand that. Your step mother has cropped up in our conversations more than once.’ He replied, sliding his arm around Eleanor’s waist comfortingly.

‘Indeed?’ Robert said with interest ‘She really hated Eleanor. She could put up with me and fretted over Sam when it suited her, but Ellie…’

‘I don’t think we need to talk any further about this.’ Richard said quickly as he felt he recoil and lean closer to him. A look of understanding spread over Roberts face and he said

‘I see. Sorry Ellie, you must be trying to put all of that behind you.’

 At that moment there was a knock on the door and a stout butler Eleanor didn’t recognise shuffled in and announced that dinner would be ready presently if they were ready. Robert strode ahead of them down the corridor and allowed them a moment of private talk.

‘So, Ellie…’ Richard started, sounding faintly amused. Eleanor poked him in the side.

‘Don’t call me that! It makes me feel like a child.’ She hissed. He raised his eyebrows at her. ‘I don’t want to feel like a child when I’m with you.’ She said shyly. He growled and she looked up to see a familiar look of wanting in his eyes.

‘No, you don’t, not when I made you a woman.’ He said in such enticing voice that she almost forgot the impropriety of his words as her whole body tingled. But she had noticed his words and poked him in the side again.

‘Richard! Don’t let Robert hear anything like that, or he’ll be slandering you to everyone that walks through the front door tomorrow!’

 

The meal went well. Richard and Robert talked happily over a bottle of fine wine that Richard had packed in the carriage, but Robert remained dutifully sober. Eleanor couldn’t believe how easily they seemed to get on together and couldn’t work out if either of them were making an effort to behave or whether they had struck up an honest friendship. She piped up when she could and laughed along with them, but otherwise allowed them to continue as they were.

 When they finally retired to bed she felt like she could hardly keep her eyes open. She managed to find a nightdress and, with some assistance from Richard, managed to change out of her evening dress and into her comfortable night attire. She collapsed into bed and was quickly joined by her husband, who wrapped his arms around her as she pressed herself close to his warm body. She sighed contentedly and slept.


	20. Chapter 20

It was well after noon when Eleanor woke up. She woke to the feeling of being swayed in a carriage but opened her eyes to find that she was lying in her own bed in London. She took a shaky intake of breath and pushed the covers off of her, vaguely noticing that she was alone the bed as she tried to rid herself of the feeling of nausea. She took some deep breaths to steady herself and closed her eyes; trying to forget the cold sweat covering her that had her shivering. Five minutes later she felt composed enough to get a glass of water. Ten minutes after that Richard walked in, finding her sitting up and looking a touch pale, but not out of the ordinary. He sat a tray of bread and jam on the bedside table next to her and leant in for a gentle kiss.

‘Good morning my love. How did you sleep?’ he asked, stroking the hair from her face and over her shoulders.

‘Excellently, you?’ she replied, a small smile curving her lips, remembering his apparent disgust at being housed in the dismal room.

‘Like a log, this bed is a godsend.’ He said sitting and bouncing it slightly as he tested its give. ‘I thought you might be hungry when you woke up so I went to get you something to eat.’

She looked at the tray of food and wrinkled her nose.

‘Richard, I’m really not hungry, I’m not feeling as well as normal. I’m sorry but I’d rather skip breakfast.’ She said guiltily. He was never the keenest to get out of bed, the thought of him doing it for her sake when it was unneeded made her heart sink. His face fell at her words and he looked her over with a critical eye.

‘I want you to ride back home in the carriage when we leave. I don’t want to make you unwell by forcing you to ride all the way home.’ He said seriously.

‘You wouldn’t be forcing me, I want to ride. I enjoyed the journey here.’ she pleaded, grabbing his hand and holding it tightly. She didn’t want to spend two days travelling in a carriage; the thought of missing a ride was one thing. Travelling separately to Richard was desperately unappealing.

‘It’s made you ill. You’re not used to this kind of travelling; it was unfair of me to suggest it.’

‘Richard…’

‘No Elle, how many times have I told you, you are the most important thing in my life? It is my job is to keep you safe, keep you healthy. I feel like I’ve failed you.’ He said it in such a dejected voice that a sickly pain crept into her stomach. She squeezed his hand tighter before she let it go and leant forwards to tuck her head into the crook of his neck, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her into him.

‘You haven’t failed me. I’m just feeling a bit under the weather. It has nothing to do with the riding; I was feeling off before we left. And it’s not exactly terrible now, I’m just not hungry. I’ve never been so well cared for in all my life, don’t put this kind of pressure on yourself, you don’t deserve it.’ She whispered into his skin.

‘I love you Elle.’ He breathed

‘I know Richard, I love you too.’ She said back, moving her head back and looking into his eyes.  A pained expression, somewhere between passion and remorse, covered his face and his eyes were uncharacteristically glassy. She’d never seen him look like that and it dawned on her how much this trip was straining him. She rested her forehead on his.

‘We can go home today, now.’ She said quietly. He shook his head.

‘We’re here now. People know we’re here and will know we didn’t brave it out.’

‘I’m so sorry Richard, so sorry. I should have listened to you, this was such a bad idea.’ She said, digging her fingers into his shoulder and feeling sorry for herself. Sorry for him.

‘It wasn’t a bad idea. Not a completely bad idea anyway. Your brother is a good man, I’ve found a friend in him. He’s said he’ll visit us at home.’ Richard said evenly, regaining his normality much faster than she seemed to.

‘Really?’ she asked hopefully. Instead of an answer he bent to her lips and gently took her mind off the subject.

 

 ‘Richard? Can you tie me up?’ Eleanor asked, walking round the bed to present her back and untied dress to him, her long hair draped over a shoulder and out of the way. People had already started to arrive at the house, but Richard had decided he didn’t want to show his face too early, so they were getting ready at a leisurely pace. She felt his fingers slowly work their way down her back, tying the dark blue gown far more neatly than she could ever do.

‘You look perfect Elle. Absolutely beautiful.’ He said, turning her round, his eyes raking over her body. She looked back at him, taking in his mostly black clothing, which was a little boring, but suited him down to the ground.

‘You don’t look too bad yourself. Do you like my hair? You’ve never seen it like this before and you didn’t make a comment while it was being done.’ She asked, reaching round and feeling the now ordered curls that fell down her back. He had been in the room while her old ladies maid had tidied her mass of hair into something presentable, but he’d made no remark. Just sat in a chair, his legs sprawled out in front of him, reading a book and scowling.

 Now he took one of the shiny dark curls and wrapped it round his index finger.

‘It’s a nice change, and you certainly couldn’t have gone into a ball room with your hair as it was. But I like it wild. And you are not to have it cut.’ He warned. It meant he hadn’t been concentrating on the book but listening to the conversation between her and Norah, the maid. Norah, a lady past middle age, had been chastising her for letting her hair grow so long; saying it was far too long for fashion. She had always kept it longer than average but it had grown a lot in the last few months and now fell down to her hips.

‘You heard that then?’ she asked, knowing the answer but wanting to hear him say it.

‘It was difficult not to. Her voice carries like I would not believe for such a little woman. But you are not to have it cut.’ He said, mock sternly, a smirk playing on his lips.

‘Why?’ she asked playfully, putting her hands on his chest and pressing her body against his. She felt him take a slight intake of breath. It wasn’t the time to be teasing him; it took so little to get him into bed. She had him wrapped round her little finger in that respect, but they had to be leaving soon.

‘When…in the morning…you wake up…it’s everywhere, surrounding you, and me. Then you sit up and it covers you. You look feral and earthly and natural. Like you should be teasing me with the things that I can’t quite see, but you’re not. I can’t believe you’re in my bed, that you let me love you.’ He said, the light-hearted atmosphere disappearing with every word he said. She sighed and leant her head into his chest.

‘I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.’ She murmured ‘but unfortunately we should be making a move now. I told Robert we wouldn’t be the last people to arrive.’

‘Alright, I’m ready.’ He said and took a step away from her and towards the door where he waited for her to check her reflection in the mirror before joining him. She threaded her arm through his as they began the steady walk down to ground floors.

 Eleanor’s calm disappeared as they reached the bottom on the marble staircase and she tugged Richard into a side room muttering

‘Quick, I don’t want to walk in with them.’

Richard looked confused but complied and they stood by the door in the empty, candle lit room listening to the conversation taking place outside in the hall.

‘I don’t see what Pemberton ever saw in her anyway, he chased her for so long only to be rebuffed at every turn. She should have married him when she got the chance, she hasn’t done any better now has she?’ a woman’s voice proclaimed defiantly. ‘And when it comes to that, what did that _man_ see in her to want to shackle himself to her? An odd couple without a doubt. The man is supposed to be better looking than most, wealthy as the day is long, evil from head to foot and takes a wife that has nothing advantageous to offer him.’

‘A healthy womb, Lady Redgrave.’ A mocking female voice said before erupting into a shrieking bout of laughter. Eleanor felt sick again as the blood drained from her face.

‘Cannot be, they have been married for long enough now, he’ll have been bedding her from the first and yet there has been no whisper of a child. She must be barren. Such a shame, at only one and twenty.’ The previous woman said. There were no footsteps now, so Eleanor assumed that they had stopped in the hall to finish this conversation. She could feel Richard’s muscles stiffen beside her and knew she didn’t want to hear anymore.

‘Now my dear Ladies.’ A man’s voice interrupted ‘you are being most unfair. The young lady is said to have changed greatly. I have not seen for myself, but there has been talk from people who did see her ride into town that she is now a beauty.’

‘Lord Redgrave.’ The first woman’s voice intoned dangerously ‘That is not the point of the matter. You know full well how she looked when she left London, a week later she is betrothed. She did not change in a week. He no doubt ensnared her, seeing her as weak enough to force what he wanted from her.’

‘That young woman was never one to be forced. You are in her step mother’s council, you know this.’ The man said calmly

‘Her step mother is a poor frail lady. That girl deserved worse than she gave her, and I dare say she gets it now under the bedcovers of that brute. I wonder at her brother, allowing her to marry such a monster. I am glad I never had a daughter or maybe he would have taken her.’ The woman said, starting to turn hysterical. She felt Richard’s hands ball into fists and ran her hand down his arm to ply his fingers apart and grip his hand firmly.

‘No more of this Lady Redgrave. You will make a scene. Compose yourself, we are about to be received.’ The man said and their footsteps were heard walking towards the dining hall.

 Eleanor slowly raised her head to look at Richard’s face and she flinched. His jaw was set angrily, his shoulders tight and his eyes black with rage.

‘Richard? Look at me, please, look at me.’ she squeaked. His eyes fell down to hers, the lines around them painfully noticeable ‘don’t listen to them. I know it was shock hearing all of that, but Lady Redgrave is well known for never having reliable information but gossiping over it all the same. Nobody will take any notice of her. I love you, I’m happy being with you, which is more than I could say if I had married her worthless son. We need to go out there and prove everyone that she was mistaken.’ She said forcefully. His face changed, he no longer looked angry but curious.

‘Her son? Redgrave…Thomas Redgrave?’ he asked. She nodded, remembering the endless hours she’d been forced to spend in his company as a teenager ‘What’s he got to do with you?’

‘You heard, his mother is friends with my stepmother. We were forced to spend time with each other.’ She paused for a second and then rushed to continue ‘and he asked me to marry him.’

‘Another one? You said no I assume?’ he said disapprovingly

‘Of course I did. Thomas is an introvert and painfully shy, I think I’m the only young female that he had spoken to at the time. That’s the only explanation I have for his proposal. We were not well matched.’ She said getting tired of this conversation. It was so similar to others they had had recently. Bringing her to London seemed to bring out an insecure element to him. She wondered whether he thought she was going to run away while they were here.

‘Will you stay with me when we’re in there? I don’t want to be cornered by Lady Redgrave on my own.’ She asked him worriedly. He laughed nervously.

‘I don’t want to get cornered by her either, but we’ll stay together.’ He said, reaching for the door handle and letting the light from the hall into the room. He offered her his arm and they walked out like they hadn’t just had a brief detour.  


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, finally I have done another chapter! I had not realised how long it’s been since the last one, I’m sorry, the time has flown! 
> 
> Thank you for your comment, kudos and for reading!

‘The Earl and Countess of Leicester.’ The elderly butler announced as they were ushered into the ballroom. Eleanor flinched and looked up at Richard in surprise.

‘Am I a Countess?’ she hissed. He looked down with a similar look of surprise on his face as they continued to walk at a slow pace through the room. It was still fairly early in the night and she knew that only half of the guests that were expected had yet arrived.

‘Yes. I am an Earl, so you are my Countess. I thought you would have known that.’ He said quietly, trying to keep anyone from hearing.

‘I suppose I did know…I knew you were an Earl. But I didn’t put the two together. It’s funny isn’t it? How many people would marry an Earl for the title alone and I didn’t put the two things together.’

‘Not many people would marry me, Earl or not.’ He muttered, leading her towards a quiet table at the side of the room. She rolled her eyes but allowed him to walk away from the crowd.

‘Ellie? Ellie Morton?’ I shrill voice exclaimed from a few meters away. Eleanor turned round, trying to find the source of the voice when her eyes landed on a once familiar sight.

‘Charlotte!’ Eleanor cried as she took off towards a young woman of her own age, dragging Richard along by the arm. She let go of him at the last moment to embrace Charlotte and then step back to look at her. They had last seen each other when they were ten years old and Charlotte’s family had moved to Scotland, but Charlotte was instantly recognisable. Her golden hair and blue eyes made her stand out enough, but she was abnormally tall. Even as a child she had towered over Eleanor. They were polar opposites in appearance, but were inseparable for a time.

‘What are you doing here? I thought you were still in Scotland.’ Eleanor said as she felt Richard’s presence behind her.

‘Father sent me to London to be brought out properly. I have been here since May.’ Charlotte said sweetly, but her eyes moved from Eleanor to the man behind her. ‘I hoped to see you when I arrived in London but…’ her eyes flickered to Eleanor and back again, biting her lip.

Eleanor lifted her head to look at Richard, who stood patiently waiting to be introduced.

‘Charlotte, let me introduce my husband. Richard, I mean, the Earl of Leicester. Richard, this is Miss Charlotte Sinclair, we were friends as children. I think that’s a proper introduction, it’s all a bit confusing.’ Eleanor said and Charlotte laughed.

‘Oh Ellie, you haven’t changed. You’re step mother would turn in her grave.’

‘My step mother has not reached the grave yet, the miserable witch. And when she does she’ll probably rise again.’ Eleanor muttered. Charlotte laughed again and Eleanor glanced up at Richard to see him trying to hide a smirk.

‘I’m glad you were able to get away from her. Oh Ellie, such terrible things have been said, but you look so well I cannot believe them.’ Charlotte said emphatically. ‘I have been so worried for you.’

‘Try not to listen to what has been said to you about me. I am very happy. Richard is the perfect husband.’ Eleanor said confidently, wanting Charlotte to be in no doubt that she meant what she said. She snuck a glance at Richard who was looking at his feet, a slight blush warming his cheeks. Charlotte smiled

‘I really must go, I will come to find you later, but I am here with my Aunt Catherine and she’s alone at the moment. But I will find you later.’ She said beaming at Eleanor and curtsying minutely to Richard before dashing off.

‘The perfect husband, eh?’ Richard murmured in her ear. Her eyes flickered upwards to meet his and she instantly wished that they were alone to take full advantage of the wicked look on his face. She instead had to be content with nudging him in the ribs with her elbow and saying

‘Well, you’re not too bad.’

‘Pfft, not too bad? I’ll get you back for that you wretch.’ He growled in mock threat

‘Are you trying to put me to the blush my Lord?’ she asked innocently, fluttering her eyelashes provocatively.

‘I’d like to do more than make you blush.’ He said in his most seductive voice and finally her cheeks coloured and she bit her lip. ‘But not here, there’s a good girl. We’re being watched enough as it is.’

‘You are a horrid man.’ She hissed, barely able to contain an embarrassed smile.

‘I thought you said I was perfect?’

‘You are a perfectly horrid man.’ She amended, taking her eyes off of him and pointing her nose in the air to attempt to look aloof.

‘I love you too darling.’

They found a couple of seats on the outskirts of the room that provided them with a good view of the room while being out of earshot from anyone. As most people were standing and milling about their quiet conversation went unheard although not totally unnoticed. They discussed most people that came into sight, filling each other in on what they knew of the guests, particularly the ones who would often throw furtive glances back at them.

‘Oh look, there’s Robert, come on. We should go over.’ Eleanor said after they had exhausted most of their knowledge of the people in view. She stood up and Richard reluctantly followed, allowing her to link her arm through his as she caught Robert’s eye.

‘Ellie, are you feeling better? Richard mentioned you were out of sorts this morning.’ Robert said quietly when she was side by side with him. She gave him a blank look and turned to scowl at Richard.

‘Are you two ganging up on me?’ she asked. Richard leant down to whisper

‘I worry about you; I thought it was best to let your brother know in case we needed the doctor-‘

‘I do not need the doctor!’ Eleanor interrupted fervently, but Richard gave her a look as if to say that she knew if she carried on in the same way she would be in trouble later. She closed her mouth, reminding herself that if it was up to him they wouldn’t be here potentially making an exhibition of themselves.

‘You _might_ have needed the doctor. We are in your brother’s house; he had a right to know.’ He continued. She sighed and nodded.

‘Sorry Robert, but I really am fine. There is no need for either of you to worry.’ She apologised, noticing both men exchanging glances that she couldn’t read. At that moment she felt a tap on her shoulder and spun round to find that Charlotte was standing behind her with a rugged looking older man with greying hair and immaculate regimentals close on her heels

‘Leicester! Well if there was one person I was sure would not be in attendance!’ the man said reaching a hand out to shake Richard’s. Eleanor watched them greet each other with a frown on her face, trying to work out why she found this man vaguely familiar.

‘And I hear you are married as well my Lord? Things have changed in England since I was here last.’ The man said, turning light brown to gaze at Eleanor ‘I dare say you do not remember me young lady, it has been some years since I saw you last.’

‘This is my Uncle, Colonel Jasper Law, Ellie.’ Charlotte whispered from beside her. Eleanor’s jaw dropped slightly as she remembered the name and realised who he was.

‘Mr Law! I am sorry, it has been such a long time, but of course I remember who you are. You taught me to ride my pony astride to annoy my stepmother! That was before she married my father though…’

‘Yes, I’m sorry it did not annoy her sufficiently to put her off marrying your father, he was a fool.’ Colonel Law said with a small smile. ‘I was pleased to hear she was not here tonight. I have you to thank for that Leicester, or so Lady Redgrave has been telling me. She’s been telling me a lot of things, hasn’t she Charlotte. I suppose I have to be thankful her son wasn’t here or I suppose she would have been forcing my niece into an unfortunate acquaintance. But that didn’t stop her giving me an earful.’

‘I’m sorry sir, I would rather she hadn’t come at all. Undoubtedly she’s spying for Lady Morton. But even had I not invited her she would have come anyway.’ Robert said, folding his arms and looking crossly over at the small group huddled around Lady Redgrave.

‘Oh, I do not blame you in the slightest Morton. It was my own fault for not paying more attention to where I was standing’

And with that introduction, the small group descended into cheerful and comfortable conversation, finally finding seats and drinks. Charlotte left to take several turns around the dance floor between darting back to check on her Aunt Catherine and Robert, as the host, stood to greet people and engage in polite conversation. Several people patted the Colonel on the shoulder and stayed long enough to take a vacated seat and chat merrily away to whoever was left. By the time the evening was drawing to a close Richard had relaxed and was reminiscing with the Colonel about the war. Eleanor found out that they had known each other during the war, but where Richard had completely left and returned to England, the Colonel had returned only to go back again.

‘Your husband was the dirtiest fighter I have ever seen, below the belt that’s what it was.’ The Colonel said cheerfully to Eleanor ‘And this was with his own men. The French didn’t stand a chance. I’ve never seen a man get out of as many scrapes as him. I remember finding him unconscious in the middle of a road, we thought he had been captured and killed but no, he’d been captured alright. Spun them a story about arms supplies in the North and was left for dead in the dirt. Luckiest man alive.’

‘I wouldn’t say that Jasper, I still have nightmares about what happened.’ Richard said bitterly, draining his glass of whiskey.

‘Yes, bad business that.’ The Colonel said morosely, looking down into his own empty glass. Eleanor stared at them, wondering what had put them both into a darker mood. She had just opened her mouth to ask when the loud voice of an obviously angered Lady Redgrave reached them.

‘It’s an insult I tell you Morton! An insult! How dare they be here, it sickens me to think we are under the same roof!’ Eleanor looked round to find the source of the problem to see a Lady Redgrave approaching followed by a small crowd of supporters and Robert attempting to halt them.

‘Lady Redgrave, please forgive me but I fail to see how it is an insult to you?’ Robert said anxiously as the room began to quieten.

‘It is an insult Mr Morton because of the grief your mother was put through when her only daughter left to live with a fiend! Now they are here and she felt unable to attend, it is grossly unjust Morton!’ Lady Redgrave as good as shouted, gaining the attention of even more people. Eleanor glanced at Richard whose jaw was set and his hands were balled into fists on his lap.

‘Eleanor is not her daughter by blood, she looked to me to be her protector and I thought her marriage a good one.’ Robert lied convincingly. Eleanor felt lucky that Robert and Richard had gained respect for one another as Robert was never a brilliant liar when he believed something to be untrue.

‘Lady Redgrave you are causing a scene, please sit down.’ Lord Redgrave barked, his face red and his giant moustache twitching. But Lady Redgrave did not. Most of the hall was in silence now to watch what would happen next.

‘That man is a monster, a murderer, no better than a street dog. You let a man like that have your very own flesh and blood? I dread to think what he does to her, Lady Morton is in a constant state of anguish.’ Lady Redgrave said her head lifting triumphantly at gaining the awareness of the crowd.

Eleanor felt the chair next to hers move and her head snapped round to find Richard standing up, his eyes fixed on that arrogant Lady’s face.

‘No, Richard…’ Eleanor whispered, but he strode past her. Her stomach felt like it had sunk to her feet as she watched her husband approach the offending crowd. He stopped directly in front of Lady Redgrave

‘ _You_ , what…’ she started, but Richard raised a hand to silence her and surprisingly she obeyed.

‘I will speak now.’ He said, his voice low, a sign that Eleanor recognised meant he was angry, but controlled ‘You have come here tonight for two purposes. One, I assume, to be in attendance so that you can report to Lady Morton on her stepdaughters conduct. The other, to blacken my name even further, which I may add did not need your assistance. I am fully aware of my reputation and have done nothing to amend it, what people such as you think of me has never been of much significance in my life. However, my wife is a different story and I do not want _anyone_ to leave here thinking that I would hurt her or make her as unhappy as her stepmother did. For all Lady Morton’s so called concern, I have never heard my wife say a single good word about her. I married Eleanor to protect her; nothing is going to stop me from doing that, do you understand Lady Redgrave?’ he finished sternly. Lady Redgrave looked affronted, but lowered her eyes in submission. The hall was silent still, but Eleanor could see that people were exchanging looks with each other out of the corner of her eye.

‘If you have nothing more to say then I think we will say good night.’ Richard began, but at these words of finality the room began to burst into life and Eleanor couldn’t hear what was said next, but Lady Redgrave departed in a huff. Eleanor could sense that that wasn’t the last they would be seeing of her. Richard was speaking to Robert; both of them looked tired and fed up. Eleanor felt a wave of guilt engulf her again and stood as the two men approached.

‘Richard, I…’ she began as he stepped close to her, but he cut her off by pressing a finger to her lips.

‘Later, when we’re alone.’ He murmured, obviously attempting to infiltrate kindness into his stiff voice.

‘I think that’ll be it for the evening now Ellie, people will start heading home from now. It may be best if you make yourselves scarce.’ Robert said matter of factly but quietly. She nodded and looked up at Richard who managed a grim smile.

‘Goodnight Robert. Colonel, it’s been a pleasure renewing our acquaintance, please tell Charlotte goodnight and I hope to hear from her soon.’ Eleanor said after looking to find that Charlotte was not in sight.

‘I will my dear. Do take care now.’ The Colonel said, bowing slightly. He patted Richard on the shoulder and they exchanged a glance before Richard offered his arm to Eleanor and they attempted to make their exit as unnoticed as possible. Fortunately, other than a few sets of eyes following them, they managed to reach the marble staircase without incident and they quickened their pace as they headed across the house and down to Eleanor’s room.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everybody that is still reading this! I'm afraid my progress is slow, but I have every intention of finishing! I'm probably about half way through my current plan for the storyline at this point, so there's still a lot left to go.

The fire had been lit and it shone a dim light into the room as they entered. Eleanor walked away from Richard once they were across the threshold and went to draw the curtains. Once closed, she held onto the material tightly in her fists, not knowing whether she should say something. She couldn’t hear him moving behind her, so she wasn’t sure where he was or what he was doing. She didn’t really want to turn around in case he was angry; she felt too tired to have to try to calm him down. But if he wasn’t angry then all she wanted was for him to hold her. She felt cold and alone standing by herself, even if they were both in the same room.

‘I’m sorry Elle.’ His strangled voice said. She spun round, curtains still clenched in her fists, to find him leaning heavily on a chest of drawers by the door. His eyes were downcast; he didn’t even blink as she moved. He looked miserable and defeated; her heart broke. She released the curtains and hurried over to him to throw her arms around his middle as best she could. It was quite awkward given the position he was standing in meant she was tucked under an arm at his side. He laughed softly

‘What are you doing?’ he asked quietly.

‘I don’t know.’ She replied honestly, holding onto him tighter. He stood up properly and guided her round into a more comfortable position. She leant her head on his chest as she felt his hands on the small of her back.

‘Are you alright, my love?’ he murmured into her ear.

‘You mustn’t say that you’re sorry, you must not. It’s my fault we’re here, you were right, the night was always going to end like that, I was just too short sighted to see it…’ she said desperately

‘No, Elle, don’t…’ He whispered

‘But it’s true! If we…’ she began, but he cut her off, his face supporting a dark expression and she knew that this evening had worn him down more than he had previously let on.

‘No more of this Eleanor, don’t make me angry with you!’ he said darkly. Eleanor’s eyes widened and she blinked rapidly at his tone, her arms loosening around him. His countenance melted and he stepped away from her. She let her arms fall to her sides listlessly as she watched him turn his back on her.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I didn’t mean to confront Redgrave either. I knew she would have too much wine and voice her opinions publicly after we overheard her conversation earlier. I told myself I wasn’t going to rise to it. But I couldn’t just sit there while she said those things about you, Elle, like you are not the most precious thing in my life. Like I would not die for you…’

‘Stop, Richard, please…’ she tried to interrupt, but he turned around, fell to his knees in front of her, clasping her hands and spoke over her words.

‘Because I would, Elle, I had nothing in my life before you and I would be left with less if I ever lost you. I couldn’t stand it.’ He said, his voice shaking in desperation.

‘You’re not going to lose me.’ she whispered, tears collecting in her eyes ‘Why would you think that?’

‘I thought perhaps you might have realised what you were missing here, all the people, and your brother. All I can give you is a sorry excuse for a soldier.’ He said dejectedly. She knelt down in front of him and made him look into her eyes.

‘You were a good soldier; Colonel Law made me see that. But you are far more than what you think you are. For all the things that have made you the way you are I wouldn’t change anything. I couldn’t love anyone as much as I love you.’

‘I thought everything Law said might have made you reconsider.’

‘Nothing could make me do that. And even if there was, pray tell me what I could have done about it? We’re married.’ She said, like it was the end of the matter, but he spoke again.

‘You could have had me killed.’

‘And who would have kept me away from my stepmother? I would be married to Alistair to stop me from running off with another disreputable man.’ She argued back, but then a thought suddenly occurred to her ‘You’re not thinking of leaving me here are you?’ she whispered. She watched him take a deep breath and fixed her gaze with his.

‘I did think about it, Elle, I thought perhaps it would be better for you. But I can’t, I can’t stand a single thought of you with another man, I can’t bear the thought of you not being in my bed in the morning. You would need to kill me because I cannot live without you.’ He said huskily. A lump rose in her throat and she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck so violently that he lost balance and they toppled onto the floor together in an clumsy mess.

‘I would never kill you.’ She whispered into his ear. He tilted his head and kissed the tip of her nose.

‘It looks like we’re stuck together then, darling.’ He said, smiling softly. She smiled and pushed him onto his back and held his shoulders to the floor.

‘I think what we have is a bit better than being “stuck with each other”, don’t you think?’ she purred, dipping her head to touch her lips to his before she pulled away. Richard’s eyes were on fire and he tried to sit up. Eleanor pushed him down harder and he growled.

‘Definitely better.’ He murmured, his eyes darting from her lips and back up to make eye contact again. She smiled and kissed him again, this time nipping gently at his bottom lip. He growled and instead of trying to push himself up he grabbed her waist and pulled her on top of him.

‘I think I like being on top of you.’ She giggled as she straddled him.

‘Hmmm.’

‘You don’t? Do you not like me being in charge?’ she said, teasingly brushing her lips down his jawline.

‘Elle, you may be pinning me to the floor, but you are certainly _not_ in charge.’ He said sternly. Before she could think of an answer he had grasped her hips again and thrust upwards with his. She gasped, and then moaned; her head falling onto his shoulder.

‘Are you going to lift the ban on love making while we’re here?’ she said breathlessly. She felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled

‘No, the ban is still in place. But what I am thinking of doing to you could not be called “love making”. When we get home I’m going to give you a good seeing to, you won’t leave our bed for days.’ He said sternly, but she smiled

‘Is that a promise? Because I’m not moving unless it is.’

‘It’s a promise, a thousand times over. Now up, I’m losing self-control.’ He said, sitting up now, as she had released the pressure on his shoulders. She sighed and rolled off of him onto her back, closing her eyes. She felt him stand up and heard the rustle of clothes as he started to get undressed.

‘I’m never going to understand London fashion. Why do we need to wear so many layers?’ She heard him mutter from somewhere above her. She smiled to herself and pushed up to her feet, opening her eyes to find that Richard had managed to struggle out of his clothes and was mid pulling a nightshirt over his head. She turned away and made her way to her dressing table to begin pulling the pins from her hair.

 

 

Eleanor was standing beside one of the narrow windows in her bedroom staring out onto the street. She’d woken feeling unwell again and had extricated herself from Richard’s arms to get some water. She glanced back to the bed and her still sleeping husband and smiled. It was early, earlier than she normally rose and the house was completely quiet save for the distant sounds of hooves on the road outside. He was normally already awake when she would wake up, so she had rarely seen him sleeping before. He looked younger, peaceful. All the emotion that had covered his face the previous evening had disappeared. Her heart swelled at the thought of him being hers, but the tingling in her stomach that had erupted made her feel sick and hot again. She looked away and had another sip of water.

‘Elle?’ She jumped at the sound of Richard’s voice and looked round. He looked dishevelled and sleepy, his eyes barely open and trying to locate her in the room.

‘I’m here.’ she said, stepping away from the window. He frowned at her, more awake now, and studied her face.

‘Are you not feeling well again?’ he asked, sounding concerned and making to get out of the bed. She went to him instead so that he didn’t have to move.

‘I just have a headache.’ She lied, taking his hand and squeezing it. ‘I often do after a ball.’

‘You should get back into bed and sleep some more.’ he said, helping her in next to her and trying to cover her with the blanket.

‘No, I’ll be too hot to sleep.’ She said, flicking his hands away. He was fully awake now and frowning.

‘Are you sure it’s just a headache?’ he said sceptically, but she forced a smile, hoping he wouldn’t see through it and said

‘I’m sure, a bit more sleep and I’ll be fine.’ His frown did not relent and she got the feeling that he knew she wasn’t telling the truth.

‘I will not have any more arguments with you about this Elle, you will ride home in the carriage. I will ride alongside with Lily and we will make an extra stop. That is the end of this conversation.’ He said with such an air of finality that she nodded her head.

‘Yes sir.’ She replied demurely which, if anything, made his frown become more pronounced.

‘You’re agreeing? Without an argument?’

‘You said you didn’t want an argument. And you’re right, I haven’t been feeling well, the journey might not have helped. I would have been more unhappy if you went home the way we came and left me, but if you ride with us then I think I don’t really have anything to complain about.’ she said, thinking that that was a reasonable answer, but, while the frown disappeared, it was replaced by worry.

‘Eleanor, it’s not just a headache is it? What’s wrong?’ he asked. She blinked at him and looked away.

‘I just feel a bit nauseous, it’s nothing. I’m probably just tired.’ She said quickly, but he reached out his hand and, putting it under her chin, made her look at him.

‘Why did you lie to me?’ He asked, the frown returning with a vengeance.

‘I didn’t want to worry you.’ She mumbled, but it was the wrong thing to say. His fingers tightened on her chin, but he let go quickly, realising that his anger was rising and not wanting to hurt her.

‘Eleanor, how many times do I have to tell you that it is my job, my purpose to worry about you?’

‘But there is nothing to worry about. I don’t want to be another cause of problems for you when you don’t even want to be here!’ she said forcefully, getting annoyed with him now. All she had wanted to do was keep him in a better mood. It had to go wrong, didn’t it? She saw his jaw twitch, but he took a deep breath

‘You will tell me if you think it’s getting worse. Tell me immediately.’ He said, more calmly this time, but his voice was no nonsense.

‘I will.’ She said meekly and he seemed content with that.

‘Try and sleep some more.’ he said as he settled his own head back on the pillows ‘you may feel better after a bit more rest.’

She sighed in accent and snuggled down next to him, torn between wanting to be close as possible to him and wanting to stay cool. She decided to stay on her back but leant her head to the side and onto Richard’s shoulder.

‘Richard?’ she sighed, closing her eyes.

‘Hmm?’

‘Did I tell you how ridiculous you look in that nightshirt?’ she said, a smile curling her lips.

‘You wretch.’ He growled, but she heard the laugh in his voice. Still smiling, she drifted back to a comfortable sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the time lapse in between chapters!!! I had a massive empty space in my brain when it came to this chapter and the last few weeks have been hectic. But here it is! If there are any mistakes or bits that don’t make sense please let me know. I’m a bit too sleepy to be checking through right now but want to post this while it’s still on my mind.
> 
> Thank you for your patience and for continuing to read!

‘Robert, have you seen my husband?’ Eleanor said upon finding her brother alone the sun room. She’d woken up late to find the bed empty and a plate of bread of jam left for her on her dressing table. She’d nibbled on it but decided she really wanted a cup of tea, so dressed and went in search of some company. She’d poked her head round several doors trying to find someone but had found nobody until now, and Robert was not the person she had really hoped to find.

‘He went to check on his horse, would you like tea?’ he asked, standing up from his chair to go up to the teapot. Eleanor smiled at her luck.

‘I’d love some thank you. But no milk.’ She said as she moved over to a small settee near to his chair and sat down. Noticing Robert’s face change at her request for no milk she asked ‘How long ago did he go out to see the horses?’

‘Not long, ten minutes perhaps. Are you worried he’s been accosted by disgruntled friends of our dear mamma?’ Robert said, handing her a fine china tea cup.

‘I was not worrying about that, but now you mention it…’

‘I was only joking. He’s managed to get through his life alright up until now, if he can’t take care of himself then no one can.’ He slumped back down in his chair, tea spilling over the sides of the cup and into the saucer. Eleanor noticed he looked just about as tired as she’d ever seen him.

‘You should have stayed in bed Bobby, it was a long day for you yesterday.’

‘It was a long day for you too.’ He countered.

‘Yes, but not as long as yours and I have only just got up.’

‘I have a house to run; I can’t afford to lie in bed all day.’

‘So you just mope around in here all day instead?’

‘I don’t mope.’

‘You are not doing much else!’

At that moment a movement caught Eleanor’s eye and Richard walked through the door.

‘My Lord, tell your wife that men do not mope. We have important things that need our attention.’ Robert said as soon as Richard’s presence caught his attention.

‘That is correct.’ Richard replied, earning a scowl from Eleanor, and giving Robert a searching look. ‘I think you look even worse than when I left you an hour ago.’

‘An hour? Was it really that long?’ Robert moaned, rubbing his temples with the tips of his fingers.

‘How long did you think I’d been gone?’ Richard said sounding faintly amused.

‘He said ten minutes about five minutes ago.’ Eleanor piped up.

‘I’ve had a lot on my mind!’ Robert defended, his face going bright red.

Eleanor was about to enquire to the reason behind the distinct change in colour of his cheeks when the butler knocked and opened the door to announce Colonel Law, Charlotte and her Aunt Catherine. If it were possible Robert’s face got even redder until it resembled a tomato. Eleanor told him as much and received a scowl in return before he strode forward to greet his guests.

Richard, who was still standing up, wandered leisurely to behind Eleanor and bent down to her level

‘I think I might know _who_ was on his mind.’ He said into her ear. She gave him a curious, sideways glance before turning her eyes to scrutinise her brother.

He was speaking to Lady Catherine at that moment, but he was still supporting an elevated colour in his cheeks; a colour that was identically echoed in Charlottes face.

‘Last night?’ she asked

‘They danced twice together. He was telling me this morning.’ Richard said, watching his wife’s face intently. She was observing as much as possible from where she sat. Everything was looking more and more interesting to her. A huge smile suddenly plastered her face. Richard rolled his eyes.

‘Eleanor’ he said warningly, correctly interpreting her smile.

‘Yes?’ she replied sweetly, as though a plan was not trying to work its way into creation.

‘No.’

‘Richard.’

‘Eleanor.’

‘But…’

‘No.’

‘Robert’s such a stick in the mud! He needs a bit of…’ she whispered.

‘Leave it be. We’ll be heading home soon; there won’t be time for you to…help.’ And, with a final look that said simply that Eleanor _was_ going to forget about forging any plans for her brother, he straightened up to shake hands with Colonel Law.

 

 

Eleanor relaxed Lilly’s reigns in her hands as she caught sight of home. Addersly Castle, bathed in the golden glow of evening, had never looked more inviting to her. They had stayed in town for six days after the ball. They mostly consisted of Richard attempting to distract Eleanor from interfering with her brother’s haphazard but seemingly budding love life.

He had taken her to the theatre or the opera every night, a diversion Eleanor knew that he was enjoying more than he was going to let her believe. During the day they had gone shopping or sightseeing when it was known the house was going to be entertaining guests. Eleanor thought that overall their trip to London had not been as bad as she’d expected and much to her glee Richard was inclined to agree with her.

The trip home however turned out to be wearing on both of them. Eleanor held to her promise and rode in the carriage, but after the first day of travelling she was bored and stiff from sitting still in a rocking carriage. For all of that discomfort she was then ill the next morning, having to rush to find a basin to empty the contents of her stomach upon waking.

Richard still insisted on her riding in the carriage, but joined her inside now to help ease her boredom. What he was rewarded with was a grumpy, irritable wife who moaned about wanting to get out of the carriage and ride. He managed to placate her for a short while by lifting her skirts and giving her a completely different type of ride; covering her mouth when her moans were in danger of being heard from outside. She settled for a while after that, sleeping for a while with her head resting on his shoulder. But when she woke up she felt sickly and miserable again.

Finally he gave in and said she could ride the last few miles home. Her heart lifted at the thought of having a good gallop and she perked up immediately. The rest of the journey was spent with Eleanor in better spirits and now, with home in sight, it looked like life would soon return to normal.

Eleanor turned her head from the view to take a good look at Richard, sitting calmly on Major, smiling slightly as he surveyed his land. Overgrown and unkempt, it was as far away from the London townhouses as you could imagine. Perhaps that was why he liked it so much, it was an escape.

‘It always feels good coming home.’ She said gently, not wanting to pull him out of his thoughts too abruptly.

‘It’s the best part of going away.’

 

‘What do you mean you’re leaving me here?’ Eleanor shouted. They had only returned home the day before, but as they were preparing for bed, Richard sprung the news that he was going to be leaving again.

‘I was planning to surprise you with a trip to see this year’s foals, but what with you not being well I don’t think it’s fair on you to take you…’

‘There’s nothing wrong with me!’ Eleanor bellowed back

‘So far away from home. Do not shout at me.’ he said sternly ‘I have had this organised for some time, I have to go to check everything is looking good and decide which foals to retain and which to sell. I _have_ to go.’

‘Then let me go with you.’

‘Eleanor, have you not listened to a word I have said? Have you forgotten how unwell you’ve been? It’s too much for you!’

‘That’s for me to decide.’ She said stubbornly, slumping heavily down on the bed.

‘No it’s not. Eleanor, you have been a complete pain travelling the last few days and I have had enough of your whinging. I have to go but you are staying at home!’ He said roughly, finally taking out some of the irritability that had built up over the last few weeks.

Eleanor sat in a subdued silence mulling over what he had said. She had been miserable in the carriage and knew she had been bad company the entire time. He couldn’t be blamed for not wanting more of that.

‘I am alright Richard.’ She said forlornly, knowing that her argument was lost but unable to completely back down.

‘Enough of this Elle, do you think I’m stupid? Or unobservant? I know you’ve been getting worse, you need some rest.’ He said, gently now, coming to sit beside her on the bed and took her hand. She didn’t want to look at him just yet, so stared fixatedly at their hands.

‘I don’t want you to leave me behind.’ She whispered. Being on her own, even though she was now home, was a situation she didn’t want to be in. While travelling she was put out, but at least she had some company. Now it looked like she’d have to suffer her boredom alone. And she would be bored. She knew for a fact that he wouldn’t allow her to ride while he thought her off colour. Rest was going to mean rest and that was it.

‘I have told Burke to take good care of you and I’ll only be gone a week, ten days at the most.’

‘ _You_ haven’t been taking very good care of me! We haven’t even made love once since we’ve been home.’ She said, her eyes flickering upwards briefly to take a look at his face.

‘Elle, we’ve only been home a day!’ he exclaimed, but she was pleased to see his cloudy expression clearing somewhat.

‘Exactly. A whole day has gone by already and you are not looking very interested in doing anything but sleeping tonight either.’

‘You’re supposed to be resting.’ He chided, a small smile twitching his lips.

‘I don’t need that kind of rest.’ She said, looking at him properly.

‘Hmm, don’t think I haven’t guessed what you’re doing you wretch, playing to my weaknesses. You’re only going to be disappointed.’

‘Richard!’ she protested.

‘Eleanor!’ He mimicked, a massive smile appearing on his face at her scowl. He leant forward and pressed his lips to her forehead. ‘When I get back, you’ll hopefully be feeling better and I’ll make up for today.’

‘And every day we were in London. Then every day you’re gone from today. That’s a lot of making up to do; you might as well start now.’ She said hopefully, removing her attention away from his face and down to the buttons on his shirt. Buttons that she wished she was undoing. He placed a finger under her chin and gently lift her gaze up to his.

‘I thought I’d made quite a good start in the carriage.’ He murmured, bending down to kiss her lips. She took the opportunity to deepen it, nipping his bottom lip and having to stifle a triumphant laugh at the deep rasping noise that escaped from his throat. Seeking to push her advantage she whispered

‘You did, that’s why you shouldn’t stop now. I don’t want you getting rusty while you’re away, not now I’m so used to such a skilful lover.’

Somehow she managed to encourage him to kneel on the bed, kissing and biting him gently in an attempt to keep his mind from wandering back to the land of sanity. For a while she thought she’d succeeded. He seemed singularly focused on her; smoothing his hands over her body; squeezing and lightly pinching. She thought, as things were progressing nicely, to try and take the next step. Her hands travelled downwards from where they had rested around his neck and began to undo his breeches, a pursuit she had at first found quite difficult with her eyes closed. But she was getting better.

‘Oh God, stop Elle, stop!’

But, obviously, still not good enough. He pulled away from her violently and turned away so he could lean forward and grip the sheets without getting too close to her. She flopped backwards and covered her eyes with one of her arms.

‘You…are going…to be….the death of me.’ he gasped through laboured breaths.

‘I can understand that feeling.’ She replied, peeping at him from under her arm ‘although I suspect for a slightly different reason.’

‘More like the completely opposite reason.’ He still looked like he was struggling to control himself.

‘I can’t help it if my husband can’t perform his marital duties.’ She said flippantly.

‘Oh, I can perform. Don’t think I’m not going to make up for every second I have spent away from you when I return. You won’t be able to walk madam wife.’

‘You promised me something similar before and I have seen neither sight nor sound of my reward.’

‘Hmmph. What have I done to you? To think it was only a short while ago you were apprehensive of sharing our marriage bed.’

‘It’s normal to be unsure of the unknown.’

He nodded but stayed silent for a moment. Eleanor watched him, cursing her miserable illness and his ability to control himself.

‘I’m going to open the window. Please get into the bed. Do _not_ remove any of your clothing or I’ll go and find another bed to sleep in.’

 

 

It had been five days since Richard had left. Five days that had gone so slowly Eleanor felt like she’d been cooped up in the castle for several years. Particularly since her perceived illness had not disappeared and seemed to be getting progressively worse.

It was the morning of the fifth day, while she was sipping some black tea in the library, when a memory from many years ago came to the forefront of her mind. There was a time when she remembered her stepmother had a similar illness, or so she thought. It wasn’t a great amount of time before her father had told her she was going to have a new sibling and her stepmother’s sickness was caused by carrying the baby. Mamma had stayed in her separate bedroom screeching about the unfairness of life so loudly the entire house was notified of her changing moods.

Her heartbeat quickened. She had not thought about the possibility of having children. Her stepmother had been such an awful role model in that perspective that, although she had always loved other people’s children, it had not occurred to her that she was now in a position to have her own.

She placed the teacup down on the table near her chair as she shaking hands were making it difficult to hold. She didn’t know much about pregnancy. Almost nothing. There was nobody in the household that had had children and she didn’t want to send for the doctor for fear of worrying Richard.

She was in deep thought when an idea presented itself; the family that she and Richard had returned the baby to all those weeks ago. They clearly had a large family and were more than likely to know answers to any questions she had. It would also give her an opportunity to see how the baby was. Richard was not home yet; she could sneak out for an hour or so without being detected if she timed her moment right.

A plan was forming in her mind. She would go today.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God, this chapter! No matter how much research I have done I am pretty sure I have got things wrong! Please excuse it! Thank you for reading in advance!

At three o’clock in the afternoon Mr Alderman and Mr Nash went down to the kitchens to take their late lunch. It was well known that this routine was one that was rarely broken. On a slow day, like when Richard was not in residence, Mrs Burke and Vernon would join them. Eleanor was well aware of this particular occurrence and planned to take full advantage of her knowledge to ride to the village and back within the hour.

She told Mrs Burke that she was feeling tired and, as she was going to take a sleep, she would not like to be disturbed. Thus, she was almost guaranteed that Mrs Burke and Vernon would take their time having a break in the kitchens.

At three she was ready to go and peering through an upstairs window, which had a clear view of the stable yard, to see when the two horsemen were leaving their posts. She wore a riding dress that she had often worn when riding with Richard. It was loose and looking old but very comfortable and perfect for her needs. Hoping that the little girl was still alive she had a length of pink ribbon tied around one of her wrists. She didn’t know what else to take as she couldn’t go to the kitchens for food and she didn’t have anything else she felt she could give away.

Mr Nash and Mr Alderman left the stable yard for the kitchens a few minutes after three, looking sweaty yet cheerful as they looked forward to their break. Eleanor didn’t waste any time. She hurried down to the entrance hall and to the front doors, easing them open just enough to squeeze through. As she reached the stables she checked to make sure Lily was tethered in her stall before heading to the tack room. She and Richard often readied their own horses for riding, so she was used to the routine of tacking up.

Before long she was leading Lily out through the courtyard and over to a small wall to mount up. Luckily Lily was in a calm mood and stood patiently while Eleanor made herself comfortable and secure.

‘Good girl, nice and quietly now.’ She whispered as she gently nudged Lily’s side. No matter what she said or did she couldn’t stop the loud clip clopping of Lily’s shoes against the cobbles. Even though no one was there to hear her she urged Lily forwards to try and get onto the grass quickly.

It was a warm day so by the time she reached the edge of the home wood at a steady canter she was feeling hot and glad to be sheltered by the shade of the trees. She slowed to a walk to ride through the wood as she didn’t like the idea of being knocked off of her horse by a branch. It was quiet and still as she steered Lily in what she thought was the right direction. Lily was alert and her ears moved around until Eleanor started talking to her and her attention turned to her rider. Eleanor was beginning to feel the prickle of nerves creep up her spine as they continued; she was worried that she’d managed to get lost and wouldn’t make it back in time to go unnoticed. These nerves made her feel queasy which added to the feeling of discomfort from the heat. She was beginning to regret her little adventure already.

Finally she reached the clearing where she and Richard had found the baby, little girl and the body of their mother. She pushed Lily up into a gentle trot as she knew she was on the right track and reached the the village faster than she had remembered getting there on foot.

The house she was looking for wasn’t too hard to find. This particular part of the journey had been one that she had burned into her memory. This time she felt more aware of the eyes peering at her through gaps in the doors or, more conspicuously, on the path. She dismounted as the door she was approaching opened and the blonde woman she left the baby with stood there.

‘My Lady.’ She said, dipping into a curtsy.

‘Oh no! Please don’t do that.’ Eleanor said as she fastened a length of rope to Lily’s bridle and tied her to an old wooden fence outside. ‘I’m Eleanor. I’m sorry to bother you, but I wondered how the baby was getting along?’ she continued, knowing that she was not appearing like the noblewomen she was brought up to be.

‘Oh, the baby is well My Lady.’ The blonde woman said looking confused at the strange turn of events.

‘Sarah, the pot was boiling over! Why are you not keeping an eye on it?’ a scratchy female voice said from somewhere inside the tiny house.

‘Ma, I’m at the door.’ Sarah shouted back into the house. Footsteps approached and a grey haired, wrinkled woman stared Eleanor straight in the eye.

‘Ah, My Lady, forgive me for not bowing. The knees don’t do as I tell them these days.’ She said, a slight smile curving her lips and making the lines on her face stand out even more.

‘She asked about Emma.’ Sarah said quietly to her mother.

‘Ask her in then.’ The older woman said before heading back into the house.

‘Would, um, would you like to come in My Lady.’ Sarah said, still looking confused.

‘I don’t want to intrude if it isn’t convenient.’

‘Ask her in Sarah!’ the voice said loudly from inside.

Eleanor and Sarah made eye contact and Eleanor smiled. Sarah stepped aside to let her pass. Just as she crossed the threshold the smell of cooking hit her. She screwed up her face momentarily and halted briefly before remembering her manners and disguising it. She rarely smelt food cooking as the kitchens in the castle were so far away, so she thought nothing more of it. Other than to make sure she was a little more careful of her reactions.

‘I’m sorry if this is a bad time.’ Eleanor said to Sarah once the door had been closed and she was being taken towards a rickety table and several mismatched chairs.

‘No time is a bad time really, My Lady.’ Sarah said

‘Please, call me Eleanor. This visit is purely social.’ Eleanor said as she sat down in one of the more stable looking chairs. Sarah didn’t have enough time to say anything else as her mother bustled into the room carrying a bundle.

‘My Lady, I am Martha and this is little Emma, who I am told you have met before.’ Martha said handing over the bundle, which contained a baby that had grown somewhat since Eleanor had last seen her. A large smile crept up Eleanor’s face as Emma gazed up at her.

‘She looks well.’

‘She is; given her start in life. Thank you for bring her and Rebecca home.’

‘It was the least we could do. I’m sorry about her mother. Your daughter, is that correct?’ Eleanor said, asking Martha, who had sat herself down in another one of the chairs.

‘Yes, that’s right. Silly girl. Fit to burst and she wanders off.’ Martha said disapprovingly, but Eleanor caught the sad expression that crossed her face.

‘We rarely see the Earl round the village; it was quite an event when both of you turned up.’ Sarah said, relaxing herself at last and taking a seat herself. ‘We’d heard of you. Bill Alderman brings the horses to the blacksmith here to be shod. He told us that the Earl had finally taken a Countess.’

‘At last. We were surprised to hear that you were English. We thought he’d come home from abroad with a Spanish bride. We didn’t think he’d manage to persuade an English noble to hand over his daughter.’ Martha said bluntly. She seemed to have little reservations about what she said. Eleanor appreciated it.

‘My father died some time ago. My brother gave permission for me to wed; he and my husband are friends.’ Eleanor said, wincing internally at the small lie she had told. To cover it she rocked baby Emma and cooed to her softly.

‘Ah, that would be it then.’ Martha said. ‘You will make a good mother. Soon too, I imagine.’

Eleanor’s head snapped up.

‘Why do you say that?’ She asked, glad she hadn’t needed to prompt this conversation, but worried at how Martha had noticed.

‘You carry yourself as though you’re protecting your middle. You may not be showing yet, but you are aware your body has changed and you need to care for what’s growing inside you.’

‘I don’t know if I am. Not certainly.’ Eleanor said nervously. She was rapidly losing the control she thought she had had in the conversation.

‘Hmm have you felt or been sick?’ Martha asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Have you been feeling tired recently?’

‘Yes.’

‘Has your monthly bleeding stopped?’

‘Oh…I erm…’ she blushed at this question, asked with such a no nonsense attitude she was taken aback ‘they have never been “monthly” for me, so I haven’t been keeping track…’

‘But you haven’t bled recently? Over the last couple of months?’ Martha continued, still sounding like this was the most normal thing in the world to be discussing over the table.

‘No.’ Eleanor said quietly, shaking her head.

The two women looked at each other knowingly.

‘There has to be more than that…’ Eleanor protested.

‘There is, but until your belly starts swelling or you feel your little’un moving we look for the main signs. Which you have.’ Sarah said. Eleanor eyed Sarah. She was older than Eleanor was by a few years and quite possibly had children of her own. Martha certainly had. They should know what they were talking about.

‘The Earl will be very happy, My Lady.’ Sarah persisted.

‘Eleanor.’

‘My Lady Eleanor.’ Sarah corrected with a smirk.

‘You knew what I meant.’ Eleanor said smiling back.

‘She did and I know that you are changing the subject. I had an experience like yours every single time and I have had thirteen children all told. Delivered more; I know a woman in the family way when I see one.’ Martha said. Eleanor looked at the pair of them with new fascination. Their culture and life here was so different to her own.

‘There could be others reasons for my condition.’

‘Have you not had marital relations with the Earl?’

‘I have.’ Eleanor replied, beginning to understand that neither of the other women found these questions extraordinary and she was feeling self-conscious for no reason.

‘Then, my dear, you have to be prepared.’ Martha said kindly.

‘But how do you…’

‘All of the reasons we have said. Plus you flinched and wrinkled your face when you came through the door. I suspect your nose is a little more sensitive to smells and we cook at this time for when the men come home.’ Martha answered.

‘Oh no, I hoped you hadn’t noticed.’ Eleanor said, feeling more than a little embarrassed, but the two women just laughed.

‘Hard to get much past this old bird.’ Sarah said playfully nodding to her mother. Their relationship was enviable to Eleanor, who had only really known the coldness of her stepmother. She hoped that her bond with her future children was more like the one between Martha and Sarah than the one she had experienced.

‘And that’s a sign?’ Eleanor asked.

‘Coupled with everything else, yes it is.’ Martha said.

Eleanor heaved a sigh and gazed back down at the little life, blissfully asleep, that she cradled in her arms. She was starting to feel nauseous again.

‘How many have you had Sarah?’ Eleanor asked.

‘Two, but one died.’ She said looking sad but not too ruffled.

‘How, how did…’

‘Not now dear, the last thing you need to be thinking about in your condition is what could go wrong.’ Martha said, ending the conversation. Eleanor wasn’t brave enough to push the subject.

‘I think I should probably leave now. Thank you for letting me see Emma and for inviting me into your home; I would like to come back at some point if you’ll let me?’ Eleanor asked as she stood up. Sarah approached and took Emma from Eleanor’s arms. She felt oddly cold with nothing in her arms to hold.

‘Our house is always open to you, My Lady.’ Martha said as the pair walked her to the door.

‘Thank you.’

‘Are you going to be alright getting home? You came on your own did you?’ Sarah asked as Eleanor went to Lily’s head and untied her.

‘I did, I’ll be fine, and I got here with no problems.’ Eleanor said as she looked around for something to use as a step to help her get on. She ended up deciding on using the old fence and was glad it wasn’t in as bad condition as it appeared to be when it held her weight.

They said their goodbyes swiftly and Eleanor hurried Lily along the track to the wood with more urgency than she would have liked. She was sure she was much later than she had intended to be and was going to be lucky if no one had noticed she’d gone. At least Richard was still away, she could hopefully still be able to hide it from him. She crossed the wood much faster than she had earlier, cantering in a few places, but the increased pace was making her stomach churn and her head feel light.

The sunlight that hit her as she reached the end of the trees was unwelcome. The last thing she needed was heat. She was forced to slow down and walk in the hope that she’d feel more like herself at a leisurely speed. She let the reins loosen and trusted Lily to find her way home without Eleanor’s guidance. She lifted a hand to her head and rubbed around her eyes; breathing deeply all the while. She was definitely feeling worse. Putting a hand to her stomach as it churned she willed herself not to relieve the contents of her stomach over Lily’s neck; she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself for putting the poor horse through that.

As the entrance to the stable yard came into view Lily let out an almighty neigh. Eleanor was brought out of her thoughts to look up. What she saw made her heart stop.

Sitting astride his grey stallion, speaking to Mr Nash, was Richard. He had looked up when he heard her horse, who must have been greeting her friend, showing her the look on his face.

Now she was going to be sick.

She slid from Lily and made a dash for the nearest tree; leaning on it as vomited. She felt giddy and hot and was shaking so hard she had to hang onto the bark of the tree to stop herself from falling. She heard hooves approaching but didn’t look round. She closed her eyes instead and took long breaths through her mouth.

‘What in God’s name do you think you are doing?!’ Richard roared from behind her. Eleanor didn’t answer. She was so unprepared for this turn of events she didn’t know what to say. His hand gripped her arm and pulled her round, his intention had been to get her attention. The result was Eleanor losing her balance and falling into him with a high pitched moan.

‘Elle?’ he said as put one arm around her for support and tilted her face up to his. His expression was stormy but his eyes were analysing her.

‘You’re still ill, aren’t you?’ he asked. She nodded in response and dragged her eyes away from his face. ‘I’m calling the doctor.’

‘Please do.’ She whispered, feeling his muscles stiffen, a reaction to hearing her agree with him when he had not expected it.

He scooped her up into his arms and carried her towards the castle shouting

‘Nash, take the chestnut back to her stable then ride Major into town and fetch the doctor.’

‘I’m sorry.’ She mumbled into his shoulder.

‘Not now Elle.’ He grunted, taking the front steps two at a time and bursting into the front hall.

They were halfway up the stairs when they passed Mrs Burke

‘Oh, Master, you’re back. And you’ve found her. Where…’ but she trailed off into silence as he didn’t stop for her.

When Eleanor was being settled down on their bed she tried to reach out to him, hoping that he might wordlessly give her some reassurance; but he ignored her hand. He pressed a palm to her forehead, took off her shoes and turned his back on her to sit down in the chair by her dressing table. There he stayed; silent until there was a knock on the door.

‘Come.’ Richard said.

The door opened and a man she’d never met walked into the room. He had greying hair and the lines round his eyes made his face look as wizened as an old tree. His diet was clearly not poor as he supported a large paunch under a snug brown waistcoat. A pair of round spectacles sat on his short nose but he wore an easy smile and a kindness radiated from him that instantly put Eleanor at ease. This was a doctor she didn’t feel afraid of.

‘Good evening My Lady, I’m Doctor Clarke; I was called out to see to you last winter when you fainted. I’m pleased to see you are conscious this time.’ The Doctor said approvingly. Richard let out a scoff from behind him. ‘My Lord, if you wouldn’t mind leaving the room.’ Doctor Clarke said, addressing Richard.

Richard scowled but before he could answer Eleanor cleared her throat and said

‘Do as he says, I’ll be fine.’ She smiled encouragingly at him, ignoring the anger on his face. He stood up stiffly, now eying the doctor with contempt.

‘I will be just outside the door.’ He said curtly and walked out.

As the door shut behind him the questions began. He asked her some loose questions as he checked her pulse, looked in her eyes and ears and mouth. Then sat beside her and asked her more specific questions about her recent ailments. How long it had been going on for, how long was it lasting; whether she and her husband had had intimate relations over the last few weeks and if her, already erratic, monthly cycle had stopped. As the questions became more and more familiar she began to gather that he was coming to the same conclusion as she and her new friends had.

‘Am I with child?’ she asked quietly. She trusted Martha and Sarah’s opinion, but this was different. It felt different. It felt official. She wouldn’t be able to keep it from Richard.

‘It’s early yet, but I think so. I have seen a great many expectant mothers that have shown these symptoms; I have been doing this job long enough that I’m rarely wrong.’ He said confidently ‘I will have a midwife sent to you, if you have any questions they are best directed at her as she will spend time with you over the coming months making sure you are progressing well.’ He said in his gentle manner, just as quiet as she had been, seeming to grasp her urgency not to be overheard. She nodded to signal she had heard and taken in what he had said.

‘Thank you Doctor Clarke.’ She said, smiling as best she could. He noticed her uncertainty and smiled encouragingly back.

‘Would you like me to notify My Lord of your condition before I leave?’ he asked.

‘I would appreciate it if you would. You might be able to answer some of his questions better than I will.’

‘Of course. I will call on you next week with a suitable midwife. You’re symptoms will likely continue for now, don’t be alarmed. Rest. If you feel much worse I will come sooner.’

‘Thank you.’ Eleanor said again. He made a stooped attempt at a bow and took his leave.

As he left he did not shut the door properly, deliberately, Eleanor suspected, so that she could now hear everything Doctor Clarke was telling Richard. Her stomach squirmed.

‘Clarke, what’s wrong with her? Will she get better?’ Richard’s voice demanded.

‘Doctor Clarke, My Lord, we have known each other long enough to know to show respect of one another’s titles.’ Doctor Clarke said calmly. Eleanor wished she was that calm, but he seemed to know what he was doing. He was a man much braver than he looked, given Richard’s title and reputation he didn’t cower at reprimanding him.

‘Yes, Doctor. But my wife?’ Richard asked, in a less demanding but considerably more emotional tone.

‘Your wife is very well, My Lord…’

‘Well? What about the sickness and…’

‘My Lord, please allow me to finish speaking.’ There was a brief pause

‘Continue.’

‘Your wife is pregnant. She is experiencing the natural effects of carrying a child. They are normal and there is nothing to be concerned about. Keep her settled and rested. Avoid any over excitement.’

‘Pregnant?’ Richard said hoarsely, stuck on the start of the explanation. Eleanor wasn’t sure if he had heard anything after the doctor had said that word.

‘Yes My Lord. I will call on you in a couple of days with a midwife to give you some more information. For now there is nothing to worry about.’ Doctor Clarke said placidly. Eleanor noticed that he had decided to come back sooner than he had when he had been speaking to her; she wondered what had made him say that.

‘Thank you Doctor.’

‘A pleasure as always My Lord. I can see myself out.’

The only thing Eleanor heard from then was one set of footsteps receding down the corridor and into nothingness. Richard didn’t appear. She knew he hadn’t gone; that he was standing outside. But he didn’t come to her. Anxiety crept up her spine. What if he didn’t want a baby? But every man in his position wanted an heir, didn’t they? What if he already had a child with another woman? What would they think? Questions were coming thick and fast and she was working herself up.

Finally the door creaked open and Richard was stepping over the threshold. He had a dazed look in his eyes; like he wasn’t fully aware of his surroundings. But as his eyes found Eleanor, still sitting nervously in bed, he suddenly seemed to regain some sense of himself. He walked to her with more purpose, picking up the chair from in front of Eleanor’s dressing table as he went. He set it down quietly beside her and sat on it with equal softness, as though he was trying not to frighten her. He looked pale and his face was expressionless as he prepared himself to speak.

‘Did you know?’ he asked.

‘I thought I might be, but I didn’t know for sure…’ She began, her voice higher than normal.

‘You went out riding; to the village I told you not to go to alone because it is dangerous; when you knew you might be carrying my child? Our child, Elle, why, why would you do that?’ he said, finding his voice now; the words coming desperately.

‘I went to see Emma and her family.’

‘Emma? Who is Emma?’

‘The baby we found in the home wood. You wouldn’t take me, and I know you didn’t want me to go, but I wanted to see what happened to her so much Richard. I just wanted to see if she was still alive.’ She answered quickly, before he could interrupt with more objections.

‘And?’

‘They’re doing well. They have…’ she said, hoping to draw his attention off, but he interrupted before she could get into her stride.

‘No, why else did you go there?’ he asked bluntly.

‘They have children, Richard. I wanted to ask someone who knows what it’s like before I told you my suspicions. What if I was wrong?’

‘Then you would have been wrong. What did you think I would do?’

‘I don’t know. But you were not here and none of your staff would have been able to help…’

‘Why didn’t you send for the doctor?’

‘It didn’t occur to me.’

‘Eleanor, I don’t know what more I can do with you. When will you realise that I am trying to protect you?’

‘I don’t need you to protect me.’ she argued back, but this statement only seemed to make him worse.

‘You’re being foolish. You risked your life today by going into the wood on your own. The villagers hunt there, not all of them are as harmless as the ones you went to meet. A Countess, on her own, in the middle of a place unknown to her…I can’t talk to you Eleanor, I need to go.’ He stood up quickly and practically ran for the door.

‘Richard, stop!’ she said, making to get up but stopping as her head swam at the sudden movement. She heard the door slam before she’s managed to get herself together. Instead of following him she lay down and grabbed his pillow to hug close to her. Of all the reactions she could have imagined, his leaving her on her own was not one of them.

Something pink caught her eye and she fumbled to find the ribbon she had taken for Emma was still tied around her wrist. Perhaps her baby would have pink ribbon. There were so many ifs and buts, she wasn’t even sure if Richard was going to speak to her again. He was not only angry but upset; a lethal combination. She untied the ribbon and held it in her fist.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God, OH MY GOD! What is THIS?!?! It’s a chapter! Dun dunnn duuuunnn! I genuinely cannot believe it has been this long between updates, I am the absolute worst, and this chapter is hardly the longest, most exciting chapter in the world either. I can only apologise (as I usually do) for the tardiness of my updates, and thank any readers that still find this half-arsed excuse for a story interesting.
> 
> So a MASSIVE thank you for reading, I love you all xxxx

 Eleanor awoke to a dark room and a cold bed. She sat up slowly and looked around. Empty. The room was empty, no sign that anyone had been in the room and the fire remained unlit. She was still wearing the same dress she’d ridden out in earlier, which was uncomfortable to sleep in and she knew when she removed it she would have red lines marking her skin. She got up and steadily managed to tug off all her clothing. Finding and slipping on her night-rail, she picked Richard’s night robe up from the end of the bed and pulled it on as she made her way to the door. It was far too long for her and as she walked, silent and barefoot, through the corridors she had to pick up some of the material to prevent it dragging along the floor.

 As her destination, the library, came into sight, she saw a dull light emitting through the crack in the door. She knew he’d be in there, possibly at the brandy, possibly in a drink induced sleep. Eleanor was nervous, confused and worried that Richard’s shift in behaviour was a sign of things to come. _The most dangerous man in England_ , that’s what they had said. She had had enough time with him to realise this was not entirely true but he was unpredictable and while she knew he’d not deliberately hurt her, there was a doubt in her mind as to whether he could always be trusted to remember himself. Even though she didn’t really want to do it, she knew that confronting him and working out a solution was the only way forward she could do. She took a deep breath, eased open the door and quietly stepped inside.

 The fire was flickering, the brandy decanter and all four glasses were still in place on the table to the left of the fireplace. Richard’s forearm was hanging limply over the arm of his favourite chair. She walked over to him, bent, and picked up his hand and threaded her fingers through his. He was asleep, his head tilted to the side, a residual scowl on his face. She squeezed his fingers. His nose wrinkled and he sighed, but did not wake up. She began to tickle the palm of his hand with the tips of her fingers. His arm jerked and his eyes opened.

‘Elle?’ He sat up straighter but did not pull his hand away from her. ‘What’s the time?’

‘I don’t know.’ She replied, turning to the gilded clock on the mantle. ‘Half past eleven.’

 He grunted, looking her over and leant forwards to reach out and touch her stomach tentatively. A small smile graced his lips until his eyes fell downwards towards her bare feet.

‘Eleanor, you’re not wearing anything on your feet.’ He chided gently, getting up and leading her to the small sofa she usually inhabited beside the fire. Once sat he let go of her hand, knelt and began to rub warmth into her feet.

‘How many times do I have to tell you…’ he said, but as he realised what he was saying he stopped, holding her feet loosely in his hands.

‘Never enough. I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t apologise.’

‘But…’

‘No, Elle, it wasn’t your fault. It _was_ irresponsible, but I should have taken you over there in the first place. I should have known you’d take it into your own hands you wretch.’ He said, smiling sadly. ‘I shouldn’t have reacted the way that I did.’

‘I thought…I thought maybe you didn’t…that you might already have an heir that I didn’t know about.’ She said haltingly, feeling increasingly self-conscious as she spoke. He smiled properly at that, shaking his head, and resumed rubbing her feet.

‘No heir. No children that I am aware of, least of all a legitimate one.’

‘So this will be your first?’

‘Very much so.’ He said, taking her hands. Eleanor could tell that he wanted to say something, he kept opening and closing his mouth minutely and taking sharp breaths as though he was about to speak and thought better of it.

‘What is it?’ she asked. ‘What’s wrong?’

At first, he looked like he wasn’t going to answer and brush it off, but after a moment he started to speak, his eyes downcast

‘My mother died when I was very young, she died in childbed with my younger brother. He died a few hours after she did. My father took charge of me. It was no life, no childhood. I hated him. It feels like a bitter twist of fate that I’ve ended up just like him.’ He said, his voice barely above a whisper, but she heard the hard edge to it.

‘I don’t think you have.’ She said as she reached out and stroked his hair, understanding that this was going to be a hard conversation for him.

‘You never met him.’ He responded

‘I know you’re a good man.’ She said softly, knowing she was right.

 Eleanor thought that she was one of the few people that saw that side of him. The rest, they saw a hard edged, dangerous man, and this reputation had been one that he had long lived up to. She assumed that he found it easier to let them believe it, but he was not that man. He was confused, and she couldn’t blame him. Living alone for so long, he had certain ways of thinking, he coped with Eleanor for the most part as she was an independent thinker. A baby was going to be fully reliant on care.

‘How can you say that? After all I put you through.’ He said, lifting his head, his eyes bright.

‘You haven’t always been perfect. But neither have I. You don’t have to do everything right all the time, you just have to do your best.’

‘I don’t want to hurt the baby.’ He said, quiet again, his eyes returning to gaze at her knees. She leant forward and touched her forehead to his.

‘You won’t.’ she said firmly.

‘But I don’t want to hurt you and yet I do.’

‘We disagree, we argue. That’s normal. The worst hurt you have done me is when I think I am losing you.’

 He lifted his head slightly so he could look blearily into her eyes, but their foreheads still touched.

‘I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel unwanted. The last thing I’m going to do is walk away from you. I’m more in danger of losing _you_ , and then I don’t know where I’ll be.’ He said, leaning in close to plant a gentle kiss to her lips.

‘You won’t lose me, why would I leave?’ she whispered.

‘You might not have a choice.’ He said reluctantly. She lifted her head away to stare back at him, her brows creased.

‘Richard, women die in childbirth, I know that, but _I_ am not going to be one of them.’ She said resolutely.

‘You can’t know that.’ He persisted, albeit gently.

‘No I can’t.’ she admitted ‘but Martha, one of the women in the village, she has had thirteen children and she’s alive and well. Your mother died, and I am so sorry you grew up without her, but that doesn’t mean I will. You need an heir. You must have known, once you bedded me, this would happen eventually.’

‘It was something I had in mind when I…demanded for your hand in marriage. It had not occurred to me recently.’ He said, the bitter note returning to his voice.

‘Not all your demands are repugnant to me, my Lord. Even if providing an heir was one of them, I would not have had any objection. I want a baby.’ She said honestly. It was a truth she had barely even wanted to admit to herself, but she knew it was something she wanted for her future.

‘You do?’ he said, surprised.

‘Yes. I looked after Sam, my brother, when he was small. I wanted to keep little Emma when we found her. So many things have changed since marrying you, but knowing that I want children hasn’t.’

‘You’re so young…’ he pleaded.

‘I’m one and twenty.’ She replied defiantly. It was not such a young age for a woman to bear her fist child, after all. He huffed out a laugh.

‘It was a long time since I was that age.’ He said

‘How old are you?’ She asked

‘One and forty.’ He replied.

‘Oh.’ She said in surprise, her eyebrows lifting.

‘ _Oh?_ ’ he repeated, questioningly.

‘I thought you were younger than that. You look it.’

‘I suppose I should take that as a compliment. Does knowing my age revolt you? I don’t know how we’ve never spoken of it before.’ Richard said warily. Eleanor shook her head,

‘No, of course it doesn’t. If it were going to be a problem I would have said something before we married.’

‘Would you really?’ he asked sceptically

‘Well…no. I wouldn’t. But it never was a problem, so it doesn’t matter, does it?’ she admitted good naturedly.

‘No, it doesn’t matter now.’ He said, standing up and moving towards the fire ‘I’ve never told you how sorry I was for forcing your hand and making you marry me. We didn’t begin our marriage in bliss.’

‘But we will live the rest of it in bliss.’ She said, following him and taking his hand.

‘You sound very confident about that.’ He said, looking down at her with a small smile.

‘I love you. That’s all I need to know.’ She smiled back.

‘I love you too, darling.’ He said, taking her in his arms and sweeping her into a kiss full of feeling and promise.

‘I will do everything in my power not to lose you. Whatever you need, you will get.’ He murmured against her lips.

‘Can we go to bed?’ she said, pulling away and tugging on his arm. His eyes swept her body up and down and gave her a quizzical look. _‘To sleep!’_

‘Oh, yes, of course.’ He said and paused. ‘Are we allowed to make love while you are with child?’

‘I…I don’t know.’ She said quietly ‘I don’t know very much about day to day life being pregnant.’

‘Do we make love every day?’

‘We’ve hardly made love at all recently. Richard, I don’t think I can cope without being with you intimately until after the baby is born.’ She said, the thought suddenly dawning on her. To her amazement, Richard laughed.

‘My God, what have I turned you into?’ he said, pulling her back into his arms.

‘A very happy wife.’ She giggled

‘I’ve done something right, at least.’

‘So, are we going to bed?’

 

 

Half an hour later they were, to Eleanor’s delight, curled up in bed but not yet asleep. Both facing the window, Richard was wrapped around Eleanor from behind; absently stroking her stomach. But now she was here, Eleanor found herself unable to sleep and knowing that Richard had not yet drifted off into slumber she said

‘Who were the other women?’ Richard’s hand stopped moving and she felt his head lift from the pillow.

‘Pardon?’ he asked incredulously

‘I know you haven’t been celibate, who were they?’ she said, peering back over her shoulder.

‘Eleanor, I’m not going to tell you that.’ Richard said, his face unable to hide his disbelief.

‘Why not?’ she persevered.

‘Because…’

‘Don’t say it’s because it isn’t seemly.’ She interrupted.

‘I was going to say, because it doesn’t matter now, they don’t matter now. There was no one permanent in any case.’ He said, bending his head to the crook of her neck and kissing the delicate skin there.

‘But there must have been many?’ she continued.

‘Why do you think that?’ He asked, an air of interest now creeping into his voice.

‘You’re too good at pleasing me in bed. You must have had a lot of practice.’ She said, smiling at him audaciously.

‘You are an absolute wretch.’ He said, a look of satisfaction flashing onto his face even though he was still feeling uncomfortable.

‘I don’t hear you denying it.’ She said.

‘Yes, there were quite a few.’ He said resignedly.

‘What were they like?’

‘You are really not going to let this go, are you?’ He said wearily.

‘No.’ she said smirking over her shoulder at him again. He sighed and shook his head.

‘They were more often than not Spanish. Women that had lost their husbands in battle and wanted comfort for a short while. We were travelling across the country, they knew we were going to leave.’

‘And they didn’t mind you leaving them?’ She asked

‘I didn’t make any promises to them. It was not love Elle. What we have is very different.’

‘Were there none that you thought more special than the others?’

‘Yes, but I left them all the same. If I had married them, taken them away from their homes and then died…I couldn’t do it. They had suffered enough.’ He said

‘And they didn’t mind when you left them?’

‘There were one or two that may have held out some hope, but most invited me into their beds willingly and let me leave with equal ease.’

‘I wouldn’t have. Let you go, I mean.’ She said. He held her tighter and his hand returned to stroking her stomach.

‘You’re not jealous?’ He asked

‘You haven’t told me anything to be jealous about.’ She responded

‘I’ve admitted to being with a number of other women.’ He said, surprised.

‘Yes, but I already knew you had been.’ She said nonchalantly.

‘So why all the questions?’

‘I’m allowed some curiosity, am I not?’ She said lightly.

‘You are a most unnatural creature.’ He said, kissing her neck again. ‘Since you have dragged me to bed, do you think we might get some sleep?’

‘Yes.’ She said reluctantly and felt Richard settle himself down more comfortably once again. ‘Can I have some jam for lunch tomorrow?’

‘Yes darling.’


End file.
